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Savoring Motherhood

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Finding Rest in the Chaos of Mothering

Finding Rest in the Chaos of Mothering

Last updated on: April 5, 2024 at 1:14 pm by Lois J Rodriguez

Finding Rest in the Chaos of Mothering 2024-04-05T13:14:47-04:00 Lois J Rodriguez

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Image portrays tired woman needing to find rest in chaos.

Image by Engin Akyurt, Pixabay

Motherhood often seems like an insurmountable challenge. Alarm shrills and we are waking up bleary eyed, wondering how to muster the energy to face the kids. Halfway down the hall to wake the boys yesterday I realized I was only half dressed. Who forgets to put on pants? Tired moms who give it all they’ve got each day. Tired moms dangling from the end of a rapidly fraying rope. Tired moms wondering when they last felt the glorious steam of a hot shower.

If I hear this one more time!

Are you there with me? Barely hanging on with a weak grip, fumbling about for the white flag of surrender that you desperately want to throw down? If I hear the words, “Enjoy this, these years will pass so quickly,” just one more time, I might lose it. Although in my heart I know those words have merit, they are not the words I need while mired in this valley. There is nothing noble about letting motherhood consume and exhaust us. An empty vessel cannot pour anything out for another. Let’s figure out how to get filled back up again and establish a habit of doing it regularly.

God made us to function best within the rhythm of work and rest. If God took the time to rest in Genesis 2 after his words spoke creation into being, doesn’t it stand to reason that our bodies were made to take a break as well? So how do us busy moms cope with the need for rest and relaxation? These are some ideas that help me indulge in some downtime in the midst of the chaos.

Connect with other Moms

Often our desire for downtime can be rooted in a more complex need for female companionship. Connecting with other moms can leave you feeling refreshed in ways that just being alone could not. Here are some ideas:

sign up for a local MomCo chapter at mops.org
attend a Bible study
join a book club at your library
sign up for the school’s PTA
join local playgroups, often advertised on Facebook.

As Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; if one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the one who falls and has no one to help him up!”

Set yourself on a course to develop friendships with Christ-loving mothers. You may forge some great connections with other moms open to trading off on babysitting or sleepovers.

Designate your Space

Setting aside a sanctuary in my home is a way to step away even for just a few minutes. In a small area off our bedroom is what I call my Writing Room. This is my self-appointed nook. Mom’s Writing Room is off limits unless medical intervention is required! Find a space and allow moments in that space to bring you a little bit of tranquility. Be sure the kids know that you are off limits while in your space. Here are a few ideas:

a comfy chair in the corner
a closet
a large window sill
a patch of grass outside
a broken down log in the yard

Open Communication with your Spouse

If you have a partner in parenting, learning how to parent as a team is vital. Being part of a team means learning how to communicate. Sweet friend, unless you tell your hubby about your need for time to refresh, he probably doesn’t realize you need this! Spend some time expressing this need and brainstorm how this will look in your home. Often the anticipation of knowing that time to yourself is coming is enough to help you forge through the exhaustion. Perhaps choose one night each week where your husband handles the dishes and bedtime chores. You’ll know that if you just hang on until that evening, you’ll get banished to your space after dinner and enjoy a little quiet time while the household is handled by your honey. Mommy time out!

Alone Time in the Crowd

Planning a family activity where you can actually squeeze in some alone time could be a quick refresher. Choose to prioritize quiet time for yourself and you’ll find that even just a few moments of alone time will make a difference.

a walk around the track while the kids are at basketball practice
time at the library while the kids read books and you indulge in the latest magazine
a bike ride in the park where you have some time to think with the kids riding on ahead
dinner out with the kids at their own table while you choose a single in the corner with a book.

When Mama’s not Happy!

You’ve probably heard the saying, ‘when mama’s not happy, nobody’s happy!’. I’ve found this to be true in my home. My tone, attitude and behavior are the compass to which my children and husband are drawn. If I am drawing them to a mom who is tired and negative, I’ve now set that as the tone in my home. It is important to self-regulate if a tone of love and peace is to be found in our homes.

Colossians 4:6 reminds us to let our conversation be always full of grace. The more tired we are, the less gracious our words will be. Finding ways to set time aside for ourselves is not an act of selfishness. Rather it is one of love for our family. We care for ourselves so we can care for them.

Until next week, my resting friend! Won’t you share some ideas or how you’ve found a few moments of peace in the chaos?

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About Lois J Rodriguez

As a foster parent & adoptive mom to 4 young boys, Lois went from newlywed to a family of 6 seemingly overnight. Her deep dive experience with at-risk youth and trauma parenting has been a sink or swim adventure. Parenting neurodivergent children has sent Lois on a quest to understand the critical phases of child development and the challenges for at-risk youth. Her research focuses on hemispheric brain balancing, secure attachment, oppositional defiance and neurodevelopmental disorders, early childhood development, hardwired temperaments and brain remodeling. Expanding her research to early and middle adolescent development, Lois is authoring a book on middle school parenting. Dissecting this critical area of development into easy to understand language, she aims to reorient the apprehension many families feel during this rewarding parenting season. Join the conversation at LoisJRodriguez.com. You can read more about the author here.

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