Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Sarah Over the Moon

Home
New Visions
Would Father’s Day be different?

Would Father’s Day be different?

Last updated on: June 16, 2013 at 9:09 am by Sarah Moon

Would Father’s Day be different? 2013-06-16T09:09:57-05:00 Sarah Moon

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Would Father’s Day be different . . .

If Christianity wasn’t preaching that, not only are they allowed to hit their children, but they must hit their children in order to be good fathers?

If complementarianism wasn’t telling dads that it’s a woman’s job to raise children, and that caring, nurturing men are “emasculated?”

If society wasn’t still pumping out the tired, old idea that masculinity equals power, and that men who do not have complete control over their families are not real men?

If the world saw children as more than property?

If we learned that boundaries are important?

If we remembered the words of bell hooks, that “love and abuse cannot coexist?”

I think so. I have only been able to love my father since I learned that I am my own person, that I exist outside of him. That he is not the “king” of our family or the head of our household. That he is a person and so am I.

I was not able to love my father until I started saying, “You are not allowed to hit me. You are not allowed to talk to me like that. You are not allowed to do these things to my siblings, either. That is not right. The church has lied to you–what you are doing is not ‘discipline.’ It is abuse.”

I was not able to love my father until I set boundaries.

My father has done so many good things for me. I could be grateful to him, I could appreciate him. But until I let him know that I was not his property, and until he started to realize that too, I couldn’t really love him.

“Love and abuse cannot coexist.” I quote this line from bell hooks’ All About Love so often that I probably sound like a parrot. But I cannot think of a phrase that this world needs to hear more.

This Father’s Day, I want to shout it from the rooftops.

(Thanks to my Twitter friend, Heidi, who tweeted these words–“Love and abuse cannot coexist”–and inspired this post)

Previous Post

June 11, 2013

Must Reads!

Next Post

June 18, 2013 Blogging's been slow, so here's a cat.

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month June 2017 March 2017 November 2016 October 2016 July 2016 June 2016 March 2016 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who said, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Jesus Paul James Peter