Got milk?

Last updated on: December 22, 2011 at 4:20 pm by Sarah Moon

Got milk? 2011-12-22T16:20:33-06:00 Sarah Moon

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

“Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”

A lovely little phrase. I first heard it while reading a Christian dating book (a book that was “accidentally destroyed maliciously,” which is unfortunate, because it was filled with enough awfulness to give me blog material for years) that my mother bought me in high school. I know my dear mother did not read this book before she handed it to me, otherwise she would have maliciously destroyed it herself.

Unfortunately, that deplorable book wasn’t the only place in my life where that phrase popped up. Popular television shows and movies, abstinence-only lectures at school, chapel sermons, and well meaning advice from friends all sent that message–“You’re a cow. Don’t give up your milk or men won’t buy you.”

But my mother taught me better than that. My mother drilled truths into my brain that helped me counter the myriad of lies entangled in that one sentence. Here are those truths:

1. I am not livestock— Let’s start with the most obvious lie, shall we? This phrase implies that I, as a woman, am a farm animal. A farm animal to be exploited for my goods. A farm animal that can be bought or traded for. No thanks.

2. Marriage is not an exchange of goods and sex is not a bargaining chip— After sharing the gem about cows and free milk, the dating book that I had in high school erased all doubt in my mind as to the implications of this phrase. They explained, ever so bluntly, that men only want sex. Women only want commitment. So, marriage is essentially a business deal in which men get a lifetime of free sex and women get a lifetime of commitment.

All too often, I hear Christians (who claim to have a higher view of sex than the worldly one-night-stand-having heathens) cheapen sex by telling women that their bodies are bait for luring a man into marriage. Instead of teaching young women to embrace their own God-given sexuality and to love others, these Christians teach young women to cleverly use their bodies to manipulate men.

3. Men are not one-dimensional— The “Why buy the cow…” phrase is packed with gender implications that limit both men and women. I’ve already discussed some of the restrictions placed on women (though, I could probably go on and on. So much poison loaded into so few words). But let’s talk about men.

Men don’t “just want one thing.” Men are complex human beings. Most men desire sex, companionship, support, friendship, commitment, and love. Many desire a life partner, or even a family.

So, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Because that “cow” is a woman. And that woman has more to offer than sex.

Uncategorized

Previous Post

December 13, 2011

So, what about the men?

Next Post

December 24, 2011 Happy Holidays from the Moons!

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month June 2017 March 2017 November 2016 October 2016 July 2016 June 2016 March 2016 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who said, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

John Paul Stephen Peter