Stuck…

Last updated on: September 6, 2010 at 6:18 am by Sarah Moon

Stuck… 2010-09-06T06:18:28-05:00 Sarah Moon

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

There are many areas of life which the church tends to avoid. These issues are too controversial, too taboo, to awkward to discuss, and so we just pretend they don’t exist. I believe the most commonly avoided of these topics is female masturbation. But only slightly less avoided is this: Never go in against a Si- wait…no…that’s not the one. Ahem. Please Excuse my Princess bride obsession. Only slight less avoided is the area of self-injury.

I’ve only heard one church sermon on self-injury. Just one, in my 20 years of church-going. I wish I could say that the message was helpful, loving, and changed my life, but sadly, ’twas not the case. The preacher used the story of the demon possessed man in Matthew 8 that cut himself with stones in the graveyard to support his theory that all self-injurers are demon-possessed. When I left the church service, the preacher smiled, and shook my hand. There was no great exorcism. Just a smile and a hand shake, and I thought to myself, “If he only knew…”

I’m a self-injurer. I have been for about five years now, and, no, dear Preacher who will remain anonymous, I am not possessed with demons. I am just stuck. I am caught between the everyday problems of life and the church that actively ignores those problems. Dear church (referring to the general, world-wide body of Christ, NOT any specific congregation), I love you, but so many of us are stuck. You act like you have a monopoly on the freedom of Christ. You put imaginary conditions and stipulations on it, and us who are stuck feel like we’ll never be able to get to it, so we turn elsewhere. Every time I am told that I only suffer from depression because I don’t have “the joy of the Lord,” I turn to cutting. Every time I am told that “reading my Bible and praying more” will make me forget a horrific incident from my past, I turn to cutting. Every time I am told not to talk about the sins I struggle with because “it’s a bad testimony,” I turn to cutting. It’s not my first choice, but when I’ve turned to the church, it wasn’t there.

I don’t know the answer to this problem. I wish I could write a post about freedom right now, but I just can’t. I’m still stuck. But, is there anyone out there stuck with me? Maybe you’re not stuck in cutting, but there are so many things out there that we get stuck in. Perhaps, together, we can push our way out. Perhaps, together, we can find an answer. I know Christ’s freedom is out there somewhere…but it’s not right here. And, I’m stuck. Right here.

Previous Post

August 10, 2010

Love, in a word.

Next Post

October 10, 2010 Another...

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month June 2017 March 2017 November 2016 October 2016 July 2016 June 2016 March 2016 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who had Samson's hair cut?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Jezebel Delilah Micah Medad