6 Things Good Fathers Do: Here’s Number 2…

Last updated on: March 13, 2022 at 10:03 pm by Roland Warren

6 Things Good Fathers Do: Here’s Number 2… 2022-03-13T22:03:58-04:00 Roland Warren

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Father with Son

Number 2 – Good Dads Are Physically Present

Most fathers that I speak with understand that they need to financially provide for their children. Providing is such a well-understood aspect of fathering that often dads are just referred to as a “provider.” In fact, I often tell people that the only way that the government tends to think about dads is in this way. Alas, while there are a plethora of programs for women focused on maternal health and child well-being, for years, there have been just two for fathers: the tax code for married fathers and child support enforcement for unmarried fathers. Basically, from the government’s perspective, if a father is paying for his children, then he is a good father. Interestingly, this viewpoint has spread throughout our culture, with some unfortunate and unexpected consequences, especially for low-income, unemployed, and under-employed fathers. Some of these dads actually believe that they can’t be good fathers and really have nothing to offer to their children if they don’t have a paycheck of a certain size.

Prior to working for National Fatherhood Initiative, I spent nearly 20 years in corporate America, and I saw dads who viewed their fathering solely through the “provider” lens. They would spend countless hours at work—missing key milestones in their children’s lives—laboring under the misguided notion that the more money they made, the better fathers they were. Ironically, their lack of work and family balance was an obstacle rather than a facilitator to their efforts to be good dads. In fact, National Fatherhood Initiative’s research shows that fathers cite work responsibilities as the number one obstacle that hinders them from being the dads that they desire to be.

But, good fathering is less about the “presents” that money can buy than your “presence,” which no amount of money can replace. Kids spell love T-I-M-E and they come out of the womb with an instinctive understanding that time is your most valuable asset. Let’s face it. Whether you are Jeff Bezos or Bozo the Clown, you only get 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a year. You can’t barter for or buy one second more.

When I first became a dad, I had an epiphany about how important it is for fathers to consider time from a child’s perspective. My oldest son Jamin was just about a year old and I was a new marketing representative in training at IBM. As part of the training process, several times during my first year, I had to spend about 3-4 weeks away from home taking sales and marketing classes.

After one of these trips, I was pretty amazed at how much my young son had changed in just a few weeks. Then, it hit me. Kid time and adult time are very different in a relative sense. For example, if a baby is just two days old and you miss one day, you have missed 50% of his or her life. For you, one day is just a tiny fraction of your life. The bottom line is, in a relative sense, when you miss time in your child’s life, it means a lot more to them than it may to you. But, the flip side is also true. When you give them your time, it means more to them than you may realize.

Given the above, why do so many dads who want to good fathers embrace such a narrow view of what it means to provide? Well, I believe that it may be due to the limited perspective of Matthew 7:9, which I discussed in the introduction. In this verse, Jesus asked a group of fathers an interesting rhetorical question. He said, “Which of you, if your son asked for bread, will give him a stone?” He goes on the say these fathers know how to give their kids good things.

Over the years, I have used this verse often to encourage fathers to be good dads—those who give their children bread—rather than “bad dads”—those who give their children stones. It’s clear this verse illustrates this important principle. However, in Matthew 4:4, in the midst of his temptation, Jesus says “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” In other words, providing a material good is necessary but it’s not sufficient. Good dads, like our good Heavenly Father, do more because they know kids need more. They need dads who don’t just give of themselves. They need dads who give themselves as well.

Excerpt from Bad Dads of the Bible: 8 Mistakes Every Good Dad Can Avoid. You can order it here. To see the 1st Thing Good Fathers Do, click here.

Fatherhood

Bad Dads of the Bible

national fatherhood initiatitve

time with children

Previous Post

March 8, 2021

There are 6 Things Good Dads Do. Here's the first one...

Next Post

August 15, 2021 6 Things Good Dads Do: Here's Number 3...

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Abortion Culture Faith Family Fatherhood Marriage Men Parenting Politics Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2024 May 2024 March 2024 December 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 April 2023 March 2023 April 2022 March 2022 August 2021 May 2021 March 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 July 2020 April 2020 February 2020 January 2020 August 2019 July 2019 December 2018 November 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 October 2017 September 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who built the ark to survive the flood?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Noah Moses Abraham Elijah