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The Cost of Welcome

The Cost of Welcome

Last updated on: August 29, 2026 at 10:54 am by James F. McGrath

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The Cost of Welcome 2026-08-29T10:54:44-04:00 James F. McGrath

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The last time my Sunday school class met, we had the opportunity to talk about the cost of welcome. We read the story of Jesus’ mother and brothers coming to see him, and Jesus saying that everyone who does the will of God is his mother and his sibling.

The Background

Before we get to that, let’s back up to the way most translations render Mark 3:20-21 since that sets the stage.

Then he went home, and the crowd came together again, so that they could not even eat. When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people were saying, “He has gone out of his mind.”

The Greek does not say “family” here. The phrase in Greek (οἱ παρ’ αυτου) refers to those who were with or around him, or on his side. It could perhaps denote his family, but is not an obvious way of doing so. There is a reference immediately after to scribes saying similar things about Jesus, and so it would be more natural to make the connection there rather than with the arrival of Jesus’ family. Something like this:

Then he went home, and the crowd came together again, so that they could not even eat. When those around him/from his hometown heard it, they went out to seize him, for they were saying, “He has gone out of his mind.”And the scribes who came down from Jerusalem said, “He has Beelzebul, and by the ruler of the demons he casts out demons.”

Some uses of the phrase might justify understanding it to mean Jesus’ supporters, those aligned with him. But if Mark had meant his family, there were clear ways of doing that. Why would he choose not to clearly refer to Jesus’ family here, and then refer to them clearly later?

Even if the reference is to Jesus’ family, it isn’t clear whether they want to seize hold of him because “they” (as in his family) thought Jesus was out of his mind, or because “they” (as in people) were saying this about him. The latter possibility is reflected in the NRSVUE translation.

This issue is important because, translated one way, Mark 3:20-21 is the background to the arrival of Jesus’ family wanting to talk to him. Understood differently, the two are unconnected. It makes a difference to how we understand the scene in which Jesus’ mother and siblings want to speak to him.

Jesus’ Families

Here’s how Mark tells that story (Mark 3:31-35):

Then his mother and his brothers came, and standing outside they sent to him and called him. A crowd was sitting around him, and they said to him, “Your mother and your brothers are outside asking for you.” And he replied, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.”

The instinctive thing for us to think as readers is that that has to have stung. As we discussed the story, we came to realize that that may be true even if you view Mary, and at least some of Jesus’ siblings, as supporters of his work. The Acts of the Apostles depicts Mary and Jesus’ siblings as members of the movement (Acts 1:14). At the heart of Jesus’ teaching was the creation of a new type of kinship as obedient children of the one God.

On the one hand, Jesus said that houses would be divided because of him. On the other hand, he promised that those who gave up family for the sake of the kingdom would receive a replacement.

Let’s assume for the moment that Mary supported Jesus’ teaching about this wholeheartedly. It would still have seemed natural for her to be given some priority of access to her son, one would imagine. In the same way that your married child having expanded your family infringes on the privileged access to and relationship you had with your unmarried child, the expansion of Jesus’ family to include all those who do the will of God is good news for those welcomed in, but lessens the privilege of traditional literal kinship bonds.

We should take this seriously. When people lose privilege that they had, it can genuinely hurt. It feels like something has been stolen from you.

The Cost of Welcome

The issue with those white Christians in the United States who are upset at their loss of privilege is that they are refusing to follow Jesus in the manner exemplified by his own family. Mary and the siblings of Jesus did not start fighting against Jesus because they wanted to cling to their special status. They accepted the implications of what he was doing. White Christians in the U.S. who fight for their historic privilege are fighting against Jesus and rejecting what he taught.

The call of Jesus is a call to not just his family but all those with any kind of privileged status to sacrifice that privilege for the benefit of others.

The message of Jesus welcomes the poor, the marginalized, the outcast into a new family that means an elevated status and the meeting of their needs. How is that accomplished? Precisely by those who amassed wealth, who discriminated, and who excluded them accepting the loss of the privilege that was accomplished by those unjust means.

This is the heart of the teaching of Jesus. His family may not have enjoyed the feeling they had in the moment when Jesus lived out his teaching, keeping his focus on his new kin instead of granting privilege to his literal kin. Sacrifice hurts. It is what Jesus calls us to.

Jesus’ biological family accepted this. If you consider yourself part of Jesus’ family, you have been continuing to reap the benefits of Jesus’ expanded definition of kinship.

But if you fight to retain that privilege because it seems to you that other newcomers are being welcomed in, then you’ve misunderstood Jesus completely. You’re fighting against Jesus and directly opposing his teaching.

Jesus’ family accepted the cost of welcome extended to others. If you want to be included in Jesus’ extended and ever-growing family, you must do the same. Will you embrace the cost of welcome being extended still further, to those from whose exclusion you previously benefited?

Of related interest

Jesus and Those With Him

The Social Status of Jesus

Did Jesus Care About Family Values?

Musings on Mark: He’s Out of His Mind!

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