{"id":1068,"date":"2024-06-07T13:06:14","date_gmt":"2024-06-07T18:06:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/reflectionsintheknight\/?p=1068"},"modified":"2024-06-07T13:06:14","modified_gmt":"2024-06-07T18:06:14","slug":"what-are-happiness-and-joy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/reflectionsintheknight\/2024\/06\/what-are-happiness-and-joy\/","title":{"rendered":"What are Happiness and Joy?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

What are Happiness and Joy?<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n What is \u201creal happiness,\u201d and when will you know if you have it? And what\u2019s the difference between happiness and joy? These are age-old questions, and answers depend on who you ask. My grandpa used to say, \u201cYou\u2019ll know happiness when you don\u2019t have it anymore.\u201d And a friend said, \u201cI\u2019ll only know joy when it kicks me in the ass and says, \u2018Hey! I\u2019m Joy!\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n A Lit<\/b><\/span><\/span> tle Story<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n As many of you know, I had a pretty serious dance with cancer a few years back. Severe enough that it made me and all close to me take stock of their lives and evaluate what was really important. While waiting in the Proton Therapy room, ready to get on the table, I got to chat with a little girl who was maybe 10 or 11 years old. Her name was June, and, like many under cancer treatment, she had no hair but big blue eyes and a lingering smile that would light up a room and a heart. Every time I\u2019d walk into the room, I\u2019d chirp out, \u201cHey, June Bug! What\u2019s up?\u201d She\u2019d giggle and shoot back, \u201cCosmic rays coming from my big brain.\u201d Yup, she was getting treatments for brain cancer and was holding her own at a tender age.<\/span><\/p>\n One day, we were stuck in the Proton Beam Room\u2014a.k.a. a giant microwave with a table in the middle for people to perch on while getting zapped\u2014while they re-calibrated the beam. She leaned over on my left arm, laid her head on my shoulder, and asked, \u201cWhat makes you happy?\u201d I stammered for a second, no immediate answer coming, and finally said, \u201cI don\u2019t know, my wife for sure\u2026\u201d She silently shook her head, and then we sat quietly for a minute or so. She looked up at me and asked, \u201cWhat\u2019s the difference between happiness and joy?\u201d Again, a stumper of a question from a little girl. I did what any intelligent adult would do. I asked her, \u201cI don\u2019t know, what do <\/span><\/span>you<\/i><\/span><\/span> think the difference is?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n June itched her nose with the hand and finger with an IV sticking out of it and finally said, \u201cI think happiness comes and goes, but joy stays.\u201d Out of the mouth of babes. I had nothing to add.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Happiness. It\u2019s something we feel. It\u2019s something that just \u201chapp\u201dens to us.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n Happiness<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n Happiness is exactly what June said. It\u2019s a positive emotional feeling that washes over and through us. It can stick around for a flash of a second or keep going, but it is transitory. The first part of the word, \u201c<\/span><\/span>happ<\/i><\/span><\/span>,\u201d comes from the Norse language. It means \u201cluck\u201d or \u201cby chance.\u201d It\u2019s a moment in time when we feel elation, at peace with the world and with ourselves, a time of satisfaction. But the big thing is happiness is a personal feeling, something that is about the self. It\u2019s not about the deeper meaning of life, or one\u2019s forward motion in life. It\u2019s based strictly on emotion.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Joy is a lasting, deeper, and settled thing.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n Joy<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n Joy and happiness are two sides of a vast celestial coin. Where happiness is a very personal, emotional thing that can be transitory, joy is much more profound. Joy is not just the emotional feeling you have, but also the ongoing, deeper state one finds oneself in. Joy comes from the old Latin word \u201c<\/span><\/span>gaudia,<\/i><\/span><\/span>\u201d which means \u201cto rejoice.\u201d It came to English through the French word <\/span><\/span>\u201cjoie.\u201d<\/i><\/span><\/span> The idea is for one to rejoice, one must feel deeply and express that feeling selflessly. And that seems to be the big difference between the two: Happiness\u2014personal, emotional, ephemeral, and by chance. Joy\u2014personal or communal, deep in a person\u2019s psyche, and long-lasting.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Can a person who has cancer and is going through radiation therapy actually feel happiness or joy?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n The End of the Story<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n I saw June a few more times after that long treatment day. She was definitely feeling the \u201cCosmic rays coming from [her] big brain.\u201d She was tired more often when I saw her, and her balance was slipping. The cancer was winning the battle, and there was nothing I, she, or modern medicine could do about it. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Two weeks later, I came in for the tail end of my treatments. I was not in good shape. Instead of June, a woman my age was in the chair she usually occupied. She stood when she saw me come into the room. It was obvious she\u2019d been crying, but I saw something familiar in her. She had the same smile as my June Bug. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n The woman reached out a hand and took mine. \u201cYou must be Ben.\u201d I replied with a slight nod and a faint \u201cYes.\u201d \u201cJune wanted me to tell you something if I saw you.\u201d \u201cOh?\u201d I asked. \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d Her mother held my hand again while looking into my eyes. \u201cShe told me to tell you, \u2018I finally understand joy. It\u2019s going home.\u2019\u2019<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n I looked at her smiling mother, the same smile that gave June hers, and asked, I asked, a bit confused. \u201cDid she get to go home? I thought she was in the hospital full time now.\u201d Mary pumped my hand and let go as a tear fell, \u201cNot that home.\u201d Mary gave me a kiss on the cheek and left the room.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201c<\/span><\/span>Since you get more out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are to give.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n \u2014Eleanore Roosevelt<\/em><\/p>\n \n<\/p><\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" What is \u201creal happiness,\u201d and when will you know if you have it? And what\u2019s the difference between happiness and joy? These are age-old questions, and answers depend on who you ask. My grandpa used to say, \u201cYou\u2019ll know happiness when you don\u2019t have it anymore.\u201d And a friend said, \u201cI\u2019ll only know joy when it kicks me in the ass and says, \u2018Hey! I\u2019m Joy!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5429,"featured_media":1074,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,1],"tags":[744,741,732,738,735],"class_list":["post-1068","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspirational","category-uncategorized","tag-gaudia","tag-happ","tag-happiness","tag-happiness-vs-joy","tag-joy"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat are Happiness and Joy?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What is \u201creal happiness,\u201d and when will you know if you have it? And what\u2019s the difference between happiness and joy? These are age-old questions, and answers depend on who you ask. My grandpa used to say, \u201cYou\u2019ll know happiness when you don\u2019t have it anymore.\u201d And a friend said, \u201cI\u2019ll only know joy when it kicks me in the ass and says, \u2018Hey! I\u2019m Joy!\u2019\u201d\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/reflectionsintheknight\/2024\/06\/what-are-happiness-and-joy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What are Happiness and Joy?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What is \u201creal happiness,\u201d and when will you know if you have it? And what\u2019s the difference between happiness and joy? These are age-old questions, and answers depend on who you ask. 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