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What Do You Appreciate?

What Do You Appreciate?

Last updated on: August 9, 2024 at 8:36 am by Ben Bongers KM

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What Do You Appreciate? 2024-08-09T08:36:22-05:00 Ben Bongers KM

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What Do You Appreciate?

It sounds like an odd question, but it’s one I’ve been tossing around for a while. It’s astounding how many truly unhappy people there are in America, even though we are quite literally in the richest and most technologically advanced country in the world. I hear complaining and kvetching daily over the most inane and, quite honestly, laughable things. In the midst of these thoughts, I remembered a friend of mine while having a bowl of Wanton soup.

A Little Story

There was a guy I knew while I was singing with a truly amazing voice, the look of a star, and real command of the stage. We met for the first time while working with an international cast. The female lead was from Switzerland, and the second female was from Germany. I was the token American, and the Baritone was from a Bosnia. As usual, we singers spent time rehearsing and at the end of the day, would usually go out to get something to eat or drink to wind down and get to know each other a little better.

About the fifth night after rehearsal, I noticed the baritone usually ordered soup or salad—always with extra crackers and croutons or other condiments—but would never use them. Instead, he would slip them into his shoulder bag and take them back to his room.

Public Domain

Sometimes, we overlook the simplest pleasures. To us, they are just everyday things. But to those who have not had them, they are a real treat.

He and I hit it off really well. One day after a day off, he didn’t make it to rehearsal. We found out he had a nasty cold and wanted to recuperate. So, I ordered his regular soup and had the server bring extra crackers and croutons. I took it all up to his room and knocked on the door. He was happy, and let me in, warning to not get too close. He was feeling much better but didn’t want to take the chance of giving me the creeping crud.

I sat the food down on his table, unwrapped all, and set the extra croutons and crackers to the side of the bowl. With a big smile, he saw the pile of sides and scooped them up and poured them into a box on a side table. Then he quietly and quite reverently made the sign of the cross. When he turned, he realized that I had seen what he’d done and blushed. He said, “It must seem strange to you, but for me, well… It’s a major blessing. See, we never had enough money when I was growing up in Bosnia for these kinds of luxuries. I mean, we went to a restaurant maybe two or three times a year, and we were always warned by our Papa that we were to split the cheapest thing on the menu.”

I nodded my head like I understood.

He went on. “So now, any time I get these luxuries, I put them in a box, and I send them back home to my family. When my Mama, and Papa get them, they divide them and give them to my brothers and sisters and their families. It’s a way of appreciating what we have.”

It’s been a lifetime since I’ve thought of my friend. The memory of the beauty and appreciation he found in the smallest things came flooding back. He never had a feeling of being “owed” anything or that it was his “right” to be given things.

Why Should I Appreciate Anything?

How many of us live our lives by the numbers? By that I mean we wake at 7:00, leave for work at 7:45, punch in at 8:00, punch out at 6:00, watch TV from 8:00-10:00, go to bed at 10:45… and do it again tomorrow, never taking even two minutes to look out a window, or at the flowers on the drive home, or appreciate the way the light hits a certain building.

We are surrounded by wonder, but few people realize it or take the time to fully absorb it. How many of you have actually stopped and watched the sunrise or sunset in the last week? Month? Year? Decade? I know a particular opera company based in the Southwest US that actually takes a sunset break each night. They stop what they’re doing, go to a gathering place, and just be together—watching the sunset. Is it a waste of time and resources? Not at all. It rejuvenates and refreshes every soul in the gathering.

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When was the last time you just stood and watched butterflies dance? We are so into our own lives that we forget the greater world around us.

I have another friend who, after a particularly nasty bout of addiction, went to a Mass, and at the prayers of petition, added the prayer for butterflies. Sound crazy? Maybe, but he was touched by watching a couple of butterflies do a dance on his way to Mass that morning, and it made him think and appreciate the wonders of God.

Today Verses Yesterday

As I get older, I’m beginning to reflect on the special times with friends and family I’ve had and am noticing a pattern. Yes, I loved the big flashy and expensive events in life. The weddings, the vacations, the special parties and nights out. But the moments that stick with me, the ones that linger, are the small moments of appreciation. The day my dad stopped working on the lawn and laid down with me. We stared up at the bluest sky, finding different animals and cars and toys in the clouds for a half hour. The look on my 80-year-old mom’s face when someone unexpectedly handed her a big bowl of ice cream and a spoon. Staring out the window of a hospital room after a major surgery to watch a mother dove showing her chicks how to fly.

Public Domain

Being aware doesn’t cost a lot, and neither does being thankful for the things you can’t or don’t control.

Please, make it a habit to find one thing every month, every week, dare I hope… every day, that you can appreciate. It doesn’t have to be a big and flashy. In fact, it’s better if it’s small and from nature. If you begin to appreciate the small things, maybe we all can begin to appreciate the bigger and more important thing too. This is my secret hope for a tumultuous country and world.

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About Ben Bongers KM

Ben Bongers was an international operatic tenor and practicing sommelier for 30 years based in San Francisco, CA, and Europe. He has written monthly articles for trade magazines in wine and singing over a long and lustrous career. After becoming a semi-full-time caretaker for his parents, he earned an MA in Gerontology (the study of aging and care) and was asked to publish in an eldercare textbook in 2020. He has written several books, all published by EnRoute Books and Media. His first novel, THE SAINT NICHOLAS SOCIETY, has won many awards, and his other two, TRUE LOVE—12 Christmas Stories My True Love Gave to Me, and THE FARMER, THE MINER, THE ARTISAN (a children’s book) are both up for writing awards. Ben is a Knight in the Order of Malta and helped start an overnight homeless shelter at his San Francisco, CA parish. Today, he is a Permanent Diaconate Candidate in Kansas City, MO. You can read more about the author here.

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