So, What’s Stopping You?

Last updated on: August 16, 2024 at 10:47 am by Ben Bongers KM

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So, What’s Stopping You? 2024-08-16T10:47:18-05:00 Ben Bongers KM

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So, What’s Stopping You?

Have you ever heard that small inner voice say, “Who do you think you are? You can’t do this! Why did you ever think you were one of the special people who could do this?” I think we all have. But what about someone who has a real disadvantage? Say someone who has been diagnosed with ADHD, or is Bipolar, or Manic-Depressive? Go one further—someone who has lost a limb or an integral organ. Surely, they have a right and a reason to believe that inner voice?

Nope.

A Little Story

There was a little girl growing up in Texas who just couldn’t concentrate. She was all over the map and a real distraction anywhere she went. To balance the scales even further against her, she was put into foster care at the age of five, breaking up her family of two other siblings. To burn off energy and in an attempt to help her focus, her foster family would take her to the park where she could run and play. They noticed that she had a real affinity for tumbling and monkey bars, so they signed her up for a gymnastics class. In the class, she began to learn two things that changed her life—focus and determination. Until then, she made excuses for her lack of attention. Even at a young age realized that she needed to concentrate more, to focus more, to pay closer attention than the other kids. She didn’t use her ADHD as an excuse or a crutch. No, she used it as a springboard to greatness. The little girl is Simone Biles, the most decorated gymnast of all time.

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Some of the world’s most renowned people have had real excuses not to achieve more in life. But, even with real adversity in their lives, they focused and overcame!

Another Little Story

A little boy in Italy loves soccer more than life. Any given day, you would find him on the neighborhood pitch, challenging kids two, five, and ten years older than himself. He had other interests as well. He liked playing the saxophone, flute, and piano, but it was the thrill of soccer that made him tick. His weakness from birth had always been his eyes. Then it happened. After a particularly hard hit from a soccer ball to the face, his vision began to dim. So much so that by the age of 12, he was considered totally blind. Sad but undeterred, the malady helped him focus on making music to chase away the blues. He began to realize he had a voice and started to train that as well as his piano skills. Not thinking he would ever have a career in singing—who had ever heard of a blind classical singer—he went to university and gained a law degree.

He became a successful court-appointed attorney and lived a very comfortable life. But he wanted more. He didn’t look at his now total blindness as an obstacle. He saw it as an opportunity to do something that few would ever try. He recorded a demo tape of a newly composed piece that was heard by another world-famous tenor, and the rest was history. The song “Miserere,” written for Zucchero Fornaciara and co-written by Bono of U2, was heard by Luciano Pavarotti—for whom the piece was written. Pavarotti insisted that Andrea Bocelli—blinded at the age of 12, a lawyer, and an amateur musician—would sing “Miserere” with him on his recording. This one act catapulted Andrea Bocelli to stardom.

One More Little Story

There was a little boy who grew up on a farm and had a younger brother. At an early age, his father fell off of the barn roof into a cattle tank, breaking his back in multiple places. The father spent over a year in the hospital in recovery and came out with his entire back fused from the base of his skull to his hips. The little boy at the tender age of 9 or 10 was tasked with taking over the farm. He would go to school but, it didn’t really make sense to him. The letters and words and numbers were just a jumble. What did make sense was track and baseball. And… the ever-present work on the farm.

He continued on through High School and barely graduated, he did a stint in the Air National Guard, and got married after taking over the farm, now as much a ranch as a dirt farm. He still didn’t read books or magazines, but he was a wiz at working on cars, and building things and caring for his family. When he turned about 40, he had debilitating pain in his back and went to see the doctor. Sure enough, he had severe arthritis, caused from doing too much heavy lifting and work at too early of an age. The doctor cautioned that if he didn’t change careers—and quickly—he would be wheelchair bound within a couple years.

The man sent off for correspondence schooling to become a computer programmer. Two arduous years of figuring out code, numbers, words, processes, etc. Were daunting. He would look at it, chart it, double, triple, quadruple check himself and hen memorize his work. Soon, it was final exam time and he boarded a bus to a large city. He not only aced the test—the first time that had ever happened—but he was offered a job by the instructor for the local government.

With time, hard work, and persistence, he not only made a living, but thrived.

Several years before he retired, during a doctors visit, the physician saw he was having trouble reading. He did a cursory look at the man, found nothing physically wrong. He suggested the man take a few tests, which he did. The results showed that the man—who had run the farm at an early age, that had grown the farm into a large ranch, that had study coding and became one of the top in his field in that large city—had severe dyslexia! The letter “b” looked the same as the letters “d” and “l.” He many times couldn’t distinguish between the letters “e” and “o” and “c.” By all rights, he could have been considered handicapped. When the doctor told him, he simply smiled and said, “I’m not handicapped, I just figure things out in a different way.”

I know this story is true, because the boy turned man was my dad. I was at the doctor’s visit when he was told he has severe dyslexia.

Public Domain

Adversity and excuses. We all have these in our lives. But both CAN be overcome!

Take Away

We are all human. We all make excuses. And we will all face adversity in our lifetimes. But in the three cases above, the adversity didn’t define who they were. No. They used the adversity they were given to help focus them, to help them find that self-determination to be more than their malady. These three people are extraordinary in their fields. Yes. But it wasn’t because they were born that way. They faced their adversity, danced with it, and found a way to either live with and past it or use it as an advantage. We all will face adversity in our lives. There is not one human alive that will not face hardships. But it’s how we face those times. How we wrestle with them. How we live with and overcome them that we will be remembered. No one will remember Simone Biles as having ADHD. No one will remember Sir Winston Churchill for his “Black Dog” of Bipolar and Manic Depression. No one will remember Andrea Bocelli for being blind. They will remember them for their achievements—as gymnast, leader, and singer. So, what’s stopping you?

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About Ben Bongers KM

Ben Bongers was an international operatic tenor and practicing sommelier for 30 years based in San Francisco, CA, and Europe. He has written monthly articles for trade magazines in wine and singing over a long and lustrous career. After becoming a semi-full-time caretaker for his parents, he earned an MA in Gerontology (the study of aging and care) and was asked to publish in an eldercare textbook in 2020. He has written several books, all published by EnRoute Books and Media. His first novel, THE SAINT NICHOLAS SOCIETY, has won many awards, and his other two, TRUE LOVE—12 Christmas Stories My True Love Gave to Me, and THE FARMER, THE MINER, THE ARTISAN (a children’s book) are both up for writing awards. Ben is a Knight in the Order of Malta and helped start an overnight homeless shelter at his San Francisco, CA parish. Today, he is a Permanent Diaconate Candidate in Kansas City, MO. You can read more about the author here.

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