“Get Outta My tribe!”

Last updated on: March 11, 2024 at 9:38 am by Ben Bongers KM

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“Get Outta My tribe!” 2024-03-11T09:38:02-05:00 Ben Bongers KM

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“Get Outta My tribe!”

It’s nothing new. The Old Testament reading from 2 Chronicles 36 starts with, “In those days… the people added infidelity to infidelity, practicing all the abominations of the nations and polluting the Lord’s temple…” Then St. Paul tells the Ephesians in chapter 2 that they, meaning humanity before Christ, “…were dead in [their] transgressions.”

In a word, I blame tribalism. Tribalism is more than just being organized into a tribe. It’s a way of life and thought. You naturally hang with people who look like you, who act like you, who speak like you. You feel more comfortable with them, and there is a natural shorthand of thought. You know what your friends and neighbors are going to think, say, or do before they do it. It’s comfortable. It’s lazy.

The point is that the more we act blindly as members of the tribe, the less we listen to that deep inner voice—the voice God put inside us. The more I turn off my conscience and listen to people inside my bubble, the deeper I dig my trench.

Public Domain

Have you ever seen or been a part of a march? Mob mentality takes on an emotion all its own. As the saying goes, “People are smart, mobs are ignorant.”

A Little Story

Many years ago, I was in Dresden, Germany, singing as the US invaded Afghanistan after 9/11. There was quite a bit of tension politically in northern Germany, as it had the largest ex-pat population of middle easterners in Europe. They would work menial and manual labor jobs for pennies on the dollar. They were (and are) hard-working and caring people, very loyal to Germany, but they also still held a love and admiration for their homelands.

One warm afternoon, I was walking down to the river near the opera house and happened onto a family of four: mother, father, and their son and daughter of about 12 and 14, respectively. There was no question they were Americans. The man wore shorts and a tee shirt that read, “America! Love her or leave her!” The wife’s shirt was emblazoned with a picture of a rifle and the words “America First, Last, and Always.” The children’s shirts were just as pro-American as the parents.

Typically, these tee shirts would not cause a second look in Chicago, Kansas City, or Houston. But this is Dresden, Germany, with a very high Middle Eastern population. They stuck out. As I continued to the river, I noticed the start of a large anti-American protest forming. There were at least 500 worked-up people carrying placards and chanting something that ended with the word “America!” that did not sound very friendly. After seeing the protest form, I knew that the American family I’d just passed was about to stroll right into the middle of it, and quickly went back to them.

When I reached the family, I told them of the protest and suggested they continue on a different path. That’s when the unexpected happened. Tribalism at its finest. The father said, “What kind of an American are you? We don’t run and hide. We live in the best country in the world, and we’re damned proud of it.” I tried to reason with them, but it was no use.

Not wanting to be in the middle of a protest, I went and had a cup of coffee in an outdoor café and watched the protest go by. It was loud and raucous. I waited to see if the American family would be foolish enough to wade into the middle of it. Luckily, they were nowhere to be seen.

The next day, I ran into them again, bags in hand, and headed for the train station, as full of as much bravado as the day before. This time, it was the mother who said, “If these people don’t see that America is the greatest country in the world, then we don’t want to be here. We’re leaving!” And with that, they hopped on the train to the airport.

Public Domain

Why are many of us guilty of tribalism? In a word, laziness. We are too lazy to check the facts for ourselves from reputable sources.

Tribalism closes ears. It blinds people’s sight to what God’s Will is for them. It makes gods of countries and “influencers.” Tribalism has a bad habit of turning people’s gaze inward, to themselves and their own group, instead of toward people outside and in need. “The Others” almost automatically become “the enemy.” “If they’re not one of us, they must be wrong, bad, evil.”

So, how do we stop tribalism from destroying us? The princes of Judah in 2 Chronicles didn’t manage. They were soon overrun and sent into exile. By listening to that inner voice more than the talking heads and biased chatter. By taking the famous conversation between Jesus and Nicodemus, “For God so loved the worlds that He sent His only Son…” from John 3 to heart. By believing that we are all in this together. That we all need to believe God sent His Son to act as not just a go-between but as someone who reunited us with God’s original Will for us. Then, we need to act accordingly. We need to stop beating the drum of our own tribe and start helping those who no one claims. Or better yet, become a people without tribal borders.

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About Ben Bongers KM

Ben Bongers was an international operatic tenor and practicing sommelier for 30 years based in San Francisco, CA, and Europe. He has written monthly articles for trade magazines in wine and singing over a long and lustrous career. After becoming a semi-full-time caretaker for his parents, he earned an MA in Gerontology (the study of aging and care) and was asked to publish in an eldercare textbook in 2020. He has written several books, all published by EnRoute Books and Media. His first novel, THE SAINT NICHOLAS SOCIETY, has won many awards, and his other two, TRUE LOVE—12 Christmas Stories My True Love Gave to Me, and THE FARMER, THE MINER, THE ARTISAN (a children’s book) are both up for writing awards. Ben is a Knight in the Order of Malta and helped start an overnight homeless shelter at his San Francisco, CA parish. Today, he is a Permanent Diaconate Candidate in Kansas City, MO. You can read more about the author here.

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