Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Shoved to Them

Home
Catholic
When your mom is a dumba**

When your mom is a dumba**

Last updated on: January 12, 2015 at 2:11 pm by Rebecca Frech

When your mom is a dumba** 2015-01-12T14:11:12-05:00 Rebecca Frech

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

In case the title wasn’t warning enough, I’m going to use the word dumba** in this post because that’s the way I talk in real life. If you’re offended by words like dumba**, this probably isn’t the day for you. I’ll see you tomorrow.

I wish that I could blame this morning on lack of sleep, or sick children, or a wild weekend in Cabo…I can’t. This just is what it was.

**********************************************

Thank goodness I checked the calendar on my phone last night, or I would have totally missed my eldest son’s orthodontic appointment at 9:00 this morning. It’s weird that I checked it, because that’s forethought which is extraordinarily unlike me, but I did so I didn’t panic this morning.

I was up at 6:00 when I saw him stagger out of his room, so I whispered “You have an orthodontist appointment at 9:00. Go back to bed.” He flashed me a thumbs-up sign and turned back towards his room.

Sometime after 8:00, I saw him again. He was tying his uniform tie while also juggling his shoes. (He’s very talented.) He grinned at me with the well-rested look that I usually only see on the weekends, and said, “This is the one thing I miss about homeschooling. I love it when I can sleep until I’m done.”

As we backed out of the driveway for the 5 minute drive to the dental office, he was chattering away about the things he was learning in Chinese and amazing me with his linguistic skills.

When we pulled into the parking lot, I told him to go in ahead of me. I wanted to let my phone charge up a little more before going inside.

It wasn’t long before he came back out of the office with a frown on his face. “Mom, they need to talk to you inside.”

The front desk staff met me with puzzled frowns. “Mrs Frech, why are you here today?”

I flipped my phone calendar around and showed them the notation “D ortho 9 am”

The office lady shook her head. “Tomorrow. His appointment is at 9 tomorrow.”

Crap. (In the interest of honesty and full disclosure. This is not the first time this has happened to me at the orthodontist. It’s not even the second…)

I apologized profusely for the mix up and went back to the car, already mentally composing the “please excuse my son…” note in my head. That’s what I miss most about homeschooling. When I mess up now, people know.

As we got to the school parking lot, I asked him for a pen and a piece of paper. I’m a writer. I can do this. (That’s what I kept telling myself. I wasn’t convinced.)

“Please excise (my son) for his tardiness this morning….” and then I stopped.

“How do I write ‘please excuse my son for being late because his mom is a dumba**’?” I asked out loud.

He had no answers, so I began writing it again and again. It was the honest excuse, but I wasn’t sure that I wanted the fact that I was a dumba** to be a part of his permanent record.

Finally, I gave up and went inside.

“Hi,” I said matter-of-factly to the office lady. “I need to drop my son off and give you some kind of excuse, but I’m not sure what to write. I kept him home for an orthodontic appointment that it turns out is tomorrow. By the way, he’ll be late tomorrow too. I just don’t know how to write down ‘his mom is a dumbass who can’t use a phone calendar’ without it sounding like I’m actually a dumba**…although I’m beginning to think that maybe I am.”

God bless her, she laughed.

“Just write down he was late for a family emergency and leave a phone number in case the principal has more questions.”

“Family emergency?” I asked her. “You really think this qualifies as a family emergency?”

“Sure,” she answered. “If your mom is a dumba**, it’s kind of an emergency.”

True enough.

Poor kid is stuck with me for a mom

Uncategorized

Previous Post

January 9, 2015

You're Invited to Simcha's {virtual} Baby Shower!

Next Post

January 16, 2015 Lessons from the sickroom

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

How many chapters are in Proverbs?

Select your answer to see how you score.

50 40 31 28