Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome

Home
Progressive Christian
Stop Should-ing on Yourself

Stop Should-ing on Yourself

Last updated on: January 6, 2016 at 2:04 pm by Guest Contributor

Stop Should-ing on Yourself 2016-01-06T14:04:45-04:00 Guest Contributor

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

By Guest Contributor extrodinaire Alece Ronzino, a great idea as we enter the New Year!

I’ve been should-ing on myself most of my life.

Growing up, I was the all-American good girl. I did well in school. I went on mission trips. I moved to Africa as a missionary when I was 19. I did everything “right”. By the book. The way I was supposed to, expected to, told to. The way I should.

But I quickly discovered that the treadmill of striving is exhausting. For every should I manage to check off, more get added to the list. I need to do more… I need to do better… It’s a vicious cycle of defeat.

In my painful journey over the past few years, I realized how badly I needed to stop should–ing on myself. And I discovered how challenging it can be to get off that treadmill.

One of the ways I’ve found some freedom from the shoulds has been by ditching New Year’s Resolutions. I used to make a long list of goals I wanted to achieve in the new year, but never managed to live up to them (or—let’s be honest—even remember what they were). It only left me feeling like a failure.

So I began choosing just one word as I step into a new year.

One word that sums up who I want to be or an attribute I want to intentionally add to my life. And since it’s just one word, it’s easy to remember. I place reminders of it around my home and workspace, and I inevitably start seeing and hearing it everywhere, which helps me stay mindful of it. 839 My one word isn’t another to-do list. It’s simply a guide as I make decisions, set plans, and go about my every day.

My word becomes the filter through which I made decisions, the lens through which I choose to see myself and others, and the compass pointing me to True North.

It’s not about something I want to do; it’s about who I want to become.

Since I began this practice, my words have taken me on quite a journey—exciting at times, and terrifying at others.

Risk.

Look.

Choose.

Enough.

Brave.

Wholehearted.

I’ve seen these words shape not only my years, but also myself. They’ve challenged me, inspired me, changed me. Such is the power of intentionality.

I’ve chosen badassery as my word for 2016, and with equal parts trepidation and curiosity, I am anxious to see how it will grow me this coming year.

Will you join me in choosing one word?

You’ll probably have a love/hate relationship with your word. That’s okay. If it doesn’t scare you at least a little bit, it’s probably not the right one. So… Together, let’s stop should-ing on ourselves. And let’s instead choose what we want to add to our lives this year.

What do you want to focus on in 2016? Who do you want to be? Join the global One Word 365 community.

From Reba: My One Word for 2016 is SURRENDER. I want to let go of striving and learn what it truly means to rest, trusting that all things are held together by a Power much greater than my own. I love Alece’s community of support. What will your word be?

After pioneering a nonprofit in South Africa for 13 years, Alece Ronzino now lives in Nashville, TN. She’s a nonprofit communications strategist, freelance copywriter/editor, and the founder of One Word 365. More importantly, she dances in the car, talks with her hands, and makes a mean guacamole. She blogs occasionally but candidly about searching for God in the question marks of life and faith. Follow Alece on Instagram and visit her blog, Grit and Glory.

Uncategorized

Interfath; Reba Riley; Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome; PTCS

New year; alece ronzino

Previous Post

December 27, 2015

Podcast Sunday: Kathy Escobar's FAITH SHIFT (A #1 PTCS resource!)

Next Post

September 15, 2016 Bending Into Brave

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category #FridayReads Excerpts America Is Kind Couraging Depression/Healing Grateful to Good Kindness Podcast Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome Uncategorized

Select a Month May 2017 April 2017 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 September 2015 August 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz