Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Evangelical
The Ultimate Answer to Loneliness Is Theological

The Ultimate Answer to Loneliness Is Theological

Last updated on: July 14, 2025 at 10:25 am by Randy Alcorn

0 Comments

The Ultimate Answer to Loneliness Is Theological 2025-06-25T10:27:47-08:00 Randy Alcorn

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

At times all of us are lonely, but to be chronically lonely is to live with almost unbearable stress. Loneliness may begin with a sense of disconnection from others. You may feel you don’t deserve attention, or feel that no one would want to spend time with someone like you. If you know Christ, you need to embrace a biblical view of yourself that goes beyond the fact that you are a sinner and unworthy of God’s grace. That’s true of all of us. But it’s also true that God loves you and has redeemed you, and that you are in Christ fully acceptable to God and precious in His sight. Jesus promised, “I will be with you always” (Matthew 28:20). Meditate on that and you will not only be less lonely, but your changed perspective will give you greater confidence to build relationships with others.

Another cause of loneliness is individualism. The more we become aware of ourselves as individuals, the more we develop a sense of separation from others. Studies demonstrate that loneliness is more widespread and intense in societies which elevate freedom and individuality than in those which elevate corporate solidarity.

The inner person is habitually set aside in our society because secularism—seeing us as different in degree but not in kind from animals—inevitably denies or de-emphasizes our spiritual natures. But there is in our hearts a deep longing for God, who is the source of happiness and purpose. Pascal said, “There was once in man a true happiness…,” the loss of which created a terrible emptiness. He added, “This infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object; in other words by God himself.”

When our inner person is unfilled and we are out of touch with our Creator, we are left with a sense of cosmic loneliness. We may surround ourselves with people and events and things and activities and noise, but at best these are anesthetics that only cover for the moment the burning pain of our alienation from God—the worst kind of loneliness.

The ultimate answer to loneliness therefore is theological. We must become connected to the One who alone gives not only deliverance from sin, but meaning and purpose and personal relationship. This is what the Bible calls reconciliation. We who were wrong with God are made right with Him, we who were distant from Him are brought near to Him.

What made reconciliation possible? Jesus Christ becoming for us the loneliest being in the universe:

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:21)

About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”—which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46)

In His substitutionary atonement, Christ became our sin, and for the first and only time He was utterly forsaken by His Father. Jesus hung on the cross in all His misery, cloaked in the darkness of absolute aloneness. He experienced the hell of alienation from God so that we would not have to—so we can now enjoy the relationship we most desperately need.

No encounter with a human being can ever replace this ultimate encounter with God. As F.B. Meyer said, “Loneliness is an opportunity for Jesus to make Himself known.”

On the other hand, we are social beings. We need encounters not only with God, but as one child in a story put it, “Someone with skin on.”

While the effect of Jesus’ incarnation was to put skin on God, the physical Jesus is not now with us to look at and listen to and touch and hug. Yet we are physical beings as well as spiritual, and we need human touch here and now. This is why each of us in our own way reaches out to others.

No person is an island. We all need to be connected, to belong. R. C. Sproul wrote, “The first negative judgment we find in Holy Writ is a judgment on loneliness. God said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone.’”

We all need a family, one or more people who provide us the support system that helps keep us afloat. Jesus affirmed that the greatest commandment was to love God, but that the second, inseparable from the first, was to love our neighbor. He never considered these commands incompatible. He saw the second flowing directly from the first. One of the highest ways we love God is by loving people.

We need each other more than ever. The Bible emphasizes the priority of caring for widows, orphans, and any others who are unattached to the warmth and security of the family (see Deuteronomy 10:18, I Timothy 5:3, James 1:27). We must become more alert to adopting and integrating into our families single people (never-married, divorced, or widowed) who do not have close-knit families or who live far away from their families.

Those of you experiencing the stress of loneliness may need to take the initiative to reach out to a family. Invite them over for dinner. Text a friend or acquaintance and ask to meet for lunch or coffee or a walk. Don’t be afraid to say, “I need you,” and “I need you to need me.” In your loneliness, consider others who may be lonely too. Joni Eareckson Tada writes,

You can ask your church leadership for the names of one or two people who can’t make it to church, or you can check with local nursing homes and assisted-living centers to learn their policies for visitors. And, of course, if you know someone who is shut-in, give them a call and ask if there’s a time this week you can drop in (and take a little gift to brighten their day).

The Bible makes a big deal about visiting the lonely. James 1:27 says that visiting orphans and widows in their affliction is what pure and undefiled religion looks like. And in Matthew 25, Jesus says that when we visit the sick, he considers it as though we are visiting him! What a high honor!

Previous Post

July 10, 2025

More Than One Way to Store Up Treasure in Heaven

Next Post

July 17, 2025 Entitlement Is One of the Greatest Enemies of True Happiness

Recent Comments

0 | Leave a Comment

"The biblical references and examples make the message easy to follow, while the focus on ..."

harry085drop

Being with God Is the Heart ..."

"As we do good works (no matter how small), and struggle to live holy lives ..."

Tom Hering

How Can We Be Ready to ..."

"Katy Faust's "articles" are junk science at best."

Roger J.

Every Child Is Known and Loved ..."

"People can feed their thoughts or a few notes into AI and be delighted with ..."

rrhersh

AI, Ghostwriting, and the Ethics of ..."

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category About Me Animals Books Books and Resources Christ Christian Life Christians Past and Present Church Creation Culture and Worldview Doctrine and Theology Eternal Perspective Ministries Fun Grace and Truth Grief Happiness Heaven Marriage and Family Missions Money and Giving Persecuted Church Politics Prayer Prolife Salvation Sexual Purity Sovereignty and Free Will Suffering and Evil Uncategorized Writing

Select a Month November 2026 October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz