Grace for the tired out parent

Last updated on: February 11, 2014 at 8:45 am by Rachel Marie Stone

Grace for the tired out parent 2014-02-11T08:45:31-04:00 Rachel Marie Stone

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Our first child opened his eyes on this world for the first time at the beginning of October in Northern California. I was on my feet minutes after his delivery, and out walking with him in the sunshine two days after that. Although I had been ambivalent on learning of my pregnancy – we’d been married barely a year and a half; I’d just turned 23, and we hadn’t planned this – every cliché in the book applied: my son was astonishingly beautiful and I loved him fiercely. My grandmothers’ genes made it such that I was immediately back in my regular jeans, and we seemed to be off to a great start.

That is, until our son reached the ripe age of two weeks and decided that he wanted to bail on the whole ‘being a baby’ thing. I have since encountered other babies and children who matched his distinct set of characteristics. Rather than lulling him to sleep, the baby swing wound him up, as did going for car rides. Even rocking and nursing were more stimulating than soothing for him. He was too awake, too alert; too full of desires he was far from being able to communicate to us, or, better, to fulfill on his own. The very day he was able to grasp a butterfly rattle and shake it in front of his face – all by himself! – he fell asleep right there on the floor, contented and happy.

One of the most oft-repeated bits of unsolicited advice proffered to new mothers is “sleep when the baby sleeps,” which is all right when it’s your first baby and you’re not suffering from an anxiety disorder. I never could sleep when the baby slept, because it took such monumental effort to get him to sleep that every little squeak and murmur in our old house or outside it jolted me awake, worried that I’d have to start the whole going to sleep process again: the diaper change, the super-tight swaddling, the strategic pacifier insertion method, the pediatrician-approved wedged-in side sleeping position, and the little womb-sounds device we affectionately called “the swooshy.” After three months of this, I was a sniveling wreck of mature theological insights such as

“They say children are a blessing from the Lord but I think they’re wrong!”

People would ask me how many children we’d like to have in all and I’d just stare at them. Our son was two and a half when his brother entered the scene, and although little Graeme was a textbook ‘easy’ baby, in the weeks and months after his birth I began a slippery slide into postpartum depression. I couldn’t explain what was wrong; why I was so anxious, sad, and scared. And that, too, scared me. I don’t think I even had the energy for immature squabbles with God about whether or not children were really the blessings the Bible made them out to be. I just felt closed off from God, and almost everyone else, too.

“First Time in the Grass,” by SurlyGirl. Photo courtesy SurlyGirl via Flickr Creative Commons.

{Excerpted from my review of Kimberlee Conway Ireton’s memoir of having two kids — and then twins! — and a bit of a faith crisis in the process. Read it all at Englewood Review of Books — here.}

Uncategorized

anxiety

Cracking Up

englewood review of books

Kimberlee Conway Ireton

memoirs

postpartum depression

twin memoirs

twins

welcoming babies

Previous Post

February 6, 2014

Meet Me At Religion News Service!

Next Post

February 11, 2014 Not Laughing at #SochiProblems: Some People Have to Live There, You Know

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category "health" activism agriculture animals anorexia Anticipating anxiety art autumn Baking beauty beer Bible Big Food binge eating blogging body image Books Bread of Life breastfeeding brokenness candy cartoons celebrity chefs children chocolate Classical Duckfaces Connecting consumption cooking creation care creativity current events death Dessert diabetes Dieting Eating Together Emotional Eating fair trade Faith Family Fannie Farmer fast food fat talk Films Food Food Policy formula feeding Gardening gluten free Grace gratitude guest posts guilt HIV/AIDS holiday hospitality housekeeping Jesus Joy just for fun Justice kindness Local media moment of joy north fork, long island OI parties personal pharmaceuticals photo photography plumpy'nut popular culture poverty pregnancy Preserving real food recipes rest restaurants School Food Seasons spring starvation summer Table Talk taste television theology travel Tuesdays With Fannie Uncategorized winter

Select a Month April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 August 2014 May 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does "Melchizedek" mean in Hebrew?

Select your answer to see how you score.

King of Righteousness Priest of the Lord God's Anointed Servant of the Most High