Son of Fame

Last updated on: May 10, 2009 at 6:12 pm by Cat Chapin-Bishop

Son of Fame 2009-05-10T18:12:00-04:00 Cat Chapin-Bishop

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

There was quite a response to my recent post on the subject of Fame. It must be a subject that others beside myself have wrestled with. Certainly, a number of comments that were left on the original post made me look again at the whole subject of fame.

I think the trouble within the Pagan community is not so much that we have no one among us who can distinguish between fame and wisdom, as it is that we have not yet, as a religious movement, come up with any cultural norms that show us, as a group, how to figure that out. Because of that, I think many Pagans do have a somewhat unhealthy obsession with fame and popularity—and judging by the sheer number of comments on this post, it looks like I’m not alone in thinking that. As Chris said, “It is far easier to count the number of books published, to calculate the weight of a name you’ve heard many times in our relatively small lives than it is to recognize wisdom.”

But there is more to our (Pagan) cultural fascination with fame than just collecting autographs. Nettle’s words, for instance spoke to me. She wrote, “I want the famous pagans to like me. It’s my grown-up version of wanting the teacher to notice how awesomely smart I am. But, really, it’s the BNP’s who have written or done something I like and admire that I want to pat me on the head and give me an A+.” On the one hand, I know exactly what Nettle means—I, too, get a giddy, little-girl kick out of being noticed and liked by famous Pagans (writers especially). But on the other hand, I think it’s significant that both of us value that kind of connection from the BNP’s we admire.—the ones we already sense have some depth, in other words.

Partly, I think this reflects the truth I heard Copper Asetemhat Stewart speaking, when he wrote, “neither books nor workshops have been particularly useful to me, but friendships have.” For, no matter how much I may get out of a book or a workshop, it has been when I have built a relationship with someone whose wisdom and insights I trust that I have grown the most. On one level, yeah, there’s that “inner squee” Nettle describes. Maybe that’s there for all of us.

But it’s not simply the “foam on the capuccino” (to borrow Chas Clifton’s phrase) that is so attractive. I think we probably all hunger for real guidance and feedback from those we think are on the right track. And, you know, I’ll be very happy to take a hug from Marshall Massey, if and when we one day meet face to face. Emotional and personal affirmations are important. But I think the affirmation I’ll treasure most, in his case, will be that of a friendship with someone who cares about me enough to tell me the truth, and knows enough about Quakers to have truths I may need to be told.

Three hundred and fifty years have given Quakers a head start on traditions of what they call eldering–the nurturing of gifts and talents amid a spiritual community–and it’s something more than affirmation, though that can play a role in it. There’s also push-back, challenge, and a willingness to see reciprocity and mutuality develop over time. A quality of friendship that centers on doing something important, or understanding something important, fully and well. Together.

I want something like that in the Pagan world. I think my predilection for fame is not so much that I want or need to be taken seriously by every Pagan (or Quaker) that I meet; but I do want to be well known enough that I’ll find a readiness to engage with me and with my ideas on the part of the “weighty Pagans” ( for want of a better term) I will meet.

I want my worth to be visible when it counts, when it can lead to connection. I don’t actually want to stand on a pedestal, admired by all. But I do want to stand tall enough to make level eye contact with those I admire.

I want friendship. I want peers. And when Thorn writes that I am “already a BNP, at least amongst BNPs,” she’s hinting around the edges of what I think I’m most deeply looking for: to be visible as a potential peer and friend to those I think are perhaps farther along the path than I am, at least in some ways. To the degree that I am known to BNP’s I care about, I’m rightly gratified. And hopefully, I have demonstrated that I am ready for a friendship that has a kind of reciprocity that a student/teacher relationship–let alone a fan-girl/celebrity relationship– could never offer.

Reciprocity, challenge, friendship, growth. Not what I thought I was writing about when I first formed my ideas in my post.

Thanks again to everyone who commented. As I’ve written before, one of the things I value most about blogging is the quality of dialog it offers. I feel that I’ve learned something in this discussion, and that my ideas have grown and changed because of the comments left here (and on other, related posts since I made the original post).

I’m grateful for that. I think that that quality of connection and deepening is perhaps the real lure, underneath my less-mature cravings for celebrity.

Thank you.

Uncategorized

Previous Post

May 10, 2009

I Had a Mother Who Read To Me

Next Post

May 17, 2009 Keeping a Sabbath

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Cat's posts Peter's posts Uncategorized

Select a Month March 2017 February 2017 November 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 July 2013 June 2013 March 2013 February 2013 December 2012 November 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 April 2012 February 2012 January 2012 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 July 2000

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz