Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Catholic
Politics and Religion
Real Life Pro Life: Walking Mama Home Through the Pandemic

Real Life Pro Life: Walking Mama Home Through the Pandemic

Last updated on: March 18, 2020 at 7:55 pm by Rebecca Hamilton

Real Life Pro Life: Walking Mama Home Through the Pandemic 2020-03-18T19:55:39-06:00 Rebecca Hamilton

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

It’s been almost a week since I’ve seen my mother. Her nursing home is in lockup due to the Coronavirus, and I’m doing stay-at-home.

Mama fell out of bed in the nursing home a couple of weeks ago and gashed her head. I got a middle-of-the-night call. Since she’s in hospice, I had to ok sending her to the ER.

When I got to the hospital, they were giving her locals to numb the spot before they put in stitches. My mama has always been a stiff-upper-lip stoic, the daughter of people who grew up on the frontier, a survivor of the Great Depression and a world war.

She was and always has been tough about things that melt me right down. But now that dementia has done its work, she’s easily upset and frightened. I don’t think she had any idea who these people were, why she was there or what they were doing to her.

I could hear her terrified screaming all the way down the hall as I hot-footed it to her room. When I got there, I reached under the doctor’s arms and took her hands in mine and held them.

“It’s alright.” I said. “It’s alright. It’s alright. It’s alright.”

She calmed down immediately and the docs did their work.

After they finished with the stitches, they took her for a cat scan. The results showed that Mama has had a major stroke. I wasn’t surprised by this. In a way, I was relieved to know.

Her downturn a few months ago when she stopped eating and the dementia got so much worse was when I think it happened. The doctor in the hospital clearly thought Mama is a short-timer and so did I.

We got her back to the nursing home and I began what I can only call my vigil. That’s when I told you that I wouldn’t be blogging for a while.

The reason I backed away from blogging wasn’t so much time, even though I was spending a lot of time at the nursing home. It was emotional strength. I just didn’t have enough to deal with the world’s woes and my own simultaneously, at least not for a while.

My mama is 94. She doesn’t know who I am most of the time. But still, I grieved. I had several hard days of grieving.

Then, I gave her to God and His love. Mama isn’t dying. She’s moving toward her rebirth into eternal life. What waits for her on the other side is going to be great.

There were days when she was almost board-like in her lack of response to me. Her eyes were half dead, without the spark of interaction that people normally have. She threw food at the aides, lost down to 85 pounds, screeched and screamed, and talked to her mother and grandmother while looking up as if they were standing in front of her. I began to pray that she would go, that God would take her home.

But still, she lingered. I was baffled. Why wasn’t she going? I told her that she could go, that she didn’t have to stay for me, that I would be ok. I didn’t understand why she was hanging on like this.

I prayed and thought and finally came to the conclusion that God was doing what God does and that it was good even if I couldn’t see the goodness of it right now. Every day we live has purpose. We may not see it, but that’s ok. He sees it and He intends it. We can trust that, which is what I decided to do. I’m going to trust Him and not worry about His timing. He knows what He’s doing.

I guess that was another level of giving her over to Him. Walking Mama home isn’t just a matter of letting go of her, it’s also a matter of accepting that her leave taking is working according to eternal timing and that is good and right and as it should be. I don’t need to understand it. I just need to take care of her and trust as we ride this out together.

I’m not sure why, but God gave us one of His little miracles last week. Mama suddenly, for no reason that I know, roused from her stupor and came back a bit. I don’t mean that she took up tap dancing.

But suddenly, out of the blue, she knew me. I walked in to find Mama watching a 1950s tv western called Gun Smoke. Gun Smoke is an old fav of hers. I sat down next to her and she talked to me about Matt Dillon, Doc and Kitty.

Far more important to me, she recognized me. She was talking to me, not just jabbering meaninglessly. After a few moments, she drifted. She forgot who I was and lapsed off into gibberish.

The second time, I walked into her room late at night, after she was usually asleep. I was just making a quick visit, checking on her.

She was awake. She held out her arms and exclaimed “My baby!”

I got into bed with her that night and cuddled her. I kissed her and talked to her and she sort of purred with happiness.

The next day they closed the nursing home.

I’ve been praying that Mama will not die alone. It bothers me a lot that I can’t be there with her. It’s where I want to be.

But I didn’t make this virus and I don’t make the rules. Even if I’m not there, her angels are with her, and Jesus and His mother are there.

She’s been seeing and talking to her mother and grandmother for a while now. I don’t know, but I believe they are nearby.

She’s not alone.

Back when she was so wooden, so utterly blank, when she looked at me as if I was an object, I realized something that, while it doesn’t matter all that much in the ways of the world, matters a lot to me. It’s not important if she knows who I am. It’s wonderful when she does. But when she doesn’t, my reality doesn’t change. She may not know who I am, but I know who she is.

That, in the final analysis, is all that matters.

Coronavirus

Mama

Previous Post

March 18, 2020

Clouds. Facing Death.

Next Post

March 19, 2020 Sometimes, Being Pro Life Means Not Spreading a Virus. No Mass Saves Lives.

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category 10 Commandments 2012 Election 2016 Election 2020 Election 2022 Election 2024 Election Abortion Addiction Adult Day Care Advent Africa AI Alcoholism Alex Pretti Renee Good America American Citizenship American Fascism Announcement Anti Semitism Anti-Semitism Apologetics Archbishop Coakley Argentina Armenian Genocide Ash Wednesday Ballot Box Salvation Biden Big Beautiful Bill Bishop Black Mass Blasphemy Boko Haram Book Review Brainwashing Breast Cancer Bribery Calling Evil Good calling good evil Cancer Canonize Caregiving Catholic Catholic Vote Cause for Sainthood Chaos child abuse Child Labor Child Rearing Child Sacrifice Christian Bashers Christian Leadership Christian Persecution Christian Solidarity Christianity Christmas clergy Clergy Sex Abuse Scandal Climate Coakley Common Good Communion Communism Computers concentration camps Conclave Confession Consecration to Our Lady Conversion Coptic Christians Coronavirus Corporatism Corruption COVID Crisis Pregnancy Centers Culture D Day Death Death Penalty Dementia Democracy Designer Baby Destruction of the Family Dictator Dignity of Work Divine Mercy Novena Divine Mercy Sunday Divorce Doubt Drug Addiction easter Ebola Economics Education Egg Harvesting El Salvador Elderly Epiphany Epstein Eternal Life eternal life Eucharist Eugenics Euthanizing Children Euthansia evangelization Excommunicate Biden Extraterrestrial Life Failed Clergy Faith False Gods Family Fascism Fatherhood Feast of the Assumption First Amendment Flood the Zone Following Christ forced conversion Forgiveness Fortnight4Freedom fourth amendment Fr James Altman Fr Stanley Rother free press Freedom Freedom of Conscience freedom of religion Freedom of Speech Freedom of Worship vs Religious Freedom Geek Stuff Gender Theory Genocide God the Father Good Friday Gossip GQP Greenland Grief Gun Control Gun Violence Hate Blogs Health Health Care Heart Attack Heaven Hell Herod HHS Mandate History of the Crusades Holy Father Holy Father' Holy Father's Tweets Holy Matrimony Holy Saturday Holy Spirit Holy Thursday Holy Week Home Homeschooling homosexual Hospice Human Dignity Human Rights human trafficking Humor ICE Idolatry Immaculate Conception Immigration Incest Infertility Inspiration Iran War ISIS Islam Islamic Brotherhood Israel JD Vance Jesus Jobs Jordan Judas Judicial and Legislative Murder Judicial Murder July 4 Just War Justice Kavanaugh Ketanji Jackson Brown Laity Latin Mass Leadership Lent Less of Me Lying Lying for Trump Mad King MAGA Magnifica humanitas Mama Marriage Marriage Protection Amendment Martyr Media Bias Medicaid Men and Abortion Mercy Military Dictatorship Misogyny Motherhood Movie Review Murder Music National Catholic Register Nazi Clergy Neo Nazis New Category New Evangelism New Evangelization News Headlines Nigeria No Kings Novena for the Persecuted Church Nuns Obama Oklahoma Oscar Romero Our Lady Our National Embarrassment Pakistan Palm Sunday Papal Conclave Papal G8 Pedophile piano political priests Political Whore Clergy Politics Polygamy Pope Francis Pope Francis Visit United States Pope Leo XIV Pope's Prayer Intentions Pornography Post Christian West Poverty Prayer Prayers for the Persecuted Church Pro Life Prophecy Prostitution Purgatory Putin Quack Medicine Racism Rape Religious Freedom Renee Good Republican Republican priests Rerum Novarum Retirement Risen Lord Roe v Wade Rosary Sacrament Sacred Heart Sacrilege Saints Salvation Same Sex Marriage Sanctity of Human Life Satan Save Our Democracy scandal Scripture Shroud of Turin Sisters Slavery Social Justice Social Security Solidarity Cross St Michael the Archangel stations of the cross Stop Late Term Abortion Stroke Suicide Supreme Court Surrogacy Surveillance State Synod Syria Taliban Tariffs Taxes Technology Thanksgiving The Ascension The Cross The Locust Class The Political Heresy The Resurrection The Tomb The Transfiguration The Trinity The War on Girls Tornado Trauma Trump Trump Coup Trump Destroying America Trump's Coup Trump's War on the Rule of Law Trumpism Ukraine Uncategorized USAID USCCB Vatican Vatican Reform Violence Against Women Violence in America Vocation Voting Rights Wages Walk for Life War Weight Loss White House Why Aren't You a Feminist Too? Woke Women Leaders Women's Rights Worker's Rights World Hunger World War I World War III World Youth Day Worship Writing Year of Faith

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 March 2024 February 2024 November 2023 October 2023 August 2023 July 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 October 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 August 2016 May 2016 April 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 January 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does Paul say he does not do the good he wants to do, but instead does?

Select your answer to see how you score.

What is sinful The evil he does not want to do What displeases God What leads to death