Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Preventing Grace

Home
Evangelical
Relationships and Religion
Unless It Dies

Unless It Dies

Last updated on: March 18, 2024 at 1:02 pm by Anne Kennedy

0 Comments

Unless It Dies 2024-03-18T13:02:09-04:00 Anne Kennedy

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

As many of you know, I’ve been irritated by Glennon Doyle’s mischaracterization of the concept of self-sacrifice ever since I read Untamed, however many years ago. The manner in which she twisted the idea of dying to the self for the sake of another as though it were a bad thing vexed me so that every now and then, I think about it again and become annoyed. This weekend I gained a small measure of understanding about why, indeed, and how wicked it is to say that loving the self is better than dying–metaphorically–to the self.

The gospel reading for yesterday began like this:

Now among those who went up to worship at the feast were some Greeks. So these came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and asked him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” Philip went and told Andrew; Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. And Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.

There are so many interesting points to draw out of this short vignette. In the first place, Jesus is in the week of his Passion and Death. He knows it’s coming, indeed is precipitating conflict with the people who will eventually deliver him to Pilate. He is watching for signs that his hour is upon him. And yet, I’m always so surprised that the moment he understands that the time is ripe would be something seemingly so unremarkable. Some Greeks have come to the feast, and they “wish to see Jesus.” That’s what he’s been waiting for. That is the sign he is about to be “glorified.” That is when he says these strange words about the grain of wheat.

If you have ever spent any time in Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, you will know that the grain of wheat that falls into the ground and dies is one of the treasured parables presented to young children. Of all the parables Jesus told to draw his friends close and confound his enemies, Cavaletti chose the Pearl of Great Price, the Treasure Hidden in the Field, the Leaven, the Mustard Seed, and the Grain of Wheat to go alongside the most essential image, that of the Shepherd and the Sheep. So, usually sometime between Christmas and Easter, the scripture is opened and the words, “unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit,” are read aloud and the children–and the adult–wonder about them.

It’s that word “alone” that confounds the world, I think. We hear constantly and unceasingly about loneliness. It is an epidemic. It is a health crisis. It must be solved. Therefore, articles are written and money is traded from one agency to another. Meanwhile, day to day, moment to moment, the sense of alienation most Western people feel can be measured by the number of hours they scroll on their phones, by the blank misery on their faces as they drive down the road or wander around Walmart. Almost everyone lacks a deeply satisfying relational connection to another, one that is powerful enough to overcome loneliness and ultimately, despair. There are a thousand ways to diagnose and describe the aloneness of being a modern person. There are a million TikToks displaying its depth and breadth. Everyone knows it is there. Everyone feels it. And every day it gets worse. Why is this?

The reason is simple enough, but too hard and strange to accept. The reason the loneliness gets worse every day is that the world, and all the influencers therein, believe and teach the lie that the only way to be connected to other people is not to die. ‘Don’t want to be alone?’ they cry, ‘then do everything that will guarantee your aloneness.’ Privilege yourself. Think about yourself. Be good to yourself. Forgive yourself. Care for yourself. Help yourself. And, to crown them all, Love yourself.

But, unless the grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone. The mystery at the heart of our broken world, the very mystery of Christ who came to save us, is that if you don’t die, you cannot live. Which is to say, if you don’t die, you will always and forever be alone.

What is it that death accomplishes? And what kind of death is it?

This is a great mystery that can only be understood through the pain of experience. The death isn’t physical, or literal. But it is spiritual and real. Jesus really did physically die and so will you. But the metaphorical deaths before that belong in the spiritual, psychic, and even emotional sphere. You die by letting someone else go before you. You die by letting someone else be right, by letting them have what you should have had, by giving them something you believed belonged to you. You let fall into the ground what is yours, what is owed, what is essential to who you are. In the words of Jesus, you go “last” rather than first, and in so doing, you discover that you are poor in spirit, spiritually starving, empty, in the depths of the pit, and that you have no power in yourself to help yourself. You look at your body and mind and soul and are not able to find any strength that will carry you into the life you long to live.

In this way, you “die.” You might still be walking around, struggling through the self-check-out, trying to find a new dentist, despairing over the mountain of laundry, anxious about the days to come, but you will have admitted to God and to yourself that the ground of your own being is death and not life, and that you are alone.

That should be the moment you breathe your actual last. But this is a mystery. It is about the glory of God. It is a recapitulation, in miniature, of how God overturned the sting of death and raised not only you, but all of creation, to life. For when you have given yourself into the hands of Jesus all the love you always needed will be yours, and in abundance. But practically speaking, having died to your own plans and expectations, you can take people as they are. With your alienation stanched and healing, you can forgive other people or open yourself up to them without the gnawing fear of rejection. You can die all the small deaths because of the death of Christ. To put it very simply, you don’t ever have to be alone again.

Have a nice day! And find me on substack.

Relationships and Religion

Catechesis of the Good Shepherd

Previous Post

March 11, 2024

A Happy Mistake

Next Post

April 8, 2024 The Only Command With A Promise

Recent Comments

0 | Leave a Comment

"Do you take dish soap with you? Or just rely on the boiling water to ..."

LucyL

Some Reasons To Go Camping

"This is brilliant. The fam has been watching the re-make, but I have avoided it ..."

LucyL

Of Pies and Men

"The depraved don't know that they are depraved."

Charlie Sutton

Don’t Lose Heart

"I'm sorry to hear that (ie 2.) I do hope if you get to enjoy ..."

LucyL

7 Takes In All Directions

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category books Catechesis of the Good Shepherd Children in Conversation culture watch Daily Devotions Demotivations with Anne faith alone for the grandparents GAFCON In conversation with children In the News Kitchen Notes Lambeth Learning Notes Life Going On Men are Human Notes from Home Pictures Reading the Bible Saturday Links Sermons Signs of the Apocalypse The Bad Word Association The Prayer of Jonah Travel Notes Uncategorized Witless Wednesdays Work and the Christian

Select a Month June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 July 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who prayed in the lions' den every day?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Solomon David Daniel Paul

Books by This Author Books by Anne Kennedy

See All Titles »