Sorry Sorry Sorry

Last updated on: April 5, 2022 at 7:31 am by Anne Kennedy

Sorry Sorry Sorry 2022-04-05T07:31:57-04:00 Anne Kennedy

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

First of all, this pithy thing is absolutely brilliant and reminded me that I should be having a better time than I am. This crazy moment should be a lot of fun because it’s so crazy (except that it’s so tragic, of course). And, for real, I was cheated during the Trump years. That promised to be the funniest of all funny times, but instead of laughing at ourselves in the corporate way that would have cleared the emotional fog and eventually allowed everyone to repent and get along, everything had to become the most serious thing ever. To illustrate this point, I will laboriously try to describe something I watched on youtube. I don’t want to actually link it, because a lot of what was discussed was objectionable, and I bet you won’t have time to go googling to find it and that will probably be to your benefit.

So anyway, every now and then I check in to see how Graham Norton is doing. He made his way into the public eye, as far as I can remember, by being so funny on Father Ted, which I’m pretty sure, like everything else, could not be filmed anymore. For many long years now he has hosted one of those celebrity interview programs where they all sit around drinking drinks and looking beautiful. The celebrity guests are supposed to tell gently embarrassing stories about themselves–the kind that aren’t really embarrassing, but that do make you laugh. The celebrity emerges unscathed, looking as splendid as ever, and Graham simpers and giggles. Also, there is always a musical guest.

So whichever episode I watched featured a not unpleasant singing young person, wearing fantastically tall boots with rather severe hair and a pleasant voice. Can’t remember her name, but the song was called “I’m Sorry.” I liked it enough that I will probably eventually look it up and listen to it again. In the song, the young person admitted to needing sometimes to apologize, but then going overboard and apologizing for everything. She does bad things, she crooned, but then she also over-apologizes for the bad things. It was quite clever really.

The song concluded, the young singer was invited over to join, for just a moment, the starlight of Minnie Driver, Courtney Cox, and two other extremely famous people whose names have escaped me. The singer was overcome both from the exertions of her performance and from being in the same place as so many famous people. But eventually, her nerves settled, she tried to answer the question about how she came to write the song. Not quoting her directly, because I can’t remember exactly, she explained that she is sometimes quite awful to the people she loves, but then, as the song says, she over apologizes. It was a straightforward answer, and, dare I say it, an extremely human predicament. All of us do sin occasionally, and then have to say sorry, but then make it worse by not letting it go.

But Minnie Driver and the other female guest whose name I have forgotten had to leap in and begin to shift the general discussion of apologizing to female empowerment in particular. Women have to always be the first to apologize, they said, and it is for nefarious reasons that they often go on and apologize too much, because of the patriarchy and so forth. They rescued the situation, in other words, from veering too closely into the terrible idea that women might sometimes have things to apologize for. Girl, they shouted, metaphorically of course–no one was actually shouting–DON’T APOLOGIZE.

And I thought to myself, as I so often do now, what a terribly stupid time to be alive.

Not to put too fine a point on it, saying you’re sorry so often that it becomes reflexive, habitual even, is one of the most sensible things you can do. Indeed, it is the last thing on my lips at night as I am falling asleep, and often the first thing in the morning, even when I haven’t done anything, in particular, to have to say it. In the first place, it disarms all my dear family. They are often angry with me for a variety of reasons. I have both yelled at and disappointed them. I have not put their needs before my own. I am a sinner. Of course, they are too, so they could say sorry to me, and generally they do because I am always doing it first. I mean, we might spiritually be Canadian. But is that bad? I don’t think so.

In the second place, saying sorry, while not technically repentance, is at least a gateway drug. You can be sorry about something and not actually repentant in a Christian sense. Judas, as we all know, was extremely sorry for what he did, but was not willing to turn away from himself and cling to Jesus. Being sorry is only the first step, and, if you go on saying it over and over, it can harden you, I think, to being able to let go of all the bad things you’ve done into the hands of the only one who can sort them out. But it is a first step, and if you preclude over half of the human population from ever saying it, or even feeling it, because they are so special and important, you are the most unkind person ever and you should apologize.

Have a nice day! Unless you don’t want to, in which case I’m sorry.

Demotivations with Anne

Culture Watch

Feminism

Just Plain Spiritual

Previous Post

April 4, 2022

Social Imaginaries Podcast and Links

Next Post

April 6, 2022 Um, No

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category books Catechesis of the Good Shepherd Children in Conversation culture watch Daily Devotions Demotivations with Anne faith alone for the grandparents GAFCON In conversation with children In the News Kitchen Notes Lambeth Learning Notes Life Going On Men are Human Notes from Home Pictures Reading the Bible Saturday Links Sermons Signs of the Apocalypse The Bad Word Association The Prayer of Jonah Travel Notes Uncategorized Witless Wednesdays Work and the Christian

Select a Month June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 July 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which prophet was taken up to heaven in a whirlwind?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Elisha Jeremiah Elijah Isaiah

Books by This Author Books by Anne Kennedy

See All Titles »