Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Preventing Grace

Home
Evangelical
For Pride Month Eschew Pride

For Pride Month Eschew Pride

Last updated on: June 3, 2021 at 7:16 am by Anne Kennedy

For Pride Month Eschew Pride 2021-06-03T07:16:21-04:00 Anne Kennedy

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to talk about Pride all month, even though it is the liturgical time so to do, but I do just want to respond to this Facebook post:

I hesitated to post about pride month. Then I sat with an ex-gay camp survivor.

Yesterday a closeted Presbyterian pastor told me about his time at Love in Action, a residential pray-the-gay-away program in Memphis.

He shared a particularly painful story of a 15-year-old boy forced to attend by his parents.

Because he was a minor, he wasn’t allowed to stay on-site. His parents rented an extended stay hotel room and drove him to the daily 12-step meetings aimed at “curing the addiction of homosexuality.”

He tried to run away multiple times, but his parents caught him. When they dragged him back to the meetings, he wept.

As the Presbyterian pastor shared this story with me, we both fought to hold back tears. He pondered out loud whether the kid was okay.

It was clearly a euphemism. He was asking whether the 15-year-old-boy made it out alive.

This is why pride month matters. It’s not about haughtiness or flaunting sexual promiscuity. It’s an opposition to shame and hate. It’s a declaration: “We exist and we won’t hide again.”

It’s a promise that what was done to that kid will never be tolerated again.

That 15-year-old-boy didn’t have anyone to fight for him then.

He does now.

The post is accompanied by two pictures of the poster wearing a t-shirt that says “Coca Cola the real thing.” As I said, I just want to briefly respond, hopefully without too much heat, though hopefully some light.

Observe first of all that emotion is the first and most important ingredient. The guilt of the pastor, the weeping of the child, the hard-heartedness of the parents–all these are the most important part of what is being said and they are all essentially about how everyone feels. The pastor feels bad. The child feels bad. The FB poster feels bad.

Observe also the binary way this incident is presented. We have life or death. We have pride or shame. We have love or hate. We have the will of the child or the will of the parents. You, the reader of the post, must choose. You can either be on the side of love, or on the side of hate. Those are your two options.

And finally, observe the not at all subtle use of tribal victimology to demonize the bad people–the parents, and you if you agree with those parents, or sympathize with them at all–and valorize the good. The best person in this tale is the poster himself, followed by the child, and then the pastor who came to a repentant “hope” through the confession of his transgression.

I would like to paint a little bit of a different picture. The other picture is also binary, in some sense, and not very subtle. It also has an emotional appeal, and it deals in hate and shame and love and acceptance. Here’s how this other story/picture might go.

Once upon a time, there was a young man who didn’t want any of the things that had been given to him by his parents. He went to his parents and said, “give me what is mine and I will leave and go somewhere else.” His parents were deeply grieved because they loved their son. They didn’t know what to do. They agonized for a long time, but finally gave him his inheritance, which should not have been his until their own deaths, and he went away from them.

This son spent everything. All that they had given him, he used up so that there was nothing left. Then he was sad and hungry and ended up in some wretched situation watching other people being happy, while he himself was unhappy. After a while, it dawned on him that his parents–though he had wished them dead–were not yet dead, and that though they had given him everything that would have been his had they died, they were not as destitute as he was. He climbed up out of the hole he was in and went back to them, crushed and humiliated, expecting that they would lecture him, because they were surely awful people. And yet–and yet they had more than he had. Maybe they would give him something.

They, as you might already know, had been standing at the door waiting, praying, hoping that their son would come back to them, anxious about his fate as they always had been–because they loved him, because he was their child. When they saw him they lept up and grabbed him and fed him and brought him back into their house. The son was given back to them, though the whole episode had been so painful.

I’m sure you’ve heard this story before. The parents are really only The Father–the Father who lets the son, that’s us, go away from him, even though he has given us everything that we could possibly need to be comfortable and happy. You might also see the binary state of things. We, all the people whom God has created, have rejected him. We are all in a pit. We have all chosen the wrong thing. All of us together, no matter what kind of orientation we have, or preferences, or desires. We are all wicked. We have all told the Father to leave us alone. And yet God, who is so great in mercy, and who does not want us to go down to the pit, sent his own Son into that pit to drag us out and restore us to himself. He didn’t wait for us to come to our senses, he came into the very pit himself to call us out and give us life.

In this other and better story, there is no valorization for the person who posts on social media that he is in the corner of someone who cannot and does not want to escape from his own ruinous desires. There is no demonization for parents who are desperately sad about their child and don’t know what to do, and perhaps even do the wrong thing, though if they tell the truth to that child–that if that child will not fling himself on the mercy of God, that child will never escape from the eternal pit of human sin and pride–however painfully and awkwardly and unhappily, it is not the wrong thing, but actually the loving thing.

For the Christian, there can be no pride. I am sorry to say it, but whatever you take pride in–whatever it is–you are being like that son who goes to his father and tells him he wishes he, the Father, were dead. You are rejecting the good things of God, and choosing yourself and your own desires. Only God is good. Only God can give you what you long for.

As I keep saying, for Pride Month, eschew all and every kind of pride. At another point, I will talk about the difference between shame and humility, and love and hate. Until then, may God have all the mercy on all our souls.

Photo by Matt Jones on Unsplash

Demotivations with Anne

Previous Post

June 2, 2021

Peonies and Pride Month

Next Post

June 6, 2021 My Soul Waits For The Lord

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category books Catechesis of the Good Shepherd Children in Conversation culture watch Daily Devotions Demotivations with Anne faith alone for the grandparents GAFCON In conversation with children In the News Kitchen Notes Lambeth Learning Notes Life Going On Men are Human Notes from Home Pictures Reading the Bible Saturday Links Sermons Signs of the Apocalypse The Bad Word Association The Prayer of Jonah Travel Notes Uncategorized Witless Wednesdays Work and the Christian

Select a Month June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 July 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does 2 Peter say scoffers will say in the last days?

Select your answer to see how you score.

There is no God Jesus will never return The world will never end Where is this 'coming' he promised?

Books by This Author Books by Anne Kennedy

See All Titles »