Where Is The Covid-19 MasterClass?

Last updated on: March 31, 2020 at 7:03 am by Anne Kennedy

Where Is The Covid-19 MasterClass? 2020-03-31T07:03:16-04:00 Anne Kennedy

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I don’t know about anyone else, but my Facebook feed is full of Masterclass advertisements, more than ever. Perhaps because Facebook knows that I, along with the world, am sitting at home wishing I could avoid wasting the long stretch of time before me, but also hoping that I won’t pick up a book and learn something, but will keep scrolling and then maybe spend some money. Just because you’re stuck at home doesn’t mean someone somewhere can’t make a buck.

Anyway, it’s an interesting mashup—on one hand, a proliferation of Masterclass offerings (which I will get to in just a moment) and also several memes in other places about how one of the worst parts of about the covid-19 war is that no one wants to trust coronavirus experts. What do they know? Are they even on Instagram or anything?

Color me brilliant, because I feel like I just discovered that the internet could solve its own problem.

So anyway, in case you haven’t come across any of the Masterclass adverts, some of the ones I’ve seen include Joyce Carol Oates who teased some fantastical information that I know must be true: the reason that I and others have not become great writers as yet, is not that I lack talent or discipline, or even opportunity. No, the great thing stopping me from writing is the Interruptions of Others. You cannot believe how much I know this to be true. First, I know that it is other people who are constantly ruining everything and keeping me from my dream of writing the Great Anglican Novel. Also, my failures thus far have nothing whatever to do with my intensified covid-19 social media scroll, keeping my anxiety at a perfect pitch. I almost clicked on that class. I long to hear more about how if I could just get people to stop bothering me, everything would be better.

But then there is also Helen Mirren (acting), Anna Wintour (how to be super intimidating? I guess), Jane Goodall (inspiring female scientists), Gordon Ramsey (cooking), David Sedaris (comedy), some Mixologists (people teaching you to make cocktails at home), Bobbi Brown (makeup), the Got Milk guys (how to make a pitch), and Ru Paul (how to be your authentic self, and also drag). There are many many more, of course, and perhaps you, like I, have been tempted and even paid whatever amount of money to learn from the…experts? The Masters. The ones who have the secret knowledge that will help you toward the one thing that’s most worth having. That would be fame, in case you were searching around in the back of your mind for the answer.

It’s fascinating to me that these are being called ‘Master’ classes—learn from the Masters. The people who have ascended to the tippy tops of their professions, who have learned everything there is to know and will share it with you. For Ru Paul, some of those things are (in no particular order): “you’re born naked and the rest is drag;” “everything you put on is something that was built;” “I’m gonna teach you about self-love, confidence, joy, lips…wigs…everything that it takes to unleash the magic that is you;” “drag doesn’t change who you are, it actually reveals who you are;” “it is your life’s work to shine.”

The problem, you can see, is that if it is “your life’s work to shine,” and the person to whom you’re looking for help and counsel is a very tall man dressed up as a rather over-sexed caricature of a woman, when you come across some coronavirus experts on some other feed, you might feel like saying, ‘What do you know?’ ‘Why should I listen to you? especially when you’re telling me just to stay home, which is Not Helping Me To Shine.’

This, of course, pertains to the lamentations about the “death of the expert,” the tragedy of people who don’t listen to people who know things and think they know better, even when the things they “know better” are demonstrably false. The world is overtaken by the Dunning-Kruger Effect. We are ‘all’ that medical doctor who thinks he knows about economics, that judge who tries to do psychology from the bench, that restaurateur who gets on twitter to lecture the world about theology, the Chinese government announcing that they successfully coped with coronavirus (I’m just making things up, I don’t have actual examples of these, but google “stay in your lane” and you’ll see what I’m talking about).

And this is because the heart’s cry, “I was made to shine!” is deafening and blinding. If you really think you were made to shine, that the most important thing is to express your authentic self, you cannot listen to anyone who might have some other information about this—like, no it’s not. I mean, I am susceptible to this. I want to be special. I want my voice to be important. I want to tell people what I know about things, even if it is weird and probably untrue information about the coronavirus. And not just me—isn’t that at least one of the reasons many of us are online? I mean—not me—I’m just here watching the covid-19 ticker go up and up.

Anyway, for all the people who are flabbergasted about the death of the expert, maybe they should do a Masterclass? Or, better yet, let’s each do one! I’ll go first. Let me see, I could teach you how to 1. Be distracted by Social Media 2. Get behind on your laundry even though you are home all the time. 3. Fall behind on school even though you are home all the time. 4. Channel Henri le Chat Noire. 5. Try praying and fail at that too!

Demotivations with Anne

Culture Watch

Just Plain Sarcastic

vanity

Previous Post

March 30, 2020

Communion In The Time Of Coronavirus Podcast And Links

Next Post

April 1, 2020 Jesus Answers Your Silly Questions

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category books Catechesis of the Good Shepherd Children in Conversation culture watch Daily Devotions Demotivations with Anne faith alone for the grandparents GAFCON In conversation with children In the News Kitchen Notes Lambeth Learning Notes Life Going On Men are Human Notes from Home Pictures Reading the Bible Saturday Links Sermons Signs of the Apocalypse The Bad Word Association The Prayer of Jonah Travel Notes Uncategorized Witless Wednesdays Work and the Christian

Select a Month June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 July 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which book tells the story of the Israelites' escape from Egypt?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Exodus Genesis Leviticus Numbers

Books by This Author Books by Anne Kennedy

See All Titles »