7 Bitter Takes

Last updated on: May 3, 2019 at 8:43 am by Anne Kennedy

7 Bitter Takes 2019-05-03T08:43:57-04:00 Anne Kennedy

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One
If you’re in Binghamton, come out to our Art and Craft Fair tonight. There are some gorgeous ‘objets’ for sale. It’ll probably be raining but that shouldn’t stop you. I’m probably going early to beat my way past my dear sisters in Christ who don’t really deserve the particular item I have had my eye on. Christian charity only extends so far.

Two
I was just alerted to this strange and creepy phenomenon. It must be a little bit like those very bizarre grown up people who like My Little Pony a deal too much. If you’re looking for decadence, look no further.

Three
I’m not looking for decadence, though. I’m looking to clean my house and inquire of my offspring why they are unable to put clean clothes into their drawers. Why do they feel compelled to keep them on the floor with a lot of dirty ones and then stir them around like a great horrible soup and then complain of there being nothing to wear? I suppose I don’t really want to know. But also, I don’t get it. Why is it is so hard? Why cant they self-identify as civilized?

Four
I stopped setting my alarm this week and just gave in to the reality that I’m not really waking up before six. To do that I would have to be in bed by 8 and asleep by 9. But every night I am sabotaged by a child who has something due by midnight and who, just as I am turning out my light, looms over me with a laptop to explain that I need to check spelling and correct use of commas. “You’re asking the wrong person,” I say, “on so many levels. Leave me, I would be alone.” But children, or whatever you call them, are persistent and obnoxious and my bedtime is regularly ruined. Which means I am not staggering into the day by 8 with my mind in tact, it’s really more like 9 or even 10.

Five
Just read that Facebook is trying to make Messenger its main thing and have people not think about or use the Newsfeed much at all. This is because that seems to be what’s happening anyway, in large part because they themselves ruined the Newsfeed last year with their algorithm changes. But I read somewhere else that it’s also because they are trying to compete with China’s Wechat or whatever its called, and want to dominate the world. I took a gander at what they want to do with Messenger to make it more something or other, and just reading about it made me hate it more. I will continue to dig in my heels and try to exist angrily on a platform without using any of the features the designer is trying to force me to use. Every day I will feel tense and irritated, and rail against my misfortune, and curse the darkness. And one day I will finally have enough and go back to handwriting letters, which I was pretty good at. I hope you will watch my angsty progress with interest.

Six
Well, now it is pouring rain. Isn’t that great. I guess I will go stare out of the window disconsolately and ask God why he doesn’t like me very much. Then I will sweep the floor and explain, loudly and slowly, to the children, one more time, that if they don’t like ants everywhere, they can’t just throw food down and smear jam on the counter and walk away. Thats because there is only one day of Spring here. We go from frozen tundra to ant/mosquito season in one 24 hour period. That’s just the way it is. Just like Facebook is inevitably going to be the totalitarian ruler of the world, unless China beats them, who knows.

Seven
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