Bad Words on Wednesday: Should

Last updated on: January 24, 2018 at 10:09 am by Anne Kennedy

Bad Words on Wednesday: Should 2018-01-24T10:09:21-04:00 Anne Kennedy

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I confess, I’ve watched the interview of Jordan Peterson by Cathy Newman a bunch of times, and have read a lot of the articles about it popping up everywhere. I really like this one, but pretty much everything I’ve read has been on point. It’s one thing to watch the sparring on twitter, and to read people in their comfortable enclaves on both the left and the right, but very telling to finally have two contenders go at it face to face, in the ring as it were, and see what happens.

So what I liked about the interview, and what I like about Peterson in general, because it’s so unusual anymore, is that he is essentially a realist. How are things really? That’s what he’s interested in. What are men really like? What issues do women really have? It’s an unusual question today. I’m used, everywhere, to hearing the word Should. Men should be like this. Women should be like that. We should all behave this way or have these kinds of jobs or be treated like this.

I mean, I do it myself. You should go to church, I always say, and believe in Jesus. You should because it’s the best thing for you. And I mash that up against the fact that I should clean my house and I should be a certain kind of mother.

Cathy Newman wants women to be treated a certain way, to have various barriers removed from her path, even though, as Peterson pointed out, she’s already climbed over a lot of them on her own. A couple of days ago John Piper wrote that women should not teach in seminaries in any capacity, because the pastorate, scripturally, is for the men. A little bitty part of me would love to watch a video of Cathy Newman reading that article, just to see if she would make it out alive. But really, on both sides of the chasm, the question is what Ought to Happen. What Should we do?

And the trouble is, which is what I like about Peterson, we don’t really know because we’re not willing to look at how things are right now. We leap very quickly to the solution, without properly understanding the facts on the ground.

I, by way of a meandering illustration, haven’t ever been able to muster up a self identification as a feminist. I like men too much, in the first place. But I also lived for a long time in the theological morass of men being constantly belittled and told to be quiet, of little boys being forbidden to play with trucks and plastic guns because the parents were eager for the little wretch to “chose his own gender.” Things he always wanted to play with were taken away from him because, even though the parents professed neutrality, they had a strongly held conviction that it would be better if he were a girl. Indeed, one of my favorite pastimes has always to stand in line for the airplane, or languish at the checkout, and observe the horror of a woman elegantly destroying the ego of her male partner. It’s the fascination of watching a train wreck. You know how it’s going to end, but you just can’t look away.

But lately, what with the burgeoning #metoo catastrophe, and the misery one can’t help feeling reading about Grace and her little tête-à-tête with Aziz Ansari, and the fact that practically all the women I know and love are teetering on the edge of diagnosable anxiety, depression, and stress, I’m more than willing to finally acknowledge that women don’t have it that great right now. They way they really are isn’t really understood, even by me, which means that how can any of us know what they really Should do. I mean, maybe we understood them two hundred years ago, although that’s a dubious proposition, but as we go on, what would be good and helpful isn’t clear at all.

That’s why I love Peterson’s refrain, which you will hear if you watch him on YouTube particularly talking about women. “I don’t know,” he says all the time, “the answer’s not clear at all.”

I mean, I could, at this point, offer a neatly tied and comfortably packaged answer “from the Bible.” Women should be like this, I could say, and men should be like this, because that’s what all the verses say. And really, they do say an awful lot. But they aren’t neatly assembled in a list. And most of us don’t have eyes to see them because we aren’t really seeing anything. We have a too rosy view of the past, an overly apocalyptic view of the present, and all of us have bad exegetical and theological habits.

I don’t think it would be a bad thing at all for even Christians to take a cue from Peterson contending with Newman–to cut away all the assumptions and hurt feelings, to admit to how things really are, to properly and truly articulate the culture in which we live, without once using the word Should, and then go and do the same thing with the Bible. We might come out on the other side not having to say, “I don’t know what we Should do,” but something like, “Lets try this.”

culture watch

Men are Human

The Bad Word Association

Previous Post

January 23, 2018

Links on Tuesday

Next Post

January 25, 2018 Courage in the Courtroom

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category books Catechesis of the Good Shepherd Children in Conversation culture watch Daily Devotions Demotivations with Anne faith alone for the grandparents GAFCON In conversation with children In the News Kitchen Notes Lambeth Learning Notes Life Going On Men are Human Notes from Home Pictures Reading the Bible Saturday Links Sermons Signs of the Apocalypse The Bad Word Association The Prayer of Jonah Travel Notes Uncategorized Witless Wednesdays Work and the Christian

Select a Month June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 July 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

An entire city of 120,000 people repented, yet I was angry when God relented from judgment. Why was I displeased?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Because my prophecy failed Because I looked foolish Because they were enemies Because God showed mercy

Books by This Author Books by Anne Kennedy

See All Titles »