Why the Movie Version is Always Terrible

Last updated on: April 30, 2017 at 5:36 am by Anne Kennedy

Why the Movie Version is Always Terrible 2017-04-30T05:36:35-04:00 Anne Kennedy

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

It is always very hard for us to come up with a family movie that doesn’t send one or more of the children into a tailspin of despair and whining. Not being a person who likes movies at all, I’m not usually very helpful. Matt likes movies but is powerless to conjure up anything that two adults, two boys, the teenage thing, and little girls will all be able to bear. Plus the combined sarcastic impulses of all of us make family movie night a Trial to be endured. (Do not fear, this isn’t going to be about how to find a good movie the whole family will love.)

But there is one genre of film that is always enticing, that you feel Ought to be wonderful, no matter what, but that One Hundred Percent of the time never fails to disappoint. That is the film based on a book that you love. As in, you love the book more than anything, and you’re wandering around the vast wasteland of Amazon and Netflix, and you see the shiny, cheerful flash of recognition, and think, what could possibly go wrong, so you turn it on, and lean back, and within thirty seconds you are screaming in rage and sorrow at the screen, and crying with misery because now you are back at square one.

Some movies that we’ve tried to watch based on books that we loved, but immediately regretted trusting those movie people who have Never Done Anything to merit our approbation are
The Terrible Paddington Movie,
The Hideous Secret Garden Horror,
and, more lately,
The Completely Moronic My Family and Other Animals Disaster.
There are more, of course, but I can’t think of them all right now.

One child tearfully asked, ‘What would it take for them to make a movie as good as the book?’
To which I replied, ‘The book has to be pretty bad, and then the movie person, whoever he is, can improve it. That’s the only way.’

But the fundamental point, the deep and true problem that stretches out towards a subject more critical and far reaching than any other problem that humanity endures (and I bet you can guess what it is because it’s Sunday) is that Hollywood, just like all of fallen humanity, Thinks It Knows Better.

Essentially, people who make movies are human, and the human way is to look at something and without pausing to consider, to wonder, to inquire of anyone, think, ‘that’s wrong and dumb, I will fix it.’ Humanity is always fixing things that aren’t broken. Eve, for example, took it upon herself to fix her relationship with good and evil. Saul fixed em by offering that sacrifice when it was taking too long for Samuel to come and do it. Uzzah fixed everything by sticking out his hand to touch the ark. And every single Hollywood producer, trying to toil his way through a book, thinks, ‘You know what would make this better? Changing everything and making all the characters into irritating caricatures of the thing I have in my own mind instead of in anyway trying to understand the nuance and beauty of this work or even asking myself why so many people have loved it for so many generations.’

The posture is one of distrust. I must fix this because the thing in itself is not good enough and no one will get it unless I beat them all over the head with my interpretive boxing gloves. And it’s completely the posture of all humanity before the Bible. Really, the human person (and too often the preacher in the pulpit…not to question the humanity of the preacher) faced with the Bible is exactly like the Hollywood maroon faced with Anne of Green Gables. You open it up, you think, ‘well, there’s some stuff here that can stay, but not much, not much,’ you shake your head sadly and then start ‘fixing’.

But the Bible doesn’t need to be fixed. It doesn’t need to be made More Obvious with terrible songs, terrible terrible movie renditions, and sermons that try to make it more palatable by essentially shoving it into a PowerPoint slide and hoping that no one will double check to see if it really meant that. The Bible is good literature, and understandable. You can read it and jolly well comprehend what it is clearly saying. And, saying well. If you don’t trust it and don’t read it enthusiastically and unapologetically it’s hard for me not to classify you with the wreckers of the age who hate all beauty and only want to make everything about Finding Your Purpose, Finding Your Brave, Not Letting Anyone Hold You Back From Your Dreams. Honestly, not every book bows to the creeds and gods of now. And certainly the Bible doesn’t. Read it on its own terms for its own sake. And, for heaven’s sake, don’t bother with the movie version.

Previous Post

April 29, 2017

Saturday on the Run

Next Post

May 1, 2017 Obedience is Costly Podcast and Links

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category books Catechesis of the Good Shepherd Children in Conversation culture watch Daily Devotions Demotivations with Anne faith alone for the grandparents GAFCON In conversation with children In the News Kitchen Notes Lambeth Learning Notes Life Going On Men are Human Notes from Home Pictures Reading the Bible Saturday Links Sermons Signs of the Apocalypse The Bad Word Association The Prayer of Jonah Travel Notes Uncategorized Witless Wednesdays Work and the Christian

Select a Month June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 July 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who was cast into a fiery furnace but was unharmed?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Daniel Moses, Aaron, and Joshua Elijah and Elisha Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego

Books by This Author Books by Anne Kennedy

See All Titles »