Fat Little Horses

Last updated on: March 17, 2014 at 11:25 am by Anne Kennedy

Fat Little Horses 2014-03-17T11:25:36-04:00 Anne Kennedy

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I am prying my eyes open from a deep healing sleep. I know it's nine o'clock already and all sensible people are at work and swimming in the true bath of reality and gainful normal life, but Monday is my day off anyway, so really, nothing is that out of the ordinary.

Except that I drove to Indiana on Friday and then drove back on Sunday and lived what seemed one small whole life time in between. I had drifted from Monday of last week through Thursday counting clothes and shoes into piles, baking, counting equal amounts of crackers and cookies into bags, going back and counting again, sifting through piles of laundry looking for lost socks and tights, counting again, and then finally organizing the car to be functional and, this is the word I worked over in my mind all weekend, combobulated. All the time I whispered to myself, “you're insane. You are a crazy crazy person. What on earth do you think you're doing?” Except I didn't say 'on earth' I said even that terrible word 'hell' that I try not to say out loud because the children have fallen into the tick of saying, and I think they learned this at church, “what the!” and not going on to the next word because they know they shouldn't say it but everyone knows what they mean.

On Friday I woke up, not on purpose, at 2am and lay around till three and then hauled my weary self up and poured tea and coffee into travel mugs and rousted the children while Matt fairly danced around in joy, trying to pretend that he would miss us all terribly. We drove away exactly at 4am which was when I had said I wanted to leave, never for a moment believing it was possible. We drove in the dark past the whole of New York, Marigold weeping for her lost father, whom apparently she believed we would never see again, while Baby Elspeth shouted “The moon! The moon!” And then, “The moon is gone! It flew away! It went through the door and shut the door!” And then, “The moon! The moon! I see the moon! Mommy! The moon!” for two hundred miles until the sun splayed the last of the New York snow with somber gray. In between cries they ate muffins while everyone else sat in exhausted silence, finally falling back to sleep in the bright morning.

Ohio rolled smoothly by, farm house upon farm house, broken and ruined truck upon broken and ruined truck. I counted sixteen abandoned trucks wrecked on the roadside and then stopped counting as I drove past a huge line up of cars behind a semi wrapped around the median. Police, ambulance, woe. Then finally Indiana. How is it that the colors of the landscape change so markedly and precisely at the state line? Ohio was rolling and clean and opulent. Amish, I thought. And then the Indiana grass pushing past so much snow was rich deep russet and…what's the word…scrappy? Is this state a scrappy hardy state? Do the people have an edge? I drove on in great hope, Elspeth shouting and screaming her displeasure.

Which led to a flash of understanding about myself and what I believe. Belief, as we all know, informs behavior and life. We live, albeit imperfectly, those things that we believe. If you believe that god is everything and everything is god, you are apt to avoid bacon and live a lean peaceable, though I would insist, wrong headed life. If you believe that children are little gods and can easily break, you will not drive nine hours with six or them. You will not even have six because each tender god needs more care than one mortal being can possibly render. But if you believe, as I do, that children are a gift from God, entrusted to my mortal and broken care, and that they themselves are flawed and sinful and selfish, and, dare I say it, evil, you will undertake to drive nine hours with six of them because it is both sanctifying for you and for them. God, you might say, brings holiness out of suffering. The cross, you could go on, was plan A not plan B. If you were looking for an experience that would be the equivalent of lolling about eating a cupcake, you would have been disappointed. But neither was it like being imprisoned in Iran and tortured. Perspective. It's so so important.

We pulled up to a little rented farm house with tiny fat real horses at 1:37. The children tumbled out of the car and fell into the snow and shouted with relief. There, staring at us with suspicion and disinterest, were some fat little horses, two tall horses, and an enormous black sheep.

Elspeth ran forward with joy and wonder, fell in the snow, and screamed, “A Horse! A Horse!”

Inside we found a large comforting kitchen, hundreds of beds (I exaggerate only slightly) and TOYS!!!

And now I must take a short nap. Part Two in a bit.

In conversation with children

Life Going On

Traveling with Children

Previous Post

March 14, 2014

Being a Pastor in Binghamton

Next Post

March 18, 2014 The Children's Table

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category books Catechesis of the Good Shepherd Children in Conversation culture watch Daily Devotions Demotivations with Anne faith alone for the grandparents GAFCON In conversation with children In the News Kitchen Notes Lambeth Learning Notes Life Going On Men are Human Notes from Home Pictures Reading the Bible Saturday Links Sermons Signs of the Apocalypse The Bad Word Association The Prayer of Jonah Travel Notes Uncategorized Witless Wednesdays Work and the Christian

Select a Month June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 July 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does "Gideon" mean in Hebrew?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Warrior God is my Strength Redeemer Hewer

Books by This Author Books by Anne Kennedy

See All Titles »