Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Preventing Grace

Home
Evangelical
7 quick takes

7 quick takes

Last updated on: November 3, 2015 at 12:28 pm by Anne Kennedy

7 quick takes 2015-11-03T12:28:17-04:00 Anne Kennedy

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

one

I can hear the babies stirring the dog water with spoons. I’m pretty sure they have put all the food from his bowl into the water. I could get up and freak out. On the other hand, I can hear where they are. So if I freak out they will just go do something worse, probably.

two

Emily asked how we deal with whining and I’ve been wandering around the last two days thinking about what we do. Clearly, whatever we’re doing works only part of the time or I wouldn’t be using the word ‘whine’ as often as I do. It is like battling down the Assyrians. You may have them off your back for a few minutes but the second you think you can relax, there they are again.

So what are some things that have worked? It entirely depends on the child.
Elphine doesn’t whine, much, so that’s a great help.

So far Gladys doesn’t whine either. She does have a high pitched mosquito voice but that’s only because no one really listens to her. You can usually get her to stop screaming by pressing on her head and making her say it slowly. Usually she just wants to tell you that she needs another band-aid.
Romulus goes down at the end of his sentences, in a charmingly authoritative, though unacceptable way and so it doesn’t sound like whining. When you tell him to stop, he nods his head and widens his eyes and stops, for a tiny minute.

So it really comes down to Alouicious, who is a preeminent whiner, and Marigold.
Marigold, for the moment, just has to be given a fried egg when she starts whining. She is usually too busy to eat and so when she starts to do this horrible dying cow moan, its time to fry an egg. In the last month she has whined less and been saying things like, ‘I hungry egg’ or, ‘I thirsty water’. This has been an enormous help not only so that we don’t loose our minds, but also in the matter of everybody else figuring out what a Helping Verb is.
Alouicious is like water dripping on a stone. My first response is usually, ‘Stop whining. The Israelites whined in the wilderness and they all died. God hates whining. Stop it.’ And then, because that doesn’t stop it, I say something like, ‘Stop. Lower your voice. Ask me again in a normal way.’ And then, ‘Here is what you sound like. WEeeeeeaahhhhhhh. Now try to sound like me.’ And I lower my voice way down low and sing ‘Old Man River’. And then we figured out that Alouicious is usually fine if he has some control over his life. So, so far in the last three weeks There Hasn’t Been Any Whining Yet because I gave him his list on the first day and told him how much time he can have on his kindle and let it go. He reports to me obsessively even though I have very little interest in where he is on his agenda. Of course, he reports to me obsessively about everyone else as well, and that is not acceptable.

My other life long parenting strategy is to give as little information about what’s coming next as possible. There is nothing worse than everyone thinking they’re going to the library for a few hours and then have it not happen. So, we don’t tell them Anything and then, when its time to go, do a drill sergeant routine to get them dressed and in the car as suddenly as possible. It takes ten minutes and there’s no time for anyone to say, ‘Where are we going? Why are we going? What are you going to get me? Can I have a muffin? I’m hungry. I need to go to the bathroom. I don’t wannnaaaa go.’ If you go from lolling about playing to suddenly scrambling to get in the car, there is no anxiety about the future and no time to get something out of your mother. I also rarely give warning that someone is coming over to play because that way, if someone gets sick or cancels, I don’t have to hear about the horrible disappointment for the rest of the week.

three

Well, clearly, that should have been its own post. In possible later posts, How to Fail at Potty Training Every Single Time.

four

I have been longing to watch the Republican Convention but I honestly can’t stay up for it. Why on earth does the main stuff have to start so late? I go to sleep at 9 o’clock! I did watch Ann Romney yesterday afternoon to see what all the hype was about and…well….really. I’m not married to Mitt Romney. In no way do I want to go home from any dance with him. And this little American Experiment, to me, does not even remotely resemble a dance. I’m not looking for a candidate who will make me feel ‘safe’ or who will be the hardest worker ever, or who will relate to me personally. What on earth with the ‘relating personally’ factor. Even Anderson Cooper’s poor sad beautiful eyes as he tries to get his panel to figure out whether or not Romney is being ‘personal’ enough does not move me to care. To channel Mark Steyn, the modern world is coming to a fiscal end. Why isn’t everyone running around the stage tearing their clothes, pouring ash on their heads and wailing with repentance and fear? That, I would stay up to watch.

five

If this is true, it would be amazing. I used to throw my malaria prophylactic into the building site at my boarding school, hoping to get sick to avoid school banquets. I got sick often but never missed one of those difficult and uncomfortable evenings. In fact, one year, I fell horribly ill on a Monday before but then was well enough the night of and was forced to go. Still, I was gorgeously thin. Well, maybe not ‘gorgeous’, maybe more gaunt.

six

I guess I better get up and feed the ravenous pack. There wasn’t enough free bread at Shepherd’s Bowl so I’ll have to make pancakes instead of french toast. And we’re out of syrup so they’ll have to have jam or expensive golden syrup. And Romulus will cry because he would rather have ‘Hot Cereal’. And I will get angry because what kind of horrible little kid would rather have Cream of Wheat from a box than real pancakes.

seven

Yesterday I got up to find that Matt had not just given Alouicious a cup of coffee, but had given ALL THE CHILDREN COFFEE, including the baby.
“What” he said when I started crying, “they wanted to know what it tastes like.”
“BUT ITS ONLY 7:30 and ITS FULL OF CAFFINE.”
“Well” he said, “Its mostly milk and sugar.”
“SUGAR! BUT ITS ONLY 7:30 IN THE MORNING. I SHOULD STILL BE
SLEEPING.”
“Not with your new routine” he said, “You should have been up two hours ago.”

Have a great weekend and go check out Jen!

Life Going On

Jen's 7 quick takes

Previous Post

August 30, 2012

a canine interlude

Next Post

September 3, 2012 futility

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category books Catechesis of the Good Shepherd Children in Conversation culture watch Daily Devotions Demotivations with Anne faith alone for the grandparents GAFCON In conversation with children In the News Kitchen Notes Lambeth Learning Notes Life Going On Men are Human Notes from Home Pictures Reading the Bible Saturday Links Sermons Signs of the Apocalypse The Bad Word Association The Prayer of Jonah Travel Notes Uncategorized Witless Wednesdays Work and the Christian

Select a Month June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 July 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What book comes after Proverbs?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Daniel Psalms Isaiah Ecclesiastes

Books by This Author Books by Anne Kennedy

See All Titles »