Three Choices In Life. Definition, Destruction Or Strength

Last updated on: August 30, 2024 at 10:51 pm by Kathy King

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Three Choices In Life. Definition, Destruction Or Strength 2024-08-30T22:51:27-04:00 Kathy King

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The Gift of Three Choices

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Dr. Suess

Life with six kids has always been a blessing

Being a mother of six is always interesting. Particularly to girls. Everyone’s perspective is different about raising kids. I once told a friend, “Boys are easy, girls are hard to raise!” She completely disagreed with me, she thought boys were the pain and girls were angels. One of my girls’ recently went through a particularly painful break-up. The weeping and gnashing and renting of garments was acute. The moping and grief food abounded. Ice cream and ribs topped her list. She just could not understand why life had handed her such a painful card. “Will I love again!” This was one of the many phrases I heard during those first painful days. My mother’s heart did feel for her.

Part of parenting is letting our kids learn, even if it hurts

As my husband and myself watched her suffer the grief of her first serious break-up, he gave her some very wise words. He told her that for forty eight hours she could wallow, grieve, eat all the grief food she wanted, cry, scream, curse the sky and wonder what could have been different but after that, she needed to make the choice to learn from the situation and what could strengthen her. The feelings will still be there for some time but you are choosing to get up and choose strength. Choose to learn, choose to forgive the person no matter how hard because that forgiveness is for you. Not them. Forgiveness is strength. Unforgiveness destroys from within.

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Our family is fascinated by military history

One subject that is quite fascinating in our family is people who have served the United States in some capacity whether it is a Senator, a House of Representatives member or President. One such interest amongst our family is that of the late John McCain. He was most definitely an interesting and varied figure. The most notable portion of his life was his time as a prisoner of war during Vietnam. He flew many combat missions during this bloody war as a Naval Aviator. One mission he was shot down, he fractured several portions of his body from the ejection of the aircraft, he almost drowned and he was captured by the enemy. During that capture his shoulder was crushed and to top it off he was bayoneted by the enemy. He received no care and was taken to a Hanoi prison where he was beaten and tortured.

Mr. McCain was a brave soul

Only after the enemy realized that he was the son of an Admiral did he receive minimal care. After more torture he was put into solitary confinement for two years. Can you imagine? Never talking to a soul? Alone with your thoughts for two whole years? McCain was given favor because of his father’s position. He refused the favor unless his fellow prisoners were released. After this the abuse and torture escalated. He was bound for several hours at a time and beaten. He suffered from dysentery. You would think at this point he would have given up. He did reach a low point where he did consider suicide by the enemy stopped him. In one last act of desperation he released an anti-US statement. In later years he confessed that was one of his greatest regrets.

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In McCain’s weakness, he found strength

After a renewed sense of fortitude, he started to refuse to give any other anti-US statements. This earned him three beatings a day. Yet he did not give in. After over five years of captivity he was released to go home. We can only imagine the pain that he felt both in his soul, spirit and not to mention his body. Because of his injuries he was never able to raise his arms above his head again. Yet he returned to serve in the Navy. Later he had a pretty extensive political career.

McCain’s experience gave him strength

During the time when the US was fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, he had a pretty strong opinion of how prisoners of war were in the US custody as enemies. He knew that most likely the people that were captured probably did some pretty evil things but his experiences those decades before molded how he thought prisoners should be treated. I would wager to say, with all of McCain’s foibles in his life he chose to not let the situation he so bravely endured define him. Nor did he let the situation destroy him. He took the reins and let the situation strengthen him.

Our lives will, God willing, never come to this place of extreme severity but hopefully John McCain’s lesson of the power of the human spirit can spur us on in a mindset of strength.