Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Ponder Anew

Home
Evangelical
A Praise Band Parody: “Dear Lord, Please Stop Their ‘Singing'”

A Praise Band Parody: “Dear Lord, Please Stop Their ‘Singing'”

Last updated on: August 9, 2019 at 12:11 pm by Jonathan Aigner

A Praise Band Parody: “Dear Lord, Please Stop Their ‘Singing'” 2019-08-09T12:11:03-05:00 Jonathan Aigner

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

How Can We Stop Their “Singing“
Words: Jonathan Aigner
Tune: HOW CAN I KEEP FROM SINGING

The church was once a place of rest,
Of prayer, and chant, and preaching.
But then they sold the organ pipes
And hushed the choir’s singing.

The praise band whines, and beats their drums,
And all the while I’m thinking:
“Oh my dear God, what have we done?
How can we stop their ‘singing?'”

They hired a hipster with guitar,
Called him the “worship leader.”
He croons his vapid “worship” songs
With no clear rhyme or meter.

The praise band whines, and beats their drums,
And all the while I’m thinking:
“Oh my dear God, what have we done?
How can we stop their ‘singing?'”

His larynx rises with each note
Above the staff he’s belting.
I can’t help thinking to myself –
His skinny jeans are helping.

The praise band whines, and beats their drums,
And all the while I’m thinking:
“Oh my dear God, what have we done?
How can we stop their ‘singing?'”

Now church is just a rock concert,
No liturgy to lead us,
No ritual, nor reverence
No sacraments to feed us.

The praise band whines, and beats their drums,
And all the while I’m thinking:
“Oh my dear God, what have we done?
How can we stop their ‘singing?'”

The pastor says this is the way
To stop the youth from leaving –
But stop and take one look around,
It’s just the Boomers singing!

The praise band whines, and beats their drums,
And all the while I’m thinking:
“Oh my dear God, what have we done?
How can we stop their ‘singing?'”

The noise flows on in endless song,
Until the pastor’s preaching,
And then they start their song again,
Dear Lord, please stop their singing!

The praise band whines, and beats their drums,
And all the while I’m thinking:
“Oh my dear God, what have we done?
How can we stop their ‘singing?'”

Photo:
Some boomer priest, Flickr
Creative commons 2.0

Previous Post

July 2, 2019

SWBTS Update: Five Professors Terminated from School of Church Music

Next Post

September 18, 2019 One Side Entertains Itself, the Other Side Prays to Plants: Where's the Middle Ground?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Church of St. YouTube congregational singing congregational song contemporary critiques corporate worship Hymn of the Week hymn singing hymnody and hymnology hymns masturbatory worship Uncategorized worship Worship Quotes

Select a Month February 2023 January 2023 October 2022 September 2022 April 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 November 2019 September 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014

Follow Us!

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

According to James, if you show favoritism, what have you become?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Judges with evil thoughts Hypocrites Lawbreakers False teachers

Related posts from Ponder Anew

Hymn of the Day: Love Divine, All Loves...

Hymn of the Day: Christ, Whose Glory Fills...

Hymn of the Day: Where Cross the Crowded...

Hymn of the Day: Open Now Thy Gates...

TRENDING AT PATHEOS Evangelical

Creation as Secondary to Judgment

Creating is a most human act. A good canonical (classical) education will...

The REST of Your Life: A Creative Wrestles...

This week I had a conversation with a good friend from church....

Nuggets of Wisdom—Fall 2026

Every few months or so I like to share quotes that I...

How the author of the world's best hymn...

I've been working with John Newton for a while now. This makes...

Psalm 130 | Lectio Divina

Long before this Lectio Divina, Psalm 130 - the song - started...

What About the Trees? Another Living Parable

After I finished writing the last article about falling leaves as a...

view all Evangelical blogs

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Copyright 2008-2026, Patheos. All rights reserved.

Subscription Support Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In

Follow Patheos