Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Pia de Solenni

Home
Catholic
How To Make A Baby

How To Make A Baby

Last updated on: March 8, 2015 at 6:51 pm by Pia de Solenni

How To Make A Baby 2015-03-08T18:51:33-07:00 Pia de Solenni

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Let me share with you two articles that I never would have put together except for the very, very different ways in which they approach human procreation.

The New York Times had one of those #FirstWorld, first person narratives by the spouse of a lesbian couple desperate to get pregnant. As it turns out, a friend and her husband decide that they will donate his sperm to this woman and her spouse. The author flies out to collect the sperm and inseminate herself. Here’s how she describes the process of making a baby:

I had packed some corn-griddle cakes with black beans for Wilson [her sperm donor], thinking it could be funny but also seem like a sweet barter exchange. My friend kept the car purring at the curb as I paced outside Wilson’s stoop until he emerged, handed over the jar with its precious contents and gave me a quick hug. Then off we went, my friend peeling out as I pushed the jar under my shirt for warmth.

Back at her place, with my hips hoisted on pillows, I used an oral syringe to inseminate myself. Devoid of any sexual act, I felt like an amoeba trying to reproduce itself, or a teenager experimenting with a bizarre science project. I didn’t feel like an adult or mother. I certainly didn’t feel like this could ever result in a gorgeous, sweet baby. [Emphasis mine.]

Anyone who’s even the least familiar with my thoughts and views knows that I’m not a fan of assisted reproductive technologies (ART) and that I thoroughly agree with the teachings of the Catholic Church.

But this description was not written by me. It’s written by someone on board with the idea of separating procreation from sex.

The second article was in the National Catholic Reporter, written by Melinda Henneberger. The article investigates allegations that throughout the 1970s and into the 1990s children in Chile were stolen from the poor to be given to the rich, often with the help of Catholic institutions.

Can I believe it? Yep. The Catholic Church does not always execute her plans perfectly. She’s made up of fallible human beings who are also influenced by the surrounding culture. History is replete with examples of institutions, religious and governmental, deciding that they know better than the individuals in question.

Is it true? Possibly. We’ll see what comes out as the investigation proceeds.

But here’s what struck me about the article: the articulation of how new life is brought into the world.

One of the couples interviewed are Hernán and Rosa, a farm hand and a seasonal worker respectively, whose healthy twins supposedly died soon after birth. However, they were given no documentation and never saw the infants’ bodies, etc. They still hope that their sons are alive and that they might meet them despite potentially significant disparities in their socioeconomic status. Here’s the beautiful part, when their father describes how they came to be:

“They were created by love,” Hernán added softly.

I’m not saying that the lesbian couple does not experience love or that they do not love their son. However, the stories of how each family came to “make” their children is vastly different when you listen to their own words. These are their stories told in their own words, not mine.

I searched for the word “love” in the NYT story. Couldn’t find it. If you find that I’ve missed it let me know.

While hopefully motivated by love, I can’t get over the sort of mechanistic approach that the first couple engages in. In fact, the other spouse is not even present for the do-it-yourself insemination and a little of the tension that she might be feeling as the non-biological parent of her son comes out in the article.

Now, to be fair, there are plenty of heterosexual couples who go about making a baby in the same way. Those who struggle with infertility might seem pretty mechanical about the whole process of love making/sex even if they aren’t using ART. There are also those who create babies without even thinking about it or without being intentional in their expression of love for each other or for the children they might create.

But I remain struck by the articulation of the couple in Chile, the husband’s words, “They were created by love.” It’s pure St. John Paul II. He said that children deserved to be created as a result of love. [If you know the exact reference for this, do let me know!]

And, again, to be fair, the first couple would probably make a very compelling argument that their child was created by love, including the generosity of the donor couple. However, the author never uses the word “love” herself.

Two narratives about making a baby, set apart by decades, culture, socioeconomic status, and many other differences. But one rings truer to me because the creation of those children was a direct consequence of the marital expression of love between a husband and wife.

“They were created by love.”

Previous Post

October 31, 2014

Catholic League Tricked

Next Post

November 7, 2014 UPDATED: Did the Kenyan Bishops Just Expose WHO & UNICEF?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Articles Thinking Out Loud Uncategorized

Select a Month August 2016 July 2016 May 2016 March 2016 February 2016 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 September 2013 August 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 August 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 July 2007 October 1008

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What famous prayer did Jesus teach his followers?

Select your answer to see how you score.

The Hail Mary The Prayer of Jabez The Lord's Prayer The Jesus Prayer