You are You (And that’s Beautiful)

Last updated on: February 16, 2014 at 5:06 pm by Melissa

You are You (And that’s Beautiful) 2014-02-16T17:06:54-07:00 Melissa

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

We had just moved to a new state, and a new city. Haley had been officially living as herself and presenting as female full-time for only a few days. We made the chilly trek with the kids out to the store to pick out cell phones and sign up for a plan.

The person helping us was polite and sweet. He had long dark hair and a delicate face, after we clarified who was Melissa and who was Haley, he put out his hand and said brightly “So nice to meet you! My name is..” and then stuttered and seemed to glance down at the nametag attached to his shirt, finishing quietly “… John.” We got our phones, and left the shop, but both Haley and I had noticed the weird slip around the name, and wondered if there was more to the story.

Months later I was on the closing shift at work. A tall woman with long dark hair and a delicate face came in. She didn’t recognize me, but I knew her instantly. She seemed more confident than the last time I had seen her, and later as I walked past her table where she was sitting with her friends, I heard one of them call her “Jane”. I wondered if she still worked at the cell phone store. I wanted to give her a hug and tell her I was happy to see her. But I didn’t want to be weird.

He comes in to the shop with his small daughter on a fairly regular basis. He is short, wears a cap, and has a scruffy red beard. She shrieks with laughter when he makes silly faces for her, sings her ABCs loudly, and picks all the blueberries out of her muffin and eats them, leaving a plate full of crumbs. I wouldn’t know there is anything different about them, except the little girl still calls her daddy mom sometimes. And I remember those days where our kids still called Haley Daddy, and people would stare.

I want to tell them “I see you, and you are beautiful.”

Her hair is still short, but her gray dress and polka dotted tights are impeccable. A smile comes to my face as soon as I see her, she gives me an odd nervous look, and I look away, hoping that she didn’t think I was laughing at her, because sometimes people do that.

I want to tell her I remember those early days, Haley messing with her hair again and again. Asking if her outfit looks okay, stressing about going out in public and being so vulnerable. Hearing the store clerk call her “sir” and seeing her face fall. Having to listen to her wonder what it was that gave her away as being new to living as a girl.

And there were days I was tired of hearing it, and told her to stop worrying about how she looked. And there were other days that I would hug her and say “I see you Haley, and you are beautiful.”

So now when I see them, sometimes alone, sometimes surrounded by friends, I want to tell them, “Some days it takes incredible bravery just to get dressed and leave the house. Just know, that some people see you, are proud of you, and know you are beautiful.”

But I don’t always know how to say it.

So I say it here.

You are beautiful.

Previous Post

January 21, 2014

Life and Choice: Why Abortion Isn't What I Thought It Was

Next Post

February 22, 2014 Motherhood: Same and Different

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Abuse Atheist/Agnostic Conservative Christianity Depression Discipline Education Encouragement Feminism God Healing LGBTQ Life Marriage My Childhood Parenting Politics Reflections Series Shame Uncategorized Updates Who Am I

Select a Month September 2015 May 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 September 2013 August 2013 June 2013 May 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What king was known for writing many proverbs?

Select your answer to see how you score.

David Saul Hezekiah Solomon