Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Permission to Live

Home
Nonreligious
Dreams and Memories

Dreams and Memories

Last updated on: October 7, 2014 at 4:09 pm by Melissa

Dreams and Memories 2014-10-07T16:09:57-06:00 Melissa

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I have a small treasure box. I bought myself while on a trip with my grandparents. Besides my journals and my teddy bear, it holds pretty much everything I considered special to me from childhood.

Some of it is just memories. I have the collar from the dog I loved. And a feather from one of the chickens we had on the farmette we lived on for 2 years. I loved living there, that was when we still went to church, participated in a homeschool co-op, and I was free to be a kid.

I have the memory cards from both of my grandpa’s funerals. And a shell from one of the bullets fired in the twenty-one gun salute at my the funeral of my grandpa who was in the Korean war.

But some of it has different meaning.

I have a scrap of paper with a bible verse:

Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

I don’t remember where got the paper, I think from a ladies bible meeting my mom went to. I do remember why I kept it. I wanted it to remind me not to be “prideful” and to always think of others instead of myself. I saved it to keep myself from having selfish ambitions like getting an education, or having interests outside of the home.

I have the two thank you notes I received as a child. (You never know how much those things mean to someone, especially when one is very rarely thanked.)

I have a sand dollar my grandma gave to me, and the ticket for the Ferris wheel at Navy Pier, from when my grandparents brought me there.

I have the stub of my plane ticket from when I was allowed to go to journalism camp. I have the ticket to the public school play my pen pal was in. I have the stub from the first of few the movies I was allowed to go to without my parents.

In short, I kept evidence of pretty much everything I was ever allowed to participate in outside of the home.

I have a small candle inside a tin (it fits in the palm of my hand) that I won as a prize for getting my short story published in a child’s nature magazine. I was so thrilled to be published. I remember I won a pencil as well, but I gave it away to the neighbor girl who I desperately wanted to be friends with.

I have jewelry.

A Navajo bracelet my grandma gave to me, that I was ashamed to admit I liked. My favorite leather bracelet from when I was 6, I loved it and wore it every day until it would no longer snap around my wrist. The necklace I loved as a young teen but felt foolish for wearing. The bracelet with little coins, each with one of the ten commandments engraved on it. My dad said it was to flashy to wear. Most jewelry wasn’t considered modest, so I rarely wore it, just once in a while while I was in my bedroom.

And I have this cover of a TV guide that I saved from when I was 16. I’m not sure why I saved it, I remember I thought she was beautiful, and I wished I could look like her.

I have a little handwritten note that I wrote for my mom when I was twelve. I remember I wrote it because I wanted her to be happy and pleased with me.

” What I want to be: By Me”

*“I love cooking, baking, writing, reading, taking care of hurt people and cleaning things. And sewing and crafts. I want to be a mother with lots of children to love and take care of. And a husband to help, respect and love. I want to be a servant of the Lord always. I want to love God with all my heart, soul, and mind all my life. I want to trust my life in the Lord’s care. This is what I want to be when I grow up, a keeper at home that has a beautiful soul.”*

It was all I was allowed to be, and I was already figuring that out by twelve years old.

It’s funny the memories that come back looking through a little box or treasures saved from childhood.

PS. Thank you so much for all of your wonderful comments and encouragement on the “Fun Mom” post. I would love to respond to all the comments, but I don’t have the time or energy lately. Just know that they are greatly appreciated, and that anyone who has struggled with feeling like a good enough mom should read through them. 🙂

Conservative Christianity

My Childhood

Who Am I

Homeschooling

Previous Post

June 21, 2011

The Fun Mom

Next Post

June 27, 2011 Lies we tell ourselves about abuse

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Abuse Atheist/Agnostic Conservative Christianity Depression Discipline Education Encouragement Feminism God Healing LGBTQ Life Marriage My Childhood Parenting Politics Reflections Series Shame Uncategorized Updates Who Am I

Select a Month September 2015 May 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 September 2013 August 2013 June 2013 May 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

In Revelation, what do the souls under the altar cry out for?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Peace on earth Justice and vengeance for their blood Mercy for their persecutors The return of Christ