Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Peace and Pekoe

Home

Home
Catholic
At The Personalist Project: Can Men and Women Be Friends?

At The Personalist Project: Can Men and Women Be Friends?

Last updated on: April 6, 2017 at 12:38 pm by Kate Cousino

At The Personalist Project: Can Men and Women Be Friends? 2017-04-06T12:38:44-04:00 Kate Cousino

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Image CC0 License, via https://www.pexels.com/photo/people-photography-of-man-and-woman-sitting-on-green-grass-field-169927/

A couple of days ago, a writer at The Federalist went on a “just-kidding-but-not-really” rant about how the “friend zone” is dooming Western Civilisation and how it is all women’s fault for thinking men actually want female friendship in the first place.

Unable to resist the opportunity to both rip down some idiocy and explore the nature of friendship, I spent the last day reading up and preparing a response, which is now up at The Personalist Project in two parts.

From Part One:

The author’s argument can be summarised thus:

“Americans need to raise our sagging birth rates.”

To reverse this, young men and women need to marry earlier.

Friendship is transactional, and women need to understand that “There’s only one thing you can give his man friends can’t,” and this means “You don’t have any guy friends. You can’t have any guy friends.”

Conclusion: Women need to reverse the waning birth rate by either dumping or marrying their male friends.

Along the way, the author paints a picture of male friendship that is stuck at the preschool level of parallel play. And that’s being generous. At one point the author describes friendship as “a good that people acquire in exchange for the currency of their time.” That’s not far from a toddler’s definition of a friend as “someone whose toys I like.”

From Part Two:

There is little difference between the man who befriends you only because he “wants to convince you to open up the supply chain of a romantic relationship to him” and the childhood friend who only wanted to spend time with you if he could use your new NES game system.

Read the rest at The Personalist Project.

What do you think? Is friendship with people of the opposite sex worth the trouble it might occasionally entail? Is the “friend-zone” a real thing, and if it is, is it a bad thing? I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts.

Image CC0 License, via https://www.pexels.com/photo/people-photography-of-man-and-woman-sitting-on-green-grass-field-169927/

The Personalist Project

Previous Post

April 4, 2017

Should your teenage daughter learn NFP?

Next Post

April 11, 2017 When marriage hurts

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category ADHD Blog Business Body and Soul Books Faith Faith in Action Family Feminism Fertility Awareness Friendship Geekiness Guest Post History Hope Just For Fun Love Marriage Memory Mental Exercise Movies Parenting Personalism Poetry Prayer Quotes Scripture Seven Quick Takes Striving for Holiness Television The Stories We Tell The World Uncategorized

Select a Month September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 August 2016 June 2016 March 2016 January 2016 November 2015 October 2015 August 2015 July 2015 May 2015 April 2015 February 2015 December 2014 November 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 August 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 November 2009 October 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

I come in nine varieties including joy, peace, and self-control. What am I?

Select your answer to see how you score.

The fruit of the Spirit The gifts of the Spirit Spiritual blessings The works of righteousness

Support this
Column