Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Peace and Pekoe

Home

Home
Catholic
A blanket apology…

A blanket apology…

Last updated on: January 31, 2017 at 2:40 pm by Kate Cousino

A blanket apology… 2017-01-31T14:40:03-04:00 Kate Cousino

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

…to everybody I have ever given advice to as though I know anything at all about anything.

No, I’m not depressed or getting down on myself. I am, however, realizing how much I have let pride and insecurity (nice combo, right?) drive my actions, decisions, and words over my lifetime.

I’m writing it here so that I will be able to find these words again when I need them:

My value is not dependent on being right.

My value is not dependent on my performance as daughter, mother, wife, friend, mentor, teacher, writer, homemaker, or student.

My value is not dependent on whether I am living the ‘good life’ my peers, community, Church or family wish for me or for themselves.

My value is not dependent on having made the best decisions possible in the past, my decisions now or my decisions in the future.

My value is not dependent on whether others think well of me, admire me, emulate me, respect me, or seek me out. It is not dependent on the love or esteem of my spouse, children, parents, community, pastor, friends, neighbors, strangers or people on the internet.

My value as a person is not dependent on whether I succeed in living out those values I have embraced in the past, embrace now, or will embrace in the future.

I am not a better, holier, or even more fortunate person for having been a SAHM, a homeschooler, a cloth diaperer, a co-sleeper, a home birther, or any other label or lifestyle. Labels apply to positions and preferences, not to people.

Corollaries: I am not so important. My children’s entire future does not depend on having an ideal childhood now. My husband’s happiness is not my responsibility. I do not have the ability to choose good or evil for another person. I cannot save others by pretending to be more, or less, than I am. I am not the Saviour.

So what is important? Where do I find my value and purpose?

In Being.

I guess I’m a slow learner, but maybe it won’t take too many more lessons to really learn the truth in this: I am a Child of God. My substance subsists in His substance. My Being is contingent on His BEing. My value derives from my origins and my destiny: I come from HIM, I live to return to HIM.

Nothing else counts. The rest is all….window dressing. Means to an end. Yes, I want to live a good life – but it is only a good life if it helps me to pick up all of the scattered remnants of myself to offer to Him.

“Man cannot fully find himself except through the sincere gift of self.” (John Paul II, Gaudium et Spes 24). There’s a conundrum in this – how can you give what you have not yet found? But surely I cannot find myself by hiding behind labels, abilities, occupation, even vocation. And how can I give myself to others when I am still defending my insecurities, fear, and pride?

So. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the times I’ve judged someone else for their choices, mistakes and sins, for any time I’ve withheld mercy and compassion. I’m sorry for every time I have offered my own ‘wisdom’ when I should have just listened. I’m sorry to everyone I have tried to fix, everyone I have tried to teach what I have not yet succeeded in learning.

I’m sorry for the times I have boasted of my own successes or talents, or indulged in self-pity over my failures and shortcomings. I’m sorry for the times I have defended myself when I should have been humble or, worse, pretended a false humility in order to ‘take the higher ground’ in my own estimation.

Please forgive me and be patient with me.

Striving for Holiness

The Stories We Tell

humility

Previous Post

December 2, 2010

Book Review - The Boys Upstairs

Next Post

January 5, 2012

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category ADHD Blog Business Body and Soul Books Faith Faith in Action Family Feminism Fertility Awareness Friendship Geekiness Guest Post History Hope Just For Fun Love Marriage Memory Mental Exercise Movies Parenting Personalism Poetry Prayer Quotes Scripture Seven Quick Takes Striving for Holiness Television The Stories We Tell The World Uncategorized

Select a Month September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 August 2016 June 2016 March 2016 January 2016 November 2015 October 2015 August 2015 July 2015 May 2015 April 2015 February 2015 December 2014 November 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 August 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 November 2009 October 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which river did Naaman wash in to be healed of leprosy?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Euphrates River Arnon River Nile River Jordan River

Support this
Column