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Are Children Really Sponges for Discipleship?

Are Children Really Sponges for Discipleship?

Last updated on: January 20, 2025 at 4:14 pm by Joy Wendling, MA

Are Children Really Sponges for Discipleship? 2025-01-20T16:14:24-08:00 Joy Wendling, MA

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Children are capable of more than absorbing facts. | Photo by Joy Wendling.

Have you ever heard the expression “Children are like sponges.”? This idea has made its way into how we nurture the faith of children and I don’t believe it is helping them to develop an authentic relationship with Jesus. It may help them learn some facts and memorize Scripture, but is it creating an ideal environment for them to own their faith? Are children sponges for discipleship?

Sponges for Brains?

“But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.’” Matthew 19:14 NLT

While the phrase “children are like sponges” is meant to imply that children are able to learn and absorb a lot from those around them and their environment, I don’t think it quite gives the full picture of what children are capable of.

Children are able to do much more than absorb. Sponges don’t do anything with what is poured into them. They simply hold onto the liquid poured into them.

This seems to be where we as Christian parents often get stuck. We simply pour into our children the facts, ideas, stories, and doctrines we want them to know and believe.

But, children are capable of more than absorbing and retaining facts. And, discipleship is more than pouring facts, information, and doctrine into someone else.

If Not Sponges, Then What?

“When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” 1 Corinthians 13:11NLT

So if children aren’t just empty sponges for us to pour into, what are our children? Our children are image-bearers capable of authentic relationships with Jesus.

Their brains are developed through curiosity, wonder, and repetition. These are be achieved through play.

God isn’t concerned about your children having mature, adult relationships with him. He created them as children. God intentionally designed childhood.

He entered into childhood himself to fully show us his love and meet us where we are.

By nurturing our children’s faith the way they learn best, we model the incarnation.

Discipleship That Doesn’t Pour Into an Empty Vessel

“You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.

You do not want a burnt offering.

The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.

You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.”

Psalm 51:16-17 NLT

When we stop at telling our kids what to think about God and the Bible, we sacrifice their ability to engage their faith and doubts critically. We limit their ownership of their faith for the sake of our control over what we understand to be right.

Instead of teaching our children what to think and facts about the Bible, what do we as Christian parents do to teach our children?

Play – Let your children experiment and get hands-on with their faith and their wonderings.
Ask Questions – Listen more than you talk. Jesus did much of his teaching ministry through thoughtful questions.
Model – Live out your faith and the abundant life in an inviting way for your children.

There is no multiple choice test our children need to know the answers to for eternal life, there is simply a Savior that loves them and welcomes them just as they are that they need to know personally.

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About Joy Wendling, MA

Enthusiastic. Passionate. Profound. Joy Wendling is a family pastor, writer, speaker, podcaster, certified parent coach, and founder of Created to Play. She has over 20 years of experience in children, youth, and family ministry, as well as a Master’s in Youth, Family, and Culture from Fuller Theological Seminary. She also is certified in Connected Families Parent Coaching and Parenting for Faith. Her idea of relaxing is gazing at the mountains from her island home with an ice-cold Diet Coke and a good book. Joy lives in the Pacific Northwest and enjoys laughing and playing with her five daughters and husband. You can read more about the author here.

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