Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, Part II

Last updated on: June 5, 2014 at 7:43 am by Tim Suttle

Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, Part II 2014-06-05T07:43:26-06:00 Tim Suttle

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I’m reading Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard, and continuing to reflect upon the nature of prayer and the presence of God. If you dive into this work, you have to know Dillard spends an inordinate amount of the book reflecting on the minutiae of the ordinary–the intricate details of nature of which she is an astute student. It’s a contemplative thing to read her work, so you kinda have to be in the mood.

Nevertheless, it did win the 1975 Pulitzer, so you know there’s something there worth your time to investigate. Larry Freundlich, the editor in chief at Harper’s, who published the book, said after reading PATK for the first time: “I never expected to see a manuscript this good in my life.” You can tell from the first sentence that you are reading something unlike most works. Still, I would love to know how many people have started reading PATK and put it down after fifteen minutes saying, “What the hell was that?”

As I read today I was struck by her portrayal of the wildness of creation. Creation is untamed, and there is something of the nature of God in this unbridled power. Those who seek to be still among the roiling creation must know that they are, at least in a sense, working against nature–at least the part of nature we are built out of. This kind of interaction–stillness, silence, solitude amongst the amoral wild and free wilderness–surely has its dangers. It can inspire a kind of madness to chase the horizon.

Dillard tells this story about Eskimos who sit silently in their kayaks waiting for the seals to surface in the water of Greenland’s fjords, water so still it looks like a sheet of glass. The mirror-like water reflects a vivid sky that sometimes becomes so bright and life like that the world seems upside down. The effect is dizzying, even paralyzing to some, and they often fall right into the water out of fear and disorientation. Too much light. In others it causes a panic so debilitating that, for those who are prone to it, they cannot go back into the water; which means they cannot feed their families.

Dillard’s point is a good one. We need to be at least a little bit careful about what we hope to experience, and especially about what we claim to be experiencing. We must be wise in considering the lengths to which we will go in order to see God. We cannot will ourselves into a trance and call that flying. We cannot decide we would like a special manifestation of God’s presence, and then set about conjuring it up. About all we can do is creep to the edge of the canyon and watch the sun just before it comes up. Stare too long and you will probably go blind.

“The vision comes and goes, mostly goes,” she writes. Most of the time we can’t see God, we can only see where God was. For me the real question this leaves me with is, why? Why does it go? What possible good could there be to having the vision of God go? Maybe it is because too much of a good thing can be our undoing. Perhaps we were not meant to gaze into the abyss unless we’ve made our bed, brushed our teeth, put our dishes away, and chopped the wood. Partly because this is not the center of the human vocation, and partly because we are not equipped with the kind of faculties it would require for too much of this good thing. It’s just that dizzying, that paralyzing.

I have often watched as people set off on their path toward God forgetting the reality of fits and starts. Forgetting that we have a lousy innate sense of direction that often gets turned around and confused. We are prone to becoming so lost that we are not clear about which way is up, and which way is down. We’re apt to choose the wrong one at the wrong time, even for all the right reasons.

“The vision comes and goes, mostly goes, but I live for it.” What I take this to mean is not that God gets off on being withholding. It’s just that too much seeing would be our undoing. We would become overconfident and start to play God. This is one of the two ways humanity always disintegrates. Either we start to worship creation, or we start to think we are God.

Yet in the rare and precious flashes of brilliance in which we catch a glimpse of the divine, there is a lasting power. Part of why we know that the presence of God is rare is because it marks us so indelibly. Dillard describes her experience as a “seeing” for the first time in a way she had never before seen, and although the experience is rare, its impact lasts for awhile. “The flood of fire abated,” she writes, “but I’m still spending the power.” (p.33)

The type of encounter with God Annie Dillard is describing is anything but mundane. We cannot experience this sort of seeing, this sort of presence every single day. So we cannot engage our prayer practices and spiritual disciplines as though we will. You cannot force God’s hand. Ask the prophets of Baal who danced and wailed and cut themselves only to find their god sleeping through it. You cannot trick God into showing up with a perfect lotus position, a nature walk, contemplative prayer, yoga, LSD, or whatever your game. It doesn’t work like that. We need do those things which help us to clean the muck off our soul, to prepare our hearts to receive God’s presence when it shows up in power. But we are not the light we are the mirror. We are not the One, we are the reflection of the One. So most of the time when we pray it feels like nothing is happening. We need to learn to be okay with that. More is happening that we could ever imagine. Dillard might be the best in the world at teaching that very reality.

Uncategorized

Annie Dillard

Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

Prayer

Previous Post

June 4, 2014

Easter 7A - The Ascension of Christ: Acts 1:6-14

Next Post

June 6, 2014 What Was Your Worst Summer Job Ever?: Jimmy Fallon's Hashtags

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category abortion corruption Donald Trump elections Empire Entertainment Ezra Klein ideology Justice Lacan politics race Sports Ta-Nehisi Coates Uncategorized

Select a Month September 2026 March 2026 September 2025 March 2025 June 2024 January 2024 December 2023 May 2023 February 2023 October 2022 April 2022 March 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 September 2020 July 2020 June 2020 March 2020 September 2019 July 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 August 2010 July 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What was the primary currency in biblical times?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Silver shekels Copper Gold coins Bronze