Monday Morning Confessional: Why Is There Always Something Wrong With Me?

Last updated on: September 10, 2012 at 10:23 am by Tim Suttle

Monday Morning Confessional: Why Is There Always Something Wrong With Me? 2012-09-10T10:23:25-06:00 Tim Suttle

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Since the move to Patheos a lot of new readers have found their way to Paperback Theology. I thought it might be a good idea to explain Monday Morning Confessional a little bit. Confession is an imprecise yet powerful spiritual discipline. It’s one of those practices we have to just force into our routine by sheer discipline. We do it whether we feel like doing it or not, and every once in awhile – by the grace of God – we stumble into something honest, healing, and transformational. With that in mind I confess here every Monday Morning for all the world to read. I do so in the hopes that 1) every once in awhile I’ll be set free by my confession, and 2) my readers will begin to join in the weekly discipline of confession; because, whether you realize it or not, you need to do this.

So I make my confession here, in the hopes that you will make yours:

I confess that, out of habit, I write my blog pieces in Microsoft Word. I always write in Word because I can edit and maneuver the piece so much more quickly in the software I know. I confess that when I cut and paste it into my blog there are, inexplicably, missing spaces between words. Tons of them; scores of them. I confess that I’m annoyed by this, and by my inability to find a work around. I confess that this makes for too much proofreading for formatting errors on the blog… which is not my strong suit… ugh.

I confess that the above confession reminds me of the inferiority complex I have regarding “mac” people. I have never been a mac person, I’m a pc user. I use a $350 ASUS laptop with zero aesthetic appeal. I confess that I am jealous of mac users, their cool looking machines, their apple stickers they put on their journals and notebooks, their secret handshake fraternity, and let’s just be honest… their crazy-long battery life. I wish that I could afford the hardware, and the time to make the switch. But I’ve become efficient in my clunky pc world. Is this what it feels like to be obsolete?

I confess that I’ve been writing about politics on Paperback Theology lately because part of what I agreed to do when I moved the blog to Patheos was to write about politics. I confess that I know this is hurtful to some people, especially my friends who are conservatives. I confess that I wish it didn’t have to be this hard. The truth is that I’m trying to stay in a place where I never feel a part of a political party. I feel like my allegiance to Jesus and the kingdom of God usurps any authority that a political party could ever have over my life. I confess that the most painful part for me is that I am a conserver at heart – it’s my bent. I’m not a Democrat. I’m a conservative guy. It’s how I dress, how I act, how I read the scriptures, and how I think. I’ve always been a registered Republican and have hardly ever voted for a Democrat in over 20 years of voting. I confess that I really want to live at peace with people on both sides of the political spectrum, but I fear that giving complete and total allegiance to Christ means that I will bug everyone who has a strong loyalty to either political party. I confess that I pray that my friends will have grace and patience with me as I pursue faithfulness above all else… all else.

I confess that I am heading up to Conception Abbey for the first part of this week to retreat with my friends from the AMO, and to pray with the monks. I confess that my favorite part of the Abby is the silence. I confess that when I go to retreat, I feel like I am running away.

I confess that in confession I am trying to express something that cannot be put into words. There is simply something wrong with me that I cannot explain or fix on my own. I confess that I am so very grateful to be caught up in the love of God. I pray that God’s love will make me more loving toward my fellow human beings, and that I’ll learn how to live in compassion instead of judgment.

Okay peoples… I made my confession. Now it’s time for you to make yours!

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