My Sun Sets to Rise Again

Last updated on: December 24, 2015 at 12:59 pm by Star Foster

My Sun Sets to Rise Again 2015-12-24T12:59:08-04:00 Star Foster

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I am writing from a hospital bed on a phone. Please forgive typos.

I went to the emergency room early Tuesday morning, was admitted, and had a surgery scheduled. Very much a surprise and very unexpected. I am on the other side of surgery now, recovering well, and hoping to go home today.

In the hours before surgery I absolutely contemplated my mortality. No matter how routine, surgery is scary business and there is always a tiny chance things will go wrong. I hastily scribbled some information and brief final arrangements to friends, told people I loved them, and then went into pre-op.

Constantine’s deathbed conversion is famous, and I have always been curious what my reaction to facing mortality would be. When no one but the Gods are looking and your soul is on the line, who do you turn to? What is your plea? Do you revert to the faith of your childhood? Do you abandon faith and embrace nothingness? Do you embrace conversion to a new religion? Do you dig deep into the faith you have been devoted to?

Prior to this week, I did not know the answer to this question myself. But as I lay in pre-op waiting to be taken into the operating room, my heart was clear and earnest.

Sobbing, I pleaded with Hermes to carry me to Elysium, so the Dread Queen could carry my love to family and friends each spring as Kore.

Thankfully, Hermes made no special trips for me. But I have my answer. I am satisfied with it.

“Mercury and Argos” by
Abraham Hondius. From WikiMedia.

When the spiritual volunteer came by and asked my faith I gave her a bad elevator speech fogged by drugs with bits of the Tenets of Solon tossed in with an emphasis on prayer and ethics. “Is there a God in your belief system?”, she asked. “Multiple!” I said cheerfully. Although she was surprised by my response, I think she might have Googled Hellenic polytheism whrn she got home. At any rate we had a pleasant chat.

So I have been sick, and not writing, but I am better now. I have had spiritual confusion and distress but I am surprised at the peace and clarity that facing the possibility of death brought about. And despite every Heliogenna (solstice) plan falling through, I am glad for my own dark night and brighter dawn.

My sun sets to rise again.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Previous Post

December 13, 2015

Meeting the Gods on Their Terms

Next Post

January 10, 2016 Solon's Tenets: Integrity, Not Oaths

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category alexandrian asatru astrology ATW Audio books btw ceremonial magick chaos classics community conversion cosmology dianic discordian druid dvd eclectic equinox ethics family feri festivals film Fully Inclusive Events gardnerian gender issues glbt heathen hellenismos history humor initiation interfaith magick meditation Military movies music mysticism myth networking news Open Thread Pagan Pagan 101 Paganism passings polytheism Polytheistic Religion polytheology praxis Reading List religio romana review ritual sabbats santeria service solstice symbols tools values wicca witchcraft

Select a Month July 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

True or False: Nehemiah was a cupbearer to King Nebuchadnezzar.

Select your answer to see how you score.

FALSE TRUE