Is Traditional Masculinity Ostracized?

Last updated on: May 26, 2010 at 11:05 am by Star Foster

Is Traditional Masculinity Ostracized? 2010-05-26T11:05:17-04:00 Star Foster

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There was a Pagan elder in my kitchen yesterday, and he gave me a good bit to think about. I’d written previously on a perceived gender bias in Paganism and found myself pondering the topic again after he left.

The majority of Pagans came to Pagan religions from a decidedly patriarchal religion. For most people it’s a relief to find an empowering multi-faceted vision of Sacred Feminine and it tends to become “that which separates us from other religions”. The momentum of the Goddess movement can carry us too far, into a realm where the masculine is seen as threatening and dangerous.

It’s especially apparent in Wicca the tendency to be reactive against other views of gender and religion, rather than embracing the balance inherent in most Pagan religions. This subtle power struggle goes all the way back to Gerald and Doreen, when Gardner tried to limit the power of the priestess with his Craft laws. The thing is, it’s hard to wrap your mind around the concept of gender in balance. We’ve all acquired a lot of baggage when it comes to gender roles and discussion of it can easily become politically charged.

I tend to think of the God and Goddess of Witchcraft as a married couple moving a long, awkward, heavy sofa. If one of them tries to take forceful control of the situation someone is going to get hurt. If neither of them takes the lead, someone is going to get hurt. However, if one of them guides and the other follows, if both are carrying the weight between them equally, then the sofa gets moved without smashed fingers and toes. That’s what we mean by the God half of the year and the Goddess half of the year, because at some point one of them is guiding the sofa backwards down a bend in a staircase and the other is following them, supporting them in the great “sofa moving” called the Wheel of the Year.

The truth of the matter is, whether your are gay, straight or bi, it takes both men and women to make the world go around. Not even in a biological sense, although that’s obviously very important. Our very gifts and energies are different and necessary for our everyday lives and, here’s the kicker, they are not interchangeable.

I’m not dissing transgender people here. One of the finest geek girls I know was born male, but her identity and energy is decidedly female. That’s not the issue. There is a place for feminine female energy in the Craft, as is there a place for masculine female energy and feminine male energy. We feel comfortable with these energies. Woman with traditionally female traits are admired. Women who exhibit traditionally male traits are respected. Men who exhibit traditionally female traits are embraced.

When men exhibit traditionally male traits, it’s generally seen as threatening. Just consider the way the God of Witchcraft is portrayed. Consider your reaction to the descriptions of the Horned God below. Do you find them unappealing?

Rough. Sweaty. Aggressive. Abrupt. Boastful. Uncouth. Gruff. Crass. Blunt. Forthright. To the point. Threatening. Practical. Defensive. Horny. Rational. Unsympathetic. Forceful. Insistent. Reasoning. Unrelenting. Aloof. Impersonal. Undemonstrative. Musky. Hairy. Logical. Violent. Combative. Belligerent.Fierce. Ferocious. Explosive. Warlike. Deadly. Pragmatic. Virile.

Are you turned off? Do you find these descriptions distasteful? Why? There is nothing wrong with each of these words on their own, and used to describe a Goddess tends to soften them. The Morrigan is violent, unrelenting, combative, warlike and threatening yet many Pagans worship her. Baubo is rough, crass and insistent but we love that she made Demeter laugh and saved the world with her raunchy humor.

The ancient Gods were described in such terms. Zeus is a horny, aggressive undemonstrative God. Lugh is boastful, insistent and logical. Vulcan is sweaty, unsympathetic and fierce. Thor is deadly and ferocious.

Why do we prefer the lithe, gentle, mystical bardic greenman over the rough, pragmatic, reasoning aggressive Gods? Aren’t they both the Divine Male?

Modern Pagans have gone a long way to embrace all aspects of the feminine. Which is why women find the Craft so empowering. Has Paganism embraced all aspects of the male? I don’t think so.

Many Pagan groups are full of women and gay men, and any straight men that are participating are generally married to a woman in the group. It almost makes you wonder if some men feel they need to be with a woman in order to be acceptable to the community. As if men must remained within a box that the Pagan community has made for them. The joke is that single straight men are unicorns in Paganism: everyone has heard of them but few have seen them.

Do we create a welcoming environment for traditionally masculine men? If we don’t, are we truly embracing all aspects of the God? Are we embracing all aspects of ourselves? Are we creating a supportive spiritual framework for our children? If we consider the traditionally masculine traits as undesirable will our sons be able to speak of their accomplishments with pride? Fend off bullies? Cut through the fluff to the heart of the matter? Feel they must force an emotional response? Be ashamed of the rough hairiness of the male body? Will our daughters consider men to be nothing more than bumbling, stupid sitcom characters?

I’m a feminist and I’m most certainly not anti-female, but I feel there’s an imbalance to be redressed if our Craft is to survive. I feel we are on the precipice of a divide, with “feminine religions” and “masculine religions” with little common ground between. I don’t think there should be one unified Pagan religion, but I enjoy the fact that we form a loose collective that supports and interacts with each other in meaningful ways.

We should be embracing all of our humanity, not ostracizing an element we find threatening. As above, so below equates to as without, so within. If we dismiss that which is traditionally male in our culture and religion, then we are denying a part of our own soul.

Links that I thought were interesting, although I didn’t entirely agree with them:

Feminism Within Paganism

Pagan Earth Worship Suppresses The Masculine

Real men In Wicca where are they?

King, Warrior, Magician, Lover

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