Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Orthodixie

Home
Eastern Orthodox
He’s the Little Priest of My Single Wide Mission

He’s the Little Priest of My Single Wide Mission

Last updated on: June 11, 2009 at 5:34 am by Fr. Joseph Huneycutt

He’s the Little Priest of My Single Wide Mission 2009-06-11T05:34:00-05:00 Fr. Joseph Huneycutt

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I don’t follow Country Music (or any popular music) these days, and I was never a Sammy Kershaw fan. But, when I saw this picture of a railroad car converted into an Orthodox Chapel, that song “She’s the Little Queen of My Double Wide Trailer” came to mind.

We once converted a three car garage into a very nice little Orthodox “temple” — complete with blue onion dome — which looked surprisingly similar to the one pictured here.

Our first Divine Liturgy in that space was on Pentecost Sunday, 1996 — before the renovation. In other words, we “did church” in an honest to goodness garage. With no air conditioning (and how many three car garages have windows?), we had to serve the Liturgy with the garage doors rolled up, wide open.

As is always the case, but especially under such circumstances, the celebrant keeps one eye on the Chalice for uninvited communicants. The flies — be the wine consecrated or other — are just plain gluttons. Lacking basic table manners, much less piety, they end up diving in and usually drowning. [Remember, in a previous post, when I said that the Chalice won’t hurt you? This does not pertain to flies.]

On this particular day, obviously due to the joy of the moment (in a new space and all), I failed. That is, just before lifting the Chalice to my lips I peeked in to see … not one … not two … not four … but …

FIVE

… five comatose flies floating on the top of the consecrated wine.

I struggled, I gasped. I was aghast. Priests are taught that whatever is in the consecrated Cup must be consumed. At that particular moment, please forgive me, I quickly came up with Plan B. That is, I took the spoon and fished out the little fellas and laid them on a spare napkin. I thought, in my slight panic, that I would deal with them later, after communing the faithful.

I communed the faithful.

When I returned to the altar, the drunk swimmers were, gasp again, gone.

Now, here’s where an overly scrupulous young priest’s imagination can run wild:

“Okay … I’m supposed to consume those flies … I’m responsible … There’s a fly flying by my head now! Is that one of them? Should I eat him? How do I know he’s one of the five? Good Lord. This is crazy. WWJD? Stop it! Wait. Was there really five of them? Stop it!“

Then, I spotted him …

The Subdeacon.

He was returning to the altar (through the wide open garage door) slapping and rubbing his hands together, big grin on his 80 year old face: “Flies,” he said. “I took care of them.”

There’s no point to this little story … Just a thank you to all who appreciate this site and voted it, once again, Funniest in the annual Eastern Christian New Media Awards contest.

But, I dunno, looking at that picture (above) and thinking it all over, especially with Country Music in mind … Who knows what flies are thinking?

“I hear that Church a-comin’ … It’s comin’ ’round the bend … and I ain’t been to Communion, since, I don’t know when …”

(Thanks to Jimmy Midland, with apologies to Johnny Cash and Sammy Kershaw.)

Pic Source

Uncategorized

Previous Post

June 10, 2009

SmallTown Heroes, Orthodox Evangelism, and You

Next Post

June 14, 2009 BREAKING NEWS: Antiochian Bishop Smiles!

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month November 2016 October 2016 August 2016 May 2016 April 2016 January 2016 September 2015 August 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which disciple was known as "the beloved"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

John Matthew Andrew Peter