Yes, you can boycott Valentine’s Day and still live happily ever after – here’s how!

Last updated on: February 12, 2015 at 1:29 pm by Jennifer Fancher

Yes, you can boycott Valentine’s Day and still live happily ever after – here’s how! 2015-02-12T13:29:00-05:00 Jennifer Fancher

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The other day, I saw a survey asking if cut flower arrangements are worth it. Most women said the thought was nice, but cut flowers seemed wasteful. They would have preferred potted plants or other gestures of romance.

It got me thinking.

When my husband Trent and I were first dating, we did the typical exchanges you make when trying to woo someone. However, early on in our relationship, we confessed our dislike for the over-commercialized holiday. As a joke, we started celebrating after the holiday, when everything was 70% off – just to stick it the the consumerism, man.

But the survey about flowers got me to thinking and I realized this, startling fact:

We don’t exchange Valentine gifts anymore.

Don’t get me wrong! We’re not against romantic notions. Not to be braggadocious, but we’re that couple most of our friends envy. (Friends who wrinkle their nose at our affection to perhaps camouflage their desire for that very thing.) Our love is something I’ve never experienced before and something I cherish.

But I just realized we don’t exchange a card, a gift, and don’t even the mention the fact that it’s February 14th.

So what happened? Are we in danger of falling out of love? Is the spark gone? Does romance fade as marriage grows?

Of course not! Our show of affection has moved from a greeting card to a brush of the leg under the dinner table. It’s not a box of candies, but the long, deliberate hug we share every morning before we get out of bed and start our day. While flowers are lovely and nice, it can’t replace the way I get butterflies each time our feet touch while snuggling on the couch, or how I can’t resist a smile when he still reaches out to hold my hand.

Valentine’s Day is one day of the year. Our love is practiced everyday, every chance we get. It is a real, true, ordinary love that doesn’t require superfluous, overpriced gifts.

Recently a dear friend, who was going through a divorce, lamented the loss of her marriage. Through tears, she said, “We didn’t place the right priority on our marriage like you and Trent have. We put our kids, our jobs, our family ahead of our marriage. I watch you and notice that first, above all else, are You and Trent.”

Well, she partially got that right. Trent and I are each other’s top priority after our love for our Lord. Our Savior first, then us, next kids, and everything else falls under that. That was the commitment we made to each other when we fell in love and have made sure to not make anything usurp that hierarchy.

Of course, Trent still shows me gestures of his love through gifts, but it’s not the commercial expectancy that most women come to want. He respects me, listens to me, stays up with me if I’m scared or worried, kills the spiders (that was in our vows), loves our children, and is my best friend.

It’s not rocket science, and quite honestly, it’s not that big of an effort. It’s very easy to stay in love because we have chosen to die to self and put each other first. Our hopes and prayers are that our boys will one day learn that it’s not the gifts you give that determine your love, but that true love comes from yourself and the willingness to put their spouse before themselves and is ULTIMATELY a reflection of the only One who loves us most of all.

So throw away those cardboard heart cut outs and your expectancy of such cheap trinkets of love. The real thing awaits. This Valentine’s Day, dive right in.

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