Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Gentle Buddhism

Home
Buddhist
Feeling naked

Feeling naked

Last updated on: December 22, 2017 at 10:33 am by Satya Robyn

Feeling naked 2017-12-22T10:33:50+00:00 Satya Robyn

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I’m feeling naked this morning, as my new novel ‘Some Kind of Freak’ has just gone out into the world without me.

This is my sixth novel, and my eight book, and so it’s a familiar feeling. When I first starting writing, I thought the whole process would get easier as time went on. Once I’d finished my first novel and people had enjoyed reading it, surely I’d feel less insecure as I wrote the second? As I became familiar with the terror of the blank page, surely the words would come more easily?

It hasn’t got any easier at all. It’s got harder.

Writing is a strange thing. I know that writers tend to make a big fuss about the torture of writing. I tell people that writing is the most important thing I do, and the most difficult. This novel took four years (moving into and running a temple got in the way a bit), lots of guilt when I wasn’t writing it, and lots of resistance when I was. It has bits of my heart in it.

I laugh at myself sometimes. I say to myself, ‘You choose to do this thing, you know. No-one is hounding you for your next book. You aren’t dependent on the income it provides. Why do you have to go through this whole emotional rigmarole every single book?’

Some of the trauma is because I want you to like my writing and my characters, i.e I want you to like ME. Over the years, this need has mellowed a little. I know that my books can be reviewed glowingly by one person and scathingly by the next. I don’t have any control over what people will think of Jude and his story, and I don’t have any control over what they think about me.

There’s also an occasional rapacious desire for fame and money. I received a good amount of this with my fourth novel, and, disappointingly, after I’d bought a luxury greenhouse and built an extension on the house, life went on much as it did before! The Buddha is right about these things…

If I put these things aside, what’s left is a kind of raw vulnerability. That naked feeling. Through Jude in this book, and through the other characters in my other books, I’m sharing something about myself with the world (with you) which is as close to the truth as it possibly can be. The messy, embarrassing, glorious, awe-inspiring truth. No wonder I feel a bit wobbly.

So, the book is out. Now I’ve written this blog, I’m going to make some little vegan bakewell tarts for our temple open morning tomorrow morning. This will bring me back to earth – rolling out the pastry, spooning in the jam – the idea of our guests enjoying them.

Books, bakewell tarts – it’s all the same really. I make an offering of them, for the Buddha, and for anyone who might want to eat them or read them.

Namo Amida Bu.

(ooh, here’s the desire for fame again! here are the links!! Kindle UK, Paperback UK, Kindle US, Paperback US)

Previous Post

December 20, 2017

Sutta Study: Self-control is difficult

Next Post

December 25, 2017 Happy Christmas!

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Activism Aiko the Dog Beauty Being kind to ourselves Bombu nature Buddhist knowledge Buddhist women Climate Emergency Climate Grief Community Daily Practice Death Dharma Dharma Glimpse Dharma Study Dilemmas Gentle Buddhism Gentleness Helping others Indulgence Internal Family Systems Introvert Journalling Knowing our limits Magic Managing stress Meditation Money Parts Questions Ralph the Dog Relationships Relax Rest Self-criticism Self-reflection Social Media Spiritual practice Uncategorized Word of the Year Writing

Select a Month March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which parable features a Pharisee and a tax collector praying?

Select your answer to see how you score.

The Lost Sheep The Pharisee and the Tax Collector The Sower The Wise Virgins

Related posts from Gentle Buddhism

Meeting Suffering With Gentleness

Gentle Buddhism

How to Handle our Internal Cookie Monster

Gentle Buddhism

The Secret to Unlocking All Dharma Books

Gentle Buddhism

The Buddhist Police Inside My Head

Gentle Buddhism

TRENDING AT PATHEOS Buddhist

On Taking Refuge in the Dharma

(Here I continue the feature of sharing talks and essays by teachers...

Easy, Right? A Dharma Talk

(Continuing my intention to share talks and essays by other members of Empty...

The Subtle Art of Bowing: A Dharma Discourse

(This presentation was first offered by my dear friend Dharma Holder Tom...

Internal Family Systems Can Heal you Mentally &...

How IFS Helped Me Stop Fighting Myself Internal Family Systems (IFS) is...

The Bible No One Spoke About: A Family’s...

A mysterious family Bible, unspoken faith, and a journey from curiosity to...

How Uncertainty Can Transform Your Life in 2025

Embracing Uncertainty: A New Year’s Resolution for the Brave As 2025 approaches,...

view all Buddhist blogs

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Copyright 2008-2026, Patheos. All rights reserved.

Subscription Support Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In

Follow Patheos