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4 Ways to Lean Into the Power of Relationships This Christmas

4 Ways to Lean Into the Power of Relationships This Christmas

Last updated on: December 11, 2015 at 7:56 am by Josh Daffern

4 Ways to Lean Into the Power of Relationships This Christmas 2015-12-11T07:56:00-06:00 Josh Daffern

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I think deep down we all know that Christmas isn’t about retail, it’s about relationships. People who have a difficult Christmas usually don’t suffer from a quality of retail but a quality of relationships. So if the best Christmas ever is all about relationships, how can we rediscover the beauty and value of relationships this Christmas? How can we lean into and leverage relationships for the best Christmas ever?

Let me give you four distinct ways that can make the biggest difference:

1. Tell someone how much you appreciate them.

No, like really tell them. Not a text, not even a letter, unless you read that letter to their face. What would it do to your relationships if you sat someone down, face to face, eye ball to eye ball, and told them how much you appreciated them? I know that many of you think wonderful thoughts about other people. In your mind, you compliment people all the time. Which is great once we figure out how to read other people’s thoughts. Until then, we need to tell them.

Why is this so important? Because encouragement is the fuel on which relationships run. When you make yourself vulnerable enough emotionally to share your appreciation with another human being, it builds a deeper bond with that person. Deeper bonds lead to better relationships. Better relationships lead to the best Christmas ever!

Why not do it today? Why not do it this week? There’s a tradition people have for November called 31 Days of Thankfulness, where each day you put on social media something you’re thankful for. Great tradition. What if we followed that up in December with 31 Days of Appreciation, where we tell one person a day, face-to-face, how much they mean to us? Would you want 31 different people to stop you sometime during the month and tell you how much you meant to them? Tell someone how much you appreciate them.

2. Be a peacemaker.

Jesus said in Matthew 5, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.” Making peace between God and man, making peace between people, is one of the core things we’re called to as Christians. One of the reasons people have bad Christmas experiences isn’t because they don’t have enough quality retail in their life, but because they don’t have enough quality relationships in their life. When you’re surrounded by broken relationships in your life, it’s hard for you to have quality anything. That means that this Christmas, the most spiritual thing you may could do, the biggest gift you could ever give is to forgive someone.

We have a tendency to hold onto hurts, especially against family, for years. Even if they pass away, we can still hold onto hurts. But that unforgiveness we hold onto turns toxic and becomes cancerous, stealing our joy in life. That person that hurt you may never ask for forgiveness. From your perspective, they may never deserve forgiveness, but will you forgive them? Will you let go of that bitterness? Will you forgive like Jesus forgave you? You have no idea how much better your life will be when your body isn’t flooded with the cancer of bitterness and unforgiveness.

And once you do it in your own life, help others do it in their lives. Share your story with others, give them the hope and courage to do it in theirs. Some of you need to be a peacemaker in your family, to bring people back together. When you heal relationships through peacemaking, you help create the best Christmas ever!

3. Make a memory.

Whatever you buy this Christmas, it will break. It will wear out. It will become obsolete. Stuff is just stuff. Stuff never lasts.

Memories can last a lifetime. When I preach funerals of those who have passed on, we never spent time sharing about all the cars they owned, how big their tv’s were, or even the size of their checking accounts. What we share are the memories. The times they made people laugh. The times they inspired others. The quiet moments they spent with their family. Memories will always trump material things, so why not create a memory this Christmas?

Sometimes memories are planned, sometimes they are spontaneous and need to be improvised, so you need to be present, not stuck behind your phone all Christmas. Have fun, laugh often, love deeply. Do something you’ll remember and laugh about for years on end.

4. Become family to someone who needs it.

Open up a seat at your table. Celebrate Christmas with someone. Expand your family and become family to someone who needs it. Don’t let anyone celebrate Christmas alone. Some of us have all of our family out of town. Some of us have lost family and won’t see them again until we’re with them in heaven. Some of us just don’t have anyone. Be community, be family to someone who needs it. Who can you invite to celebrate Christmas with you this year?

QUESTION: How else can we lean into relationships this Christmas?

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