Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

New Wineskins

Home
Evangelical
4 Steps to Keep Regret From Ruining Your Christmas

4 Steps to Keep Regret From Ruining Your Christmas

Last updated on: December 13, 2018 at 7:03 am by Josh Daffern

4 Steps to Keep Regret From Ruining Your Christmas 2018-12-13T07:03:42-06:00 Josh Daffern

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Nathan Dumlao

We all struggle with regrets during the Christmas holidays. Maybe we wish we could give more to our family or that we could give back more to others. Perhaps we wish our lives were as perfect as everyone else’s lives seem to be or we simply wish we were happier. For some of us, we wish we weren’t still struggling with the same things we promised ourselves we’d quit last Christmas. For others, we wish our family relationships weren’t so broken and dysfunctional.

In the first Christmas story, we see not only authenticity and regret (when Joseph decided to divorce Mary in Matthew 1:19), we also see a way to move past regret, from the angel’s message to Joseph. Here are four steps to keep regret from ruining your Christmas:

1. Bring your regret out into the open. This comes from when the angel Gabriel first said to Joseph, But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife” (Matthew 1:20).

I love how the angel cut right to the chase. He brought Joseph’s fear right into the open. What would happen if he took Mary home? Could he trust her? What would the neighbors think? Would he ever be able to truly accept this child as his own? All of those fears wrapped together became the regret that caused Joseph to pause and even regret the whole relationship. The angel goes right after that fear and brings it into the light. The reason this is so important is because if we allow our fear or our regret to terrorize is in the dark, then it will be like a boogeyman under the bed. The regret will paralyze us with shame and fear and keep us from moving forward.

Could you name your regret now? Could you write it down and bring it into the open? Light brings clarity, grace and hope. If you can bring your regret out into the open, you can begin to find healing. So, what’s your regret? Is it a past decision that still haunts you? Is it that worst part of your personality that gets you into trouble again and again? Is it starting that relationship that you wish you would have never started? Is it getting married to your spouse? Is it your broken, dysfunctional relationships now? Is it your current financial mess? What do you regret? Regret doesn’t have to ruin your Christmas. Step one is to bring your regret out into the open.

2. Find the purpose behind the pain**.** But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins” (Matthew 1:20-21).

The angel gave Joseph the reason behind his regret: it was serving a greater purpose. Yes, Joseph would have to walk through some difficult relational times with Mary and his friends and family, but the purpose was worth it: to bring forth the Messiah, the promised one that would save his people from their sins. For many of you, your greatest purpose will come from your greatest pain. I’ve seen this happen again and again, that God wants to redeem your greatest regrets and pain and give them great purpose.

3. Take the next step forward. How regret ruins your Christmas (and beyond) is that it paralyzes you. You don’t think you can move forward. One of the most important things you can do is take a next step forward, even if it’s a baby step. When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife (Matthew 1:24).

I love how Matthew records this. “Joseph did what the angel commanded him to do.” The way it’s written, we’re still not sure if Joseph was completely on board. He might have been doing it under protest. But he took the next step. He followed through with his commitment to Mary. In the same way, when you take a next step forward in your faith, whatever that is, that’s you making a conscious decision that your regret is not going to paralyze you anymore.

Your next step might be to call a family member on your way home from church and say, “We need to talk.” Maybe your regret isn’t something you can make right, maybe it’s deep in your past or the person has died. You still need to be free from it. Find a church, lean into community and take a next step forward in your faith.

4. Walk wisely. But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus (Matthew 1:25).

Regrets are messy. You can’t let them define you, but you have to acknowledge them. Joseph didn’t pretend like Mary wasn’t pregnant. She was and it was obvious. So, he walked wisely. He waited.

If you’re a recovering alcoholic and you’re getting your life right, just because you’re on the right track now doesn’t mean it will ever be wise for you to go out on a Friday night and go bar hopping with your friends, no matter how good you’re feeling. Walk wisely.

If you’ve broken trust in a marriage or a close relationship you don’t just get to say you’re sorry and pretend like nothing happened. You have to rebuilt trust slowly. If your regrets are due to poor choices you’ve made in the past, you can definitely move past your regret, but there are always consequences to your choices, so walk wisely.

Previous Post

December 10, 2018

The First Christmas Would Have Never Been Shown on the Hallmark Channel

Next Post

December 17, 2018 4 Types of Loneliness People Experience at Christmas

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Family Matters Ministry in the Trenches Morning Brew MTVpastor New Wineskins Top Menu Truth from Life Uncategorized Watch Sermons

Select a Month June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does "Naphtali" mean in Hebrew?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Chosen One God is my rock The Lord is my strength My struggle