3 Ways We Unintentionally Exclude Those We’re Called to Embrace

Last updated on: May 8, 2017 at 6:41 am by Josh Daffern

3 Ways We Unintentionally Exclude Those We’re Called to Embrace 2017-05-08T06:41:31-06:00 Josh Daffern

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

unsplash.com

Some churches might be mean and petty, but most churches aren’t. And yet if we’re not careful, we can dig a wide moat around our church family to keep outsiders out all the while declaring “Guests Welcome”. How do churches do that? Here are three ways we unintentionally exclude those we’re called to embrace:

1. We assume people know the Bible. It’s those quick references and off-hand comments that can scream loudly that outsiders are to remain outside. Church people are born and raised learning the basic stories of the Bible. But that pool of people is quickly shrinking. So when we reference stories like David and Goliath or Jonah and the Whale or Daniel and the Lion’s Den, we can’t assume that people actually know those stories. If we quickly reference them or gloss over them and move on, it belittles those who don’t know the stories but are afraid to ask. A few days ago I was praying with a recovering addict who requested prayer, and I wanted to share some inspiration from Peter’s life. I asked if she was familiar with the life of Peter in the gospels and she said she didn’t know anything about his life. You can’t assume anything.

2. We prejudge people for not holding to a standard to which they never agreed to keep. I see this all the time. The sideways glances and silent glares from church people when a guest walks in that doesn’t look like a church person. And church people know because church people have a specific look. And if a guest walks in looking un-churchlike, the judgment begins. Perhaps it’s the tattoos, the biker leather jacket, the ear gauges, the shorts, the backwards cap or the spiked hair. We need to remember that it makes no sense to judge a non-church person for failing to hold to the standard set by church people, a standard they never agreed to keep. That’s why they’re guests. And if they’re excluded instead of embraced, that’s why they’ll never come back.

3. We have closed small groups and refuse to start new ones. If people wonder why many guests or even attenders don’t get plugged in long-term, the answer can be as simple as failure to plug into a small group. If people wonder why guests don’t plug into small groups, it’s because your church isn’t starting new ones. The standard pushback would be something like, “Well, we’ve already got four small groups (or Sunday School classes), and three of them are half full. Let’s fill those up first before we start new ones.” That simply doesn’t work. After several weeks, a small group effectively closes. It doesn’t matter how many seats are left open. Don’t believe me? Go to a restaurant, find a table of friends eating together with one seat open, and ask to join them. Tell me how that works out for you. A church must be intentional to constantly launch new small groups. If not, we’re excluding those God has called us to embrace.

Previous Post

May 3, 2017

Are We Becoming Modern-Day Pharisees?

Next Post

May 9, 2017 Why the Future of the Church Looks a Lot Like North Point Community Church

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Family Matters Ministry in the Trenches Morning Brew MTVpastor New Wineskins Top Menu Truth from Life Uncategorized Watch Sermons

Select a Month June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does Paul tell the Thessalonians to do without ceasing?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Study the word Give thanks Pray Rejoice