Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Progressive Christian
Relationships and Religion
Chapter 2: The Quest for “Does God Talk?”

Chapter 2: The Quest for “Does God Talk?”

Last updated on: August 12, 2026 at 5:50 pm by Dorian Scott Cole

0 Comments

Chapter 2: The Quest for “Does God Talk?” 2026-08-12T17:50:11-06:00 Dorian Scott Cole

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Open and Relational Theology & Social Psychology

Counseling Office. Gemini Generated Image

About this series: This series is intended to help individuals who have hit an obstacle in their spiritual journey and feel that a shift in their spiritual life is necessary. It is intentionally inclusive and applicable across all faiths, personal beliefs, spirituality, or non-religious perspectives.

This resource is not diagnostic, prescriptive, directive, or therapeutic. Rather, you may find concepts that resonate with you, meditations that prove helpful, and insights to spark your spiritual growth. You are encouraged to approach this material prayerfully.

If you find yourself unable to resolve your challenges or move forward, professional counseling is strongly recommended. Catholics may want to speak with their priest or spiritual director. Others may want to see their pastor or religious leader. Those of all faiths may benefit from a counselor in psychology, or may find help moving forward with a life coach.

Spiritual growth deeply intersects with personal and social psychology. The author, Dorian, is a former pastor with university training across multiple disciplines.

Additional information on spiritual counseling can be found on Dorian’s Website.

If you are new to this spiritual counseling series, you can begin your journey with Chapter 1: Help, I’m Spiritually Burned Out.

Additional information on spiritual counseling may be found at Dorian’s Website: Spiritual Counseling.

If you are new to this spiritual counseling series, you can begin the quest with Chapter 1: Help, I’m burned out.

The 60-Second Read
Chapter 2: The Quest for “Does God Talk?”

The Core Problem: Demanding dramatic “signs” or loud, analytical answers to life’s “Why?” questions leads to exhaustion, isolation, and feeling like God is silent or distant.
The Root Cause: Misunderstanding how God communicates—relying on Hollywood depictions, fear-driven religious legalism, or projecting distant personal relationships onto God.
The First Step: Releasing the need to analyze life’s chaos, resting quietly in God’s unconditional love, and learning to listen for the “still, small voice” through authentic human connection and community.

Chapter 2: The Quest for “Does God Talk?”

Spiritual Counseling Series: Top Twenty Questions

As Marcus stepped out of Thomas’s office, feeling a mix of confusion and quiet relief, he passed Elena in the waiting room. She looked up nervously from her brochure. Marcus gave her a warm, reassuring smile. “You’re in good hands,” he whispered.

Elena took a deep breath, picked up the Coke can she brought with her, stood up, and walked into the haven as Thomas stood in the doorway beckoning to her.

Elena was immediately taken by the owl picture on the wall. “Is that owl there for wisdom?”

“It’s for whatever feels right to you. Do you like owls?”

“Yes, they’re kind of cool. They just sit there and stare at you like they can see inside you.” She laughed nervously.

Thomas gestured gently toward the empty leather armchair across from him. “You know, I’m always genuinely curious why people show up in my waiting room. So, Elena… what brought you here today? And fair warning: if you’re looking for a guy who has all the answers, we’re both in a lot of trouble—unless you brought them. I get a few of those.”

She relaxed at Thomas’s disarming wit and laughed again. “Why do you think? I have questions, and I thought a spiritual counselor might have answers.”

Thomas shrugged. “Fair enough, although I was kind of hoping you could tell me the answers since you seem expeienced in looking. Tell me about your quest for answers. How long have you been searching?”

“Ever since bad things started happening to me, with no good things to balance them out. I keep shouting, ‘Why, God?’ but he never answers.”

“I once asked God for a sign to tell me if I should quit counseling,” Thomas said. “I said, ‘If I’m supposed to quit, put a million dollars in my bank account tomorrow morning.’ The next morning I had a million dollars in my bank account. You know what I did then? I hired a comedian to whisper jokes in my ear all day. Did I do the right thing?”

“Did you really?”

“No. God doesn’t work that way. How do you think God works? What made you come here?”

“I saw a sign on a bus waiting bench about spiritual counseling.”

“So you think maybe that was God giving you a sign? Do you think God communicates through signs?”

“I don’t know what to think. But I’m so tired of asking. I’m burned out on asking. You know? I’m beginning to think maybe there isn’t a God, or maybe he doesn’t care. And candidly, I’m lonely. I’m confused. My life is going nowhere.” Her face contorted with pain. “I have no idea what to do.”

He could see by the pain in her eyes that this wasn’t a philosophical inquiry but a life-impacting search. “Gulp. Are you expecting me to solve all those things? Like, today?” Thomas smiled warmly at her.

“It would be wonderful if you could take some of this pain away. I’m sick of floundering around like some bird with a broken wing.”

Thomas drew in a deep breath to find the words to break it to her gently. “This is going to take a little bit of time. But I can give you hope, and sometimes that’s just what we need to keep going.”

Elena nodded in acceptance.

“Tell me, are you spiritual? Religious? Ever been to a church or other religious organization?”

“Okay, here we go.” She looked at the owl for wisdom. “Churches… I mean, they’re just creepy. They sing old songs with weird words, and I don’t have any idea what they mean. And they have all of these ceremonies that are weird, like drinking blood like they’re in a vampire cult or something.”

She set her Coke can on the table, glanced at Thomas to see if it was alright, took another swig, and set it back down. She sighed. “I don’t want to be a part of something like that. Especially if the first words out of their mouth are that I’m going to Hell if I don’t do what they want.”

“I can’t say that I blame you. What about Jesus? Like him, hate him?”

“I mostly like what I hear about him. Seems like he was no cap. For real. He was based. But he also said some really weird things, so I kind of keep him at arm’s length. Know what I mean?”

“Sure. I think you’re saying he was authentic, and maybe that’s worthy of some trust in what he said?”

“I think I could trust him until he got weird, like talking about dividing families, and… whatever.” Her voice trailed off as the negative public ethos of thoughts surrounding her view of Jesus bound her attitude.

Thomas noted the shift. “Do you come from a divided family?”

“My parents got divorced when I was twelve. Stepparents are no fun. Yes, I don’t like talk about dividing families. I hate it!”

“Was your father ‘God-like’ to you? Fathers are often symbols of God, and we project onto God how we expect to be treated. Tell me about him.”

“He was okay. He worked a lot. He watched a lot of baseball.” She looked at Thomas to see his reaction as a guy. He nodded sideways in empathy. “I’m a girl, so I didn’t really fit in his world. He tried to take Mom’s place when he divorced her for endless drug use and rehabilitation stays. But when I was getting my period, he had his sister come and talk to me. It was… uncomfortable. So he kind of kept me at arm’s length. If I asked him for help, he would help, but it was like we couldn’t be friends. And then my stepmom—she was a real freak show. I stayed away from her. End of story on that one. My whole life is kind of like this. One cluster… uh, one giant mess after another.”

“So what do you think God is like for you?”

“Isn’t God the same for everyone? Or does he have favorite children he treats better? I have no idea. Do you?”

“God is love. But the devil is in the details.” Again he smiled warmly at her. She was not impressed with his comment.

“Do you like movies?” he asked.

“I watch a lot of them.”

“Any of them about God? Or angels, demons, supernatural events? Are there any movies that you think show what God is about?”

“A bunch of corny religious stuff. Bruce Almighty with Jim Carrey was funny. He makes everything funny. I wish he was my neighbor. You can’t be depressed when he’s around.”

“Do you think Jim Carrey could answer your questions?”

“I think he could get me to forget about them.”

They both laughed.

“Do you think God was accurately portrayed in that movie? I just want to get a sense of what your expectation of God is.”

She took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and thought about it. “I don’t remember much about God in it. I think it just left God as a puzzle to figure out, and showed how hard his job is.”

“The picture I’m getting is that God is a puzzle to figure out, and you don’t have an example of God that makes any sense to you.”

She jumped up and pointed at him. “That! See, there—you get it. Now I believe in you because you figured that out.” He chuckled, and she sat back down.

“How do you navigate your life? Do you have a moral compass? Do you have friends that you talk to? TikTok videos? Podcasts? Sudden impulses?”

“Yes. All of those. My moral compass is: don’t hurt other people.”

“That’s a good one. Keeps you out of jail.”

She laughed. “But I’m dead in the water. My life makes no sense. I have no direction to go in. I’m not good at anything, but I don’t want to be a waitress all my life, or work in a factory. I’m just… I ask God and He doesn’t tell me anything.”

“The really wonderful thing about you—well, there are several wonderful things—is that God loves you and wants to help you. And you’re seeking answers. That means you’re open and have the potential to move forward. And I want to help you find your answers and move forward.”

She smiled at him and waited expectantly.

“But I don’t just hand people answers. People have to dig for them. But I can help you dig in the right places.”

She stopped looking so happy and expectant, but she listened.

“God is within you. You have to tune in to God. You have to hone your spiritual intuition so that when the right things resonate with you, you can believe them. Does that make any sense?”

“Kind of. I mean, I suppose God might be within me, but he’s awfully quiet. And maybe I can learn to ‘tune in’ my intuition like some psychic experience. I, uh, guess I can try.”

“Intuition is sometimes called the still, small voice. It’s not your conscience or your parents’ voice, or the police or a judge on TV. God doesn’t shout with a megaphone in your ear. When everything is calm and you have no worries plaguing you, it’s the answer that makes sense to you—a quiet feeling that it’s right.”

She shrugged. “Okay. I’ve never known a time when I had no worries plaguing me. That is my life.”

Thomas looked at her sympathetically. He knew this was a lot for her to process. Change can be difficult and takes a lot of effort, if a person is even capable of making a change. She seemed to be someone who could, but time would tell.

“I can help you with getting calm,” Thomas said gently. “But there is something else that’s very important. I believe with all my heart and experience that God is relational. God doesn’t force himself on us—not that God is a ‘he.’ God invites us, and sometimes that means putting questions before us that we intuitively ask, such as ‘What does this all mean?’ Can you see that in your life?”

“Then God drives me nuts with questions?”

Thomas laughed at the irony. “By relational, I mean God works with you and with others. It’s about community. Brotherhood. People who are followers who can help each other with their spirituality and faith. Not that God doesn’t work miracles sometimes, but usually God works through others.”

“Not blood-sucking vampires!” she asserted.

Thomas laughed. “No. There are groups who are followers of Jesus. I want to distinguish this from followers of ‘everything’ who in the end don’t know what to believe or have any direction to go. You have to start with something well-grounded or you drift around forever. They represent… well, Jesus, who many of us believe fully represents God. Our belief is a living spirituality that grounds us, gives us hope, and brings us into good relationships with others and God. This gives us strength not just to endure, but to have better lives with direction, and better relationships.”

“That’s quite a sales pitch. Are you going to sell me a used car next?” Thomas half-smiled. She realized her comment was a very pointed barb and physically withdrew. “Sorry, I know you’re trying to do what’s in my best interest. I just have trouble believing it can help.”

“I’m not going to push you. If this sounds like something that might interest you, I’ll give you the address. Either way, we’ll continue talking and it will be fruitful.”

She shrugged. “Might as well. As long as they’re not freaky.”

“You might find me there sometimes.”

“Fire. I mean, that could be… dope.”

Thomas laughed. “Thanks for clarifying.” He leaned forward. “Tell me, Elena—when was the last time someone truly listened to you without trying to fix you or give you a cliché Bible verse? Have you looked for God in human connection, or are you trying to do this whole spiritual journey solo on a mountaintop?”

“I don’t like heights. I’m not a mountaintop kind of person. I’m down to earth, and I ask a lot of questions about practical stuff. I’m not a philosopher. Certainly not a monk hiding away on a mountain writing in secret little books.”

“To get you started in the right direction, I would like for you to meditate on a few things for the next week. I’ll send them to you in a text, but they are evidence-based restorative practices from positive psychology. Would you do this?”

She nodded. “Unless it’s weird.”

“First, I want you to begin to feel God’s unconditional love & acceptance. Please meditate on being loved exactly as you are right now—nothing else required. Maybe you won’t even believe it at first. You can raise objections and say, ‘God, how can you love someone who breaks promises to others?’ Not that you do, but as an example. And then remember my words: there is nothing you can do to turn God’s love for you sour. You can’t escape God’s love. Keep meditating on this. God loves you just as you are and badly wants to have a relationship with you, to make your life meaningful and rewarding.”

“I’m not going to become Mother Teresa,” she said plaintively.

“No, no one expects you to,” he reassured her. “Just get in touch with God within you, who loves you no matter what. And then realize that the ‘Why?’ question eating you alive is maybe a smaller question that’s infecting your life and stopping you cold. We don’t need to understand everything.”

He looked at her for affirmation. She shrugged.

p>“Although, like money, understanding helps,” Thomas smiled. “Practice letting go of the need for an analytical explanation for life’s chaos. Rest in God’s quiet presence and appreciate that the God of the universe loves you.”

“That’s kind of profound. But you know I’m not good at fooling myself.”

They both laughed. “I think that’s a good thing. I would worry if you could fool yourself.”

But how do I get my mind away from all of these worries?” she asked, looking at him plaintively. “You said you could help.”

“The Apostle Paul wrote a letter nearly two thousand years ago that deals with this exact thing,” Thomas said warmly. “He said: ‘Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute… think on these things.’

“When we fill our minds with bad scenarios, our brain naturally generates more negative thoughts to match. But the human mind can really only hold one focus at a time. Shifting your focus to what is true and good displaces the worries, and it sets your heart up for inner discovery. We just have to get into the right frame of mind. Think you can try this?”

“Why does this sound so simple? Why have I never thought of this?”

“I thought I was saying something profound, and you tell me it’s simple?” They both laughed.

“It is profound,” she insisted with a big smile.

Thomas continued. “Lastly, look for relational opportunities that God might bring your way. Some call these ‘God winks.’ Look for the small ways God speaks through the kindness of strangers, friends, and nature over the next few days. To meditate on that, think about the people you meet every day. Maybe you don’t know them, but you could. Are they interesting? When we get to know people, we often find a rich treasure trove with boundless possibilities. No promises. It takes time. Just start thinking about them, and if you get a chance, talk to others about their lives.”

He handed her a card with an address and times on it. “And if you feel like it, visit this group. I think you’ll like it. And if you don’t, just don’t go back. Fair enough?”

She nodded.

“See you next week.”

“Definitely. Thanks.”

Elena left feeling a little lighter than when she came in. There was hope.

Next chapter: Marcus continued. And then Elena continued.

Our answer is God. God’s answer is us. Together we make the world better.

Author’s Website with life and spiritual resources: Dorian Scott Cole .com

Recent website articles

In the classic tale of the Farmer and the Snake, a traveler helps a frozen creature, only to be bitten with the chilling reply: “You knew I was a snake when you picked me up.”

Will AI befriend us, then bite us? Will it destroy human creativity?

Not if we understand what creativity actually is. In my latest paper, I take a deep walk into that Labyrinth to explore the true nature of imagination, Probability Space, and how AI can accelerate—rather than replace—our creative power.

Creativity: To the Edge of Potential Space
How do I know if I’m an adult? Is there a test I missed? Most of us spend adulthood secretly wondering if we’ve actually arrived—or if everyone else is just pretending. Can’t I just play?

Being grown up isn’t a static identity, nor is it about fitting in. I really enjoy people who are different, and true maturity comes with that kind of openness.

While there’s no official exam for maturity, I mapped out a subjective framework exploring how adults actually grow: Defining Adulthood Through Attitude and Agency
Criteria for selecting a therapist and remaining authentic
Can rural areas (and city depressed zones) become financially stabilized so every person can earn a living wage? Local-first. Yes!
How might the Ancients have moved 100-ton stones using acoustics?
Communications: The Trump Effect: Social Liquefaction
Theology of Catastrophe: a dissertaton style paper on why catastrophes happen.
Ekklesia: a new format for a Jesus Gathering.
Systematic Theology for the 21st Century
Major Decision Matrix