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Chapter 10, Elena: Progress

Chapter 10, Elena: Progress

Last updated on: October 20, 2026 at 12:01 am by Dorian Scott Cole

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Chapter 10, Elena: Progress 2026-10-19T09:56:23-06:00 Dorian Scott Cole

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Open and Relational Theology & Social Psychology

About this series: This series is intended to help individuals who have hit an obstacle in their spiritual journey and feel that a shift in their spiritual life is necessary. It is intentionally inclusive and applicable across all faiths, personal beliefs, spirituality, or non-religious perspectives.

This resource is not diagnostic, prescriptive, directive, or therapeutic. Rather, you may find concepts that resonate with you, meditations that prove helpful, and insights to spark your spiritual growth. You are encouraged to approach this material prayerfully.

If you find yourself unable to resolve your challenges or move forward, professional counseling is strongly recommended. Catholics may want to speak with their priest or spiritual director. Others may want to see their pastor or religious leader. Those of all faiths may benefit from a counselor in psychology, or may find help moving forward with a life coach.

Spiritual growth deeply intersects with personal and social psychology. The author, Dorian, is a former pastor with university training across multiple disciplines.

If you are new to this spiritual counseling series, you can begin your journey with Chapter 1: Help, I’m Spiritually Burned Out. Or if you are new to spiritual things and agnostic to religion, follow Elena’s journey in Chapter 2: The Quest for “Does God Talk?”

Additional information on spiritual counseling may be found at Dorian’s Website: Spiritual Counseling.

If you are new to this spiritual counseling series, you can begin the quest with Chapter 1: Help, I’m burned out.

Counseling Office. Gemini Generated Image

▶ A Personal Note on Burnout and Change

I’ve experienced burnout twice. My mental and physical constitutions are very robust; I adapt easily and can carry huge stress for very long periods with a tremendous perspective that aids me. But I’m not indestructible. The absence of meaningful and purposeful things in our lives is something that, at some point, has to be resolved. The compounding of physical, financial, and seemingly unresolvable problems can become so destructive that radical change becomes necessary. Over time, I’ve learned to recognize and resolve these inner warnings before they become destructive and force a radical break.

Regarding change, most people hate it. It’s usually the last option. But ignoring the need for change simply increases your suffering until you are forced to bite the bullet and do it. Knowing that, my goal with this series on spiritual counseling is to help people recognize what is happening inside themselves early on, and how to gracefully handle it to bring about a beautiful, life-giving result.

A Note on Resilience and Limitations

I just had back surgery. What a wonderful relief from constant pain and rapidly increasing limitations. I can sleep peacefully again and even cross my legs! LOL. I accept that I can no longer do the heavy-lifting tasks that used to be easy for me. Adaptability and resilience are built by understanding and accepting our needs. During this long period of increasing limitations, I explored many new areas of interest and ways of giving that keep me living a deeply meaningful life. I hope I can help you do the same through these writings.

The 60-Second Read
Chapter 10: Progress

The Power of Agency: Human beings naturally resist being forced or manipulated (psychological reactance). True spiritual growth happens when we are invited to explore, not when we are pushed.
The Healing of Community: After experiencing toxic relationships, finding an Ekklesia—a community that simply listens and accepts you without transactional demands—is profoundly restorative.
Graduation into Experience: Counseling provides the tools, but life provides the arena. At a certain point, the best way to answer spiritual questions is to live them out alongside others.

Chapter 10, Elena: Progress

Thomas watched as Elena entered. This time, there wasn’t fire in her eyes. She seemed calm. He motioned for her to sit down.

“I… you know. I just feel in my heart I owe you an apology.”

“No need,” Thomas responded quickly. He never wanted clients to feel they owed him anything. He was there for whatever their troubles were and wherever that led. But if they needed to apologize, he allowed it.

“I, uh—” She struggled for words. “You’ve been very kind to me. And very helpful. And very patient. And I’ve been like a bull in a china shop.”

“If that’s what it takes…” He smiled warmly at her.

She laughed. “I guess that’s what you get paid for.”

The moment hung in comfortable silence.

Sincerely, she continued, “I met this woman, the one whose name you gave me. She was very nice. So I went to the Ekklesia meeting with her. It was not what I expected. People were very nice to me and included me in everything. They didn’t want anything from me. They just listened to me.” Her eyes glistened. “I felt like they cared. I felt heard and seen.”

She smiled. “And they didn’t do any weird things.”

“Maybe next time,” Thomas offered.

She laughed. “You’re an idiot.”

Thomas grabbed his chest like he had been shot, and laughed with her.

“I want to be part of that. You people are so gentle. And not critical. Others there have had experiences just like mine. And they talked about it so easily. I felt like… I belonged.”

“That’s wonderful. Did you feel like God was in that?”

“Yeah, I kind of did. How could God not be? It was amazing, and it really resonated deeply with me, like I had found something I was looking for.”

She looked at him with appraising eyes. “You didn’t push me to go. You kind of let me find it. That was very good. Because if you had pushed me, I would have resented it even if it was good.”

Thomas again smiled warmly at her. “God is open to us and welcomes us. Invites us. God doesn’t make us do anything. If you ever feel forced, then it probably isn’t from God.”

Elena looked at the floor for a few moments, then at the owl that stared back at her with huge eyes, then at the forest scene with the animals. Thomas let her reflect as she evaluated her progress.

“I’m pleased with my progress. I have a new picture of what God is and how God communicates with us. What’s next?”

“You may find this hard to understand. You probably can make more progress now as part of the Ekklesia than coming to see me. But I’m always here if you need me.”

She gave him that ‘you have two heads’ look he had experienced before. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“Absolutely not. My door is always open. I just want what’s best for you. But questions come with experience, so you need to go experience life.”

“Oh. That kind of makes sense considering what I’ve gone through. Thomas, you’re full of surprises. Can I recommend others come to see you?”

“I would be very happy to see them.”

She let out a big sigh of relief. “I’m so pleased I came here.” She got up to leave.

“Good luck, and come back if you need.”

Before she got to the door, she stopped and turned back. “Your meditations are so helpful. Do you have one for me before I go?”

Thomas opened his drawer and pulled out a small, printed card. “This is the one I use every day. It’s a foundation to start your morning.” He handed it to her.

The Meditative Sequence

1. The Anchor of Choice
Between every event and my reaction, I possess the freedom to choose. Today, I actively choose to focus my mind on what is good, noble, and true.

2. The Release to the Present
The past is an archive of wisdom, not an anchor holding me back. My energy, my focus, and my presence belong entirely to today.

3. The Ground of Gratitude
I stand on a foundation of gratitude. Life is rich with physical grace and mental clarity, and I choose to keep my eyes open to witness it.

4. The Horizon of Hope
I look forward with resilient hope. The expectation of good pulls me into tomorrow, breathing life and momentum into my future.

5. The Engine of Purpose
My life has a clear trajectory. I am a resilient soul shaped by every experience, possessing a direction to go and meaningful work to share with others.