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How to Find Yourself During Change?

How to Find Yourself During Change?

Last updated on: November 22, 2025 at 11:24 am by Dorian Scott Cole

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How to Find Yourself During Change? 2025-11-22T11:24:25-06:00 Dorian Scott Cole

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How to Find Yourself During Change

Finding Yourself series

Why Church Change is So Difficult

The difficulty of adding anything new to a church service is something I’ve understood since the 1950s. I saw a lot of pastors criticized for something as simple as leading the congregation in singing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” in church. It seems to be a lifelong challenge. For many, anything other than the richly traditional service elicits the response, “We can’t accept that.”

Frightening Change by Gemini. Composite by Dorian Scott Cole

There’s a profound reason for that. For many people, traditions are important. They are a physical link to their personal history, their family, and generations of faith before them. In this fast-changing world where everything people count on seems to be changing, there is a sense of comfort in the stable things they can hold onto. It’s not just reassuring, it’s fortifying, in the sense that the world can be tamed or withstood.

So the Catholic Mass in Latin was difficult to replace with English and then a homily. Prophecy takes on stronger meaning because God will punish the wicked (those we perceive as unorthodox and sinners) and the good people will win.

I get it. I don’t want to take anything away from them. They need their security just as we all do.

But the world changes and moves forward, making it difficult for many to adapt. Still, adapting is necessary. Today’s church has a lot in it in form and theology that the church of the 1950s didn’t. Change is difficult, but it’s inevitable. And it always creates tension with the pastor and leaders standing right in the middle of it, having to control and tamp down strong feelings and objections while controlling the pace of change.

Jesus Encountered People Held Captive by Tradition

By the time of Jesus, the prophets were thought of as long dead—for four hundred years—and because everything was considered known about their official religion, no change was possible or warranted. All they had to do was go through the motions. The Sadducees ran the Temple and did the daily sacrifices to please God. The people had the Law of Moses to obey. The Scribes and Pharisees interpreted the Law. Done deal! People were pleased, God was pleased.

There were also the long-held “Traditions of the Elders” that carried as much or more weight than the Commandments. We’ve all heard from our great grandparents, “Cleanliness is next to Godliness,” and learned the tradition (habit) of washing or hands before meals. So the story in the Book of Matthew (15:1-20) Jesus encounters critics who ask why his followers don’t wash their hands before eating.

Jesus counters with: “You substitute a human tradition of giving your possessions to God instead of taking care of your parents as commanded.” Jesus knew that in this way they managed to keep their possessions until they died and didn’t have to support their parents. He called them hypocrites.

There were many Traditions of the Elders that displaced commandments. To use physics as an analogy, traditions were a weak force, but commandments for the Jews were the strong force that was the most powerful.

Why the Church Must Change

For one, new generations have a low tolerance for social injustice, religious bigotry, and rigid dogmatism. This “Jesus attitude” drives the desire for change. Churches have always been reflections of the social justice attitudes of their congregations, often reflecting the society and culture around them, such as acceptance of slavery and rejection of anything sexual. Today’s reflection in the looking glass is no different, though the specific topics vary.

A second reason is that services can become repetitive and spiritually lifeless. Something new is engaging, making the service feel alive and vital, which is important for many. Critically, most of today’s new generations are searching for authenticity. They prioritize genuine, raw spiritual experience over formal ritual. They may seek out churches with less formal structures, contemporary music, and highly relatable teaching styles.

Third, relevance is crucial: keeping up with the times makes services seem more relevant than being perceived as old, dusty history. A cultural disconnect often grows between generations: Today’s new generations often operate in a media-rich, fast-paced culture. They may find traditional structures and language impenetrable, boring, or irrelevant to their current life struggles. But they are just as spiritually hungry as the everyone else.

The good news is that while change may overshadow what some get from a service due to their negative reactivity, the majority will find something they resonate with somewhere in the service.

Change is a constant as our world gets better and strives for continuous improvement. Take it from me: the world is in a much better place than it was in the 1950s, even though strident voices scream otherwise. This resistance often stems from the fact that change is continuously upsetting, and for some, their worldview is centered not on helping others, but on judging and condemning. This points to one big change: New generations try to refrain from judging and condemning.

Healthy Strategies for Navigating Change

Stay Grounded

First, ask yourself: Does the new challenge threaten your basic values? Does it demand a negative change in you as a person or your identity?

Does it ask you to stop loving others, stop treating them with respect, or wish something harmful for them? Does it fly in the face of Jesus’ teachings, or is it just simply different?

If it doesn’t change your core values or violate the teachings of Jesus, then the change itself is trivial.

Focus on your core values—the unchanging fundamentals of your life. Acknowledge and practice gratitude; it is a life changer.

Look to the strength of others around you. You are not isolated.

Turn your vision outward toward serving others. This shifts the focus from “what pleases me” to doing “what pleases them.”

Go for a walk. Physical activity puts people in a better frame of mind. And a walk serves as a metaphor for the journey rather than the destination. The journey is filled with challenges, but to persevere day by day with the certainty that nothing can stop us is a uniquely calming walk along the path that strengthens us. The growing peace from God can’t be removed from us.

Positive Attitude: Accept and Embrace the Inevitable

People who accept and adapt to change find that they are much more satisfied with life. In contrast, fighting the inevitable and things we can’t change leads to stress and negative emotional states that diminish our quality of life. It is far better to reframe our thinking about change as an opportunity for personal growth, transforming the change from a loss into a gain.

Concluding Challenge

To “find ourselves” during change is to seize the opportunity to realize what is truly important. We should ask: What is the foundation of stability in our lives? Is it the comfort of tradition, or is it our walk with God and Jesus, and our values?

The ultimate challenge, then, is this: What is truly important to you? Can you substitute this fundamental truth for the mere comfort of tradition?

“Our answer is God; God’s answer is us; Together we make the world better.”

– Dorian Scott Cole

“With hate we have more to lose than gain. Break the cycle.”

– Dorian Scott Cole

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