{"id":10136,"date":"2024-02-29T06:53:23","date_gmt":"2024-02-29T06:53:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/naturessacredjourney\/?p=10136"},"modified":"2024-02-29T06:55:26","modified_gmt":"2024-02-29T06:55:26","slug":"cant-spell-working","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/naturessacredjourney\/2024\/02\/cant-spell-working\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Can\u2019t\u2019\u2014 This one toxic word can destroy a spell working"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Image by freepik<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/p>

I can\u2019t; you can\u2019t; we can\u2019t; they can\u2019t.\u2026 This wording is extremely harmful. Whoever said \u201cSticks and stones may break my bones, but words would never harm me\u201d never was told those words.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

These words can be detrimental at best; highly impairing at worst. The extent of<\/span><\/p>\n

harm is far greater than one thinks. The mental abuse it can cause hearing it and repeating it to yourself can last years, or a lifetime. When you tell yourself you can\u2019t, you automatically set yourself up for failure.<\/span><\/p>\n

Most of my life I was always told \u201cyou can\u2019t.\u201d It happened so often, so consistently, that for a very long time -three plus decades \u2013 I believed it was true. That negativity followed me in school, about household chores and even my driving was affected. Most of my schooling until sometime in high school I didn\u2019t even try.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I started my first \u201creal\u201d job, my editor gave me a shot. I didn\u2019t have a journalism degree, but my work in the college media department and extra classes proved my qualifications. The trust that the editors<\/span> \\<\/span>had in me was amazing. I went from editing tasks like simple obituaries and press releases to writing my own stories and even a column.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The tech booth in the Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Montclair, NJ. PHOTO BY ANN TRIP<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

This again is the case for the tech job I do for the <\/span>Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Montclair<\/span><\/a>, NJ now. Sure, with my photography skills I knew camera angles, but I had no other skills to prove myself. However,\u00a0 the Rev. Scott Sammler-Michael gave me a chance. I proved that I could handle the work and learned all that I needed and then some. As the Rev. Foxxy (Sher) Pullen always tells her Three Fires Grove class to never stop learning, so of course I still do.<\/span><\/p>\n

These two words though, \u201cI can\u2019t\u201d or even \u201cyou can\u2019t\u201d can hinder you. Spellwork won\u2019t work if you say- or even think- you can\u2019t. If you don\u2019t think or believe what you are trying to accomplish is even possible it won\u2019t be. Stop sabotaging your rituals and spellwork with those poisonous words. This goes for anything you do, even the mundane stuff.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I began building and then running my Sacred Wheel CUUPs chapter I didn\u2019t think I was capable. And to run a ritual, I didn\u2019t believe in myself yet. I then constantly told myself that I could do it. I stopped saying those hurtful, self-destructive words, and replaced them with I AM able to lead rituals. Things slowly began to change for me. I easily led discussions and classes too.\u00a0 Now, I correct others when I hear the words, just as my elders taught me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hermotimus PHOTO COURTESY OF THE REV. FOXXY (SHER) PULLEN<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Foxxy\u2019s late husband Hermotimus \u201cHerm,\u201d also my elder, drilled into us in his Hermetics class to never say \u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d Herm considered, \u201cI can\u2019t\u201d worse than a cuss word. Additionally, phrases such as \u201cI\u2019m stupid\u2026dumb\u2026an idiot\u201d etc. he put in that same category. Now I understand why.\u00a0 If we said \u201cI can\u2019t\u201d he scolded us into always changing it to \u201cI haven\u2019t been able to yet.\u201d When you tell yourself \u201c\u2026 can\u2019t\u201d you are programming your brain to not allow it, causing yourself to fail.\u00a0 I now remind others of this as well.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In fact, as I said in a previous blog, Herm taught us to picture the final result. Focus on the outcome not what may happen on the way to that product.<\/span><\/p>\n

For those who may not know, I\u2019m now the tech lead for UU Montclair. This past Sunday, I asked my friend\u2019s son to run the projector slides. He was new to the tech booth and has a learning disability. However, his positive attitude when I trained him amazed me. He absorbed the information so well and asked questions wanting to learn more areas in AV tech. His response each time, \u201cOK, I got this.\u201d He didn\u2019t let his disability control him. It actually was an influence on me. I admired it and it probably influenced me to break another fear of mine that day. I jumped in front of the camera to record a testimonial for my congregation\u2019s archives without a written script.<\/span><\/p>\n

My confidence has improved since their Three Fires Grove classes. It has taken me a long time and I still have a ways to go. However, I\u2019m doing things I never imagined I could or would before. I am teaching this to others in Three Fires Grove and anywhere else that I\u00a0 can.<\/span><\/p>\n

By adding \u2018yet\u2019 to the phrase can\u2019t or better yet say \u201cI can\u201d, changes everything. First, stop sabotaging yourself before you even try.\u00a0 Second, it helps to build your self confidence. You\u2019re giving yourself the possibility to succeed. It takes time and effort but anything that is worth it involves some, and sometimes a lot of, work.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So, the next time you hear someone utter the phrase \u201cI can\u2019t\u201d or worse \u201cYou can\u2019t\u201d correct them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In the words of George McFly, \u201cIf you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.\u201d Now if I could only go back in time\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

DeLorean BY LUKE HAYFIELD PHOTOGRAPHY<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Also see: <\/span>A Clear Concise Intention Is Vital For Spells And Life<\/span><\/a> and <\/span>Don\u2019t Let Fear Control You \u2014 Conquer And Destroy It<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I can\u2019t; you can\u2019t; we can\u2019t; they can\u2019t.\u2026 This wording is extremely harmful. Whoever said \u201cSticks and stones may break my bones, but words would never harm me\u201d never was told those words.\u00a0 These words can be detrimental at best; highly impairing at worst. The extent of harm is far greater than one thinks. The […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4409,"featured_media":10142,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1319],"tags":[1655,1630,1565,1490],"class_list":["post-10136","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritual-practice","tag-hermotimus","tag-rev-foxxy-pullen","tag-rev-scott-sammler-michael","tag-unitarian-universalist-congregation-at-montclair"],"yoast_head":"\n\u2018Can\u2019t\u2019\u2014 One toxic word can destroy a spell working<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I can\u2019t; you can\u2019t; we can\u2019t; they can\u2019t.\u2026 This wording is extremely harmful. 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