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Coming of Age: a class not just for adolescents

Coming of Age: a class not just for adolescents

Last updated on: December 2, 2024 at 7:34 am by Ann Trip

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Coming of Age: a class not just for adolescents 2024-12-02T07:34:20+00:00 Ann Trip

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Coming of Age

Inside the sanctuary at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Montclair, New Jersey. PHOTO BY ANN TRIP

If you ever wondered how you got to where you are, maybe take an Adult Coming of Age class. Recently, I took this class at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Montclair, New Jersey (UUCM). The Rev. Scott Sammler-Michael, senior co-minister, decided to offer this instead of a class on Hinduism.

I spoke with my elder, the Rev. Foxxy (Sher) Pullen and a few friends at my congregation. Instead of asking for my money back, I decided “what the heck” and took the course. It wasn’t a mistake; in fact, it’s a really good seven-week program exploring how we arrived where we are today. As much as I knew most of it, I found out some things too. So this is what I discovered and came to know about myself.

For the longest time I was Roman Catholic, or at least I thought I had no choice to be. As a young child when my family and I went to church we sat in the back. The church felt spooky. I was unable to see the priest speak, so all I heard was a voice in the void. Furthermore, I assumed I was stuck in it unless I married out of it. Yet, I felt no connection to it at all.

Coming of Age

Aisle of Light PHOTO BY PAUL EBBO

I went through the motions as everyone else did, you know a religious gym class: up, down, kneel and repeat. I prayed like they did, or I thought. It just never seemed to make much sense to me. Why these people do all of this and how connected they seemed to be, at the very least, puzzled me.

As I made my Confirmation, I found the church very self-contradictory. In order to make this rite of passage, we had to interview the priest and ask him three questions. I remember two of them. Granted he was new but nonetheless, I stumped him on all three; he could not answer them at all. The first one I asked was, “Why do we do Ash Wednesday when it is not in the Bible?” The second was, “How come the last two masses were all about money, when Jesus was not about money?” These were required masses for us to sit through in order to make this sacrament. Wish I could remember the third.

Later, when I attended a Catholic college (one I still oddly love) those contradictions were even more prominent to me. More questions came to mind. As a child who tried to do no wrong, I had to make things up or stretch the truth. Otherwise, I sat with the priest and stared at him. Such as, why did we need to tell a priest our “sins” even if we had none before we could take Communion. That really irked me some. Yet, at the same time, we were told to pray to God each night before bed. Talk to God, yet confess your sins, even if you were a “good” child to a priest.

Furthermore, I never understood why if God was all loving, you were damned to “Hell” if you ever did anything deemed “wrong.” The only way out was to beg for forgiveness and say a few Hail Mary’s and Our Fathers. It still makes no sense to me. Now, talk to the clergy when you need an ear or advice, that is totally different.

Around 2000, I discovered the fact that Jesus was not born in December. I asked my Catholic priest teacher, for my college Psalms class, whether this was true. He actually admitted to me that Jesus was most likely born in a warmer month.

Let’s not get started on remembering that Nicene Creed the reverends spoke about in two recent UUCM worship services. These sermons were part of an auction-won fundraiser last year. Sadly, I never did pick the Creeds up, unless for one class back in CCD, but I forgot that shortly after. I was not a stellar Catholic by any stretch of the imagination.

Once, I told my mom our college choir had sung at a Presbyterian Church. She claimed I hadn’t attended “church.” Oh and then, my cousin married in another Christian faith. According to her, he was not married in the eyes of God. I still scratch my head on those two thoughts, especially since the services were very similar. Subsequently, any of the other forms of Christianity fell under the same umbrella of Catholicism to me.

Judaism was not appealing either, so that marrying out option I thought about would not be helpful.

In 2000, I discovered the Pagan path and it felt right to me. I was a seeker for a long time: I really did not know what path I was seeking. Just having more than one deity made sense to me, especially Mother Goddess and Father God.

It was in 2010, that I settled on my Pagan path and discovered Druidry (a Celtic path) was right. I might actually have some Irish blood in me. My mom’s maternal grandfather was in an orphanage in Italy. The family rumor claims he was Irish. I cannot confirm that, but I would love to know if it’s true. It would explain my deep connection to the Celtic Druid path and of course my love of, and strong tolerance for, Irish whiskey.

Additionally, it would explain why my mom tells stories like she does. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, as they say. I always laugh about how Sammler-Michael explains how the Celtic tell stories, mainly because he describes my mom to a “T.”

I interviewed the new Revs. Anya and Scott Sammler-Michael, UUCM’s senior co-ministers, for the local newspaper in 2017. They began working together as a married couple for the first time. It made for an interesting story. At that time, I never heard of Unitarian Universalism.

For years, my elder, the Rev. Foxxy Pullen, begged me to look for a Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans chapter. I did look, I researched CUUPs many times and I came up with nothing but the UU in Princeton. It was rather far from me. I checked the Cuups.org website and UUCM’s only to find nothing. Foxxy told me to ask about a CUUPs chapter during the interview and at the very end, I did. As I knew, at that time, they did not have one.

It was shortly after that interview that I was introduced, by another congregant, to the person who ran their Wheel of the Year celebrations. Soon after that I started attending the congregation, irregularly. After a few months UU concepts began to really make sense and started to feel like a good addition. Before actually becoming a member, I started the CUUPs chapter, Sacred Wheel at UUCM. Leading that group has helped me as well.

Leading that group has helped me as well. Especially, knowing I am able to help other Pagans through multiplatform rituals and workshops makes me feel good.

To think, the person who had “Palm Sundayititis” is now the first one there, even before the ministers every Sunday. (I’d used to fake a migraine on most Palm Sundays.) So, this is a bit of a shocker.

I am the audio video tech lead there, so I see how many are in attendance from UUCM and beyond. I am able to bring the worship service to anyone anywhere who may need it. Knowing that people can view our services whenever they are able, means the world to me. With all going on in the world right now, we all could use something positive.

I am able to bring the worship service to anyone anywhere who may need it. Knowing that people can view our services whenever they are able, means the world to me. With all going on in the world right now, we all could use something positive.

Coming of Age

Article II Shared Values Flower GRAPHIC COURTESY OF TANYA WEBSTER

When I first joined UUCM in 2017/18, we followed the seven principles and the six sources. The ones that stuck out most to me were the first principle, “The inherent worth and dignity of every person,” the third — “Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations,” and the seventh — “Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.” With these three and the sixth source. See the UUA’s website for the seven principles and six sources.

However, now we follow the values: Interdependence, Equity, Transformation, Pluralism, Generosity, and Justice with Love at the center. These too resonate with me particularly: Interdependence and Pluralism.

Nature is who I am, although my allergies say otherwise. I am happiest outdoors, particularly at the beach. Thank the gods I have no shore allergies. But I must garden…carefully… in both of my flower and herbal/vegetable gardens.

Now I have a deep connection with my spirituality now, one I never had before. I see Mother Goddess and Father God in the moon and sun and throughout nature. I communicate with the deity all the time and I feel their presence during rituals. I’m more in tune with myself as well. I learned to use my intuition, which shouts at times.

UUCM’s congregation has helped me grow in my faith. For me, being a UU Pagan makes me whole. I need this community to keep me grounded. I feel loved there.

Think about what got you to where you are today and where it might take you.

Education and Religion

Religious Education

Spiritual Practice

Rev. Anya Sammler-Michael

Rev. Foxxy Pullen

Rev. Scott Sammler-Michael

Sacred Wheel CUUPs

Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Montclair

UUA

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