Memoir at Samhain: Hearing our Ancestors, Finding Our Voice

Last updated on: October 19, 2015 at 5:07 am by Amy Beltaine

Memoir at Samhain: Hearing our Ancestors, Finding Our Voice 2015-10-19T05:07:19+00:00 Amy Beltaine

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Memoir – Samhain, All Souls, Day of the Dead. This time of year the veil between the living and mystery is thin and we remember our those who have gone before. Memory can lighten the burden of grief, create meaning, or create a container for the next chapter. What is your memoir? What is your story? We need your voice. In a voiced community we all flourish!

My mother raised my sister and me on stories. When I flip through our photo albums I see pictures of her telling stories. Children sit spellbound at her feet. We dreamed with myths and fairy tales, biography and classics, picture books, young adult, and novels. Eventually she added stories she herself had written.

She knew that stories were more than entertainment, more than “make-believe.” Stories serve as a mirror to our inner lives, with deep psychological resonance. They teach us and change us. In college I studied Carl Jung and learned that dreams fall into the same category. Our dreams are our personal myths and symbols hold archetypal truths. Renowned memoir author Terry Tempest Williams says, “Storytelling is the umbilical cord between the past, present, and future.”

Reading Blueberries for Sal to a spellbound audience

I learned from Mom. I listened. I listened to the stories, to what she meant to teach, and I listened to her life. Stephen Sondheim wrote about that brilliantly in the musical “Into the Woods.” His song, “Children will Listen” contains the words:

Careful the wish you make,
Wishes are children.
Careful the path they take-
Wishes come true,
Not free.

Careful the spell you cast,
Not just on children.
Sometimes the spell may last
Past what you see
And turn against you…

Careful the tale you tell,
That is the spell.
Children will listen.

I don’t mean to ask you to be so careful that your voice is silenced. The play introduces the song by instructing the young father to “Tell the story.” We need to tell the story from our own experience, our own truth, our own lives, with our own voice. As Terry Tempest Williams says, “One of the ironies of writing memoir is in using the “I” it becomes an alchemical “we.” This is the sorcery of literature. We write out of our humanity by writing through our direct experience.”

In order to leave behind our own stories we must find our voice. An interviewer asked if Terry Tempest Williams’ voice was heard. Her response? “That is not my concern. My concern, a question really, is, do I have the courage to speak? If I speak I believe someone will respond. It then becomes my responsibility to listen to that person. And in listening, together we create a space where people can be heard. It’s the conversation that I care most deeply about; this is the space I want to honor, respect, and protect. In a voiced community, we all flourish.”

As Mom became more well known as a teacher, people would approach her and confide, “I want to write a memoir!” “Great,” she would say “Tell me more!” and they would tell all about the amazing life Grandma lived, or Dad, or great Uncle Jacob. “I’m sure that story would be interesting,” she would say, “but it isn’t your story. Write your story, and Grandma, or Dad, or Uncle Jacob will be in it with you.” There’s an anecdote about the great poet William Stafford. He was at a reading, and had just finished sharing one of his poems when an audience member blurted: “I could have written that.” William replied, “but you didn’t.” Then he leaned forward and suggested, “You could write your own.”

Your story doesn’t simply flow onto the page, perfect, on the first try. The first story I wrote was “How the Pig Got It’s Curly Tail”. I barely remember those writing classes Mom taught us. We sat at the dining room table, number 2 pencils gripped in fierce fists, and wrote to her prompts. I still have that story, block letters on ruled paper with lots of cross-outs, typical 2nd grader fare.

I am grateful that she shared her love of story. I revel in the memories of long conversations about the bible and Shakespeare, my text books, and later, her books. I resent, but appreciate, dinners interrupted to check definitions in the dictionary, that led to more words, and more. Later, when I was in third grade, Mom carved out time from tending to our home and our childhood dramas, to write her own stories. Turn the page and Mom is getting short pieces published but I am an awkward sixth grader embarrassed that I am featured in some of her stories. Turn the page again, and I’m in college, coming out as a lesbian, and finding a love of earth-based spirituality, while she has started teaching writing. Turn the page to the next chapter. I have moved to the other side of the country to homestead and begin a career. Mom’s young adult books begin to get published. Turn the page again and while I learn to write sermons, Mom is my go to person. “Put more smells and colors and movement in it.” she would counsel. “Is that your voice or are you quoting? I want to experience it with you!” she urged. Now she trusted me to give her feedback on her drafts.

Some of those books gave me insights into her past. I saw her as an awkward teenager wishing someone would listen to her and a hesitant young woman breaking away from her family. Her whole life was a journey to find her voice and to use it. It is difficult to find out what your true voice really is. Turn more pages, and I am companioning her as she faces her death and is racing against time and cancer to publish her book of memoir that she has written over the years.

Her stories connect the past, the present, and the future. The tale that is told is the spell being cast.

“Children will Listen” asks:

What do you leave to your child when you’re dead?
Only whatever you put in its head
Things that your mother and father had said
Which were left to them too

Yes, we leave behind memories. Memories of what we said, what we did. We leave behind our stories and these stories both remind us of our love, which is the root of our grief. They also help us to bear that grief. Memories have flowed down from your many ancestors. Samhain is a time to listen for our ancestors. We must listen in order to hear their stories.

I feel all my ancestors within me. Listen, they say, you are the result of the stories of thousands.

We invite you to find your voice. Your story is the only truly true story you can tell and only you can tell it.

Link to “Children Will Listen” by Stephen Sondheim, performed by Barbara Streisand

Uncategorized

Previous Post

October 17, 2015

CUUPS Announces 2015 Election Results

Next Post

October 20, 2015 Fudo Myoo

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Current Events CUUPS Press Release Interfaith liturgy Media Review podcast Religious Education Seasonal Reflection Spiritual Practice Summary Uncategorized

Select a Month July 2026 June 2026 April 2026 January 2026 December 2025 October 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 February 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz