how to beat people up without even touching them

Last updated on: July 29, 2013 at 7:00 am by David Hayward

how to beat people up without even touching them 2013-07-29T07:00:14-04:00 David Hayward

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Clickety click on this image real quick and you’ll to my store just lickety split!

I have been on a huge learning curve this last week. I’ve come to realize on a deeper level how significant a role shame plays in our culture, and especially our religious, spiritual and church culture.

I was ordained in the Presbyterian Church in Canada in 1986 and began the ministry by pastoring three small rural churches. The sermons the people liked the best were the ones where I poured out my wrath upon them for not measuring up to my idea of what a Christian should be. They loved those ones. Then, after I went through a major spiritual transition and realized how arrogant and manipulative I was and decided to change the way I spoke to the people, there were complaints. I recall one woman in particular begging me with tears to spiritually beat her up every Sunday and make her feel guilty. She actually said, “I love to be brow-beaten!”, which essentially means “to intimidate or subjugate by an overbearing manner or domineering speech”.

It saddened me then that this was what people wanted. And it saddened me to realize that because we were in the church and I held the position of authority, that this was what I could easily give with their permission.

Why? Do people feel like crap and like to be reminded? Are their identities so wrapped up in shame that they only feel addressed when their shamed selves are addressed? Is our theology so anti-human that the language of shame is the only accent we can understand? Is church culture so dysfunctional that we only know how to function when it is sick as usual?

Shame is the air we breathe. It’s a major part of our culture. It’s everywhere, pervasive and toxic, to the point that many people can’t even feel unless they’re humiliated. And the church is one of the most perfect sub-cultures to fine-tune shame into an art form to dominate people.

There are too many people administering shame. There are too many people taking it.

We are addicted to shame, and we have our dealers and users.

To provide an encouraging and non-shaming space is one of the reasons I started The Lasting Supper. I personally extend an invitation to you.

Previous Post

July 28, 2013

Are We Populating the World with Atheists?

Next Post

July 30, 2013 why millennials are leaving the church really

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category art cartoons cartoons 2 freebie music one minute message podcast Sophia teaching technology thought

Select a Month February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 March 2006 February 2006

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does "Jezebel" mean in Hebrew?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Queen of the people The Lord reigns Daughter of Baal Unexalted